Columbo

I stole something that belonged to you.

That is absurd.

- You're a genius. - Yeah, that's right.

How many of your other clients have you framed with Tanya?

Well, you're very perceptive.

Too bad it wasn't on during the murder. You could have told me who did it.

I think I know how you killed Mr. Norris.

Subliminal cuts.

Your entire case could rest on that.

If my wife decided to murder me...

But you have to die to become a martyr.

Can't win 'em all.

Nothing can happen in this country until someone sells something.

We are...

Oh. Well, Doctor, can I help you?

No. No. Not at all, thank you.

You're a little bit early this evening, Roger.

Oh, yeah, I came in to check out the sound system.

Okay, well, there's the film.

Mmm-hmm.

We'll be running in about an hour, I would say.

I'll let you know.

Okay, good.

Hello.

Hello, Mrs. Norris?

You don't know me, but I think we should talk.

Who is this?

Uh, let's just say that I am a friend of...

Tanya Baker, which is the subject about which I am calling.

I don't know any Tanya...

Yes, I know you don't, Mrs. Norris,

but your husband does.

You see, Tanya is my girlfriend, and Mr. Norris is your husband.

I wish there was a nice way to put it,

but there isn't. They're having an affair, and that's that.

That is absurd.

It is, huh?

Well, that's funny, because I've got the proof...

right here in front of me.

It started when he hired her...

to do the bathing suit commercials...

and it's been going on ever since.

Go on.

I'm sorry.

But this is a little new to me, too.

Anyway, I hired...

a private detective because I got suspicious.

And he... he took a lot of pictures.

You could have a set if you want them.

I don't why I'm even calling you, except...

it seemed like it would help if you knew about it.

But I don't believe you.

Well, if you'd like to see for yourself,

you can because they're together right now...

as we are talking.

And if you want to meet me at Valley and Magnolia...

I'll take you over to where they are.

I don't know...

I'll be there in 40 minutes.

But if I get stuck in traffic, you wait for me, will you?

All right. I'll wait for you.

Okay. I'll be there.

- Yes? - Mr. Norris.

Oh, Mr. Norris, good evening, sir. Go ahead.

The concept of this film, the results have been astonishing.

The demographics are the strongest we've ever had.

Hello, Vic.

Bart.

Jimmy, why don't you bring the caviar?

Yes, sir.

Would you like to have a drink before the screening, or afterwards?

There isn't going to be any after-the-screening drink...

unless I get those negatives.

Well, Vic, I haven't made up my mind about that yet.

But I have something for you,

because I know how much you like it.

Caviar. Royal Iranian beluga.

It's just come in.

Jimmy, put that down for Mr. Norris.

Yes, sir.

I can see why you'd have a hard time making up your mind.

How many of your other clients have you framed with Tanya?

It wouldn't surprise me a bit.

This whole institution was built on her remarkable body.

I must ask the D.A. to look into that.

You're turning into a crusader on me, Vic.

Enjoying it.

With a martyr complex?

Could be.

But you have to die to become a martyr.

That follows.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, perhaps we should go in.

I think it's about time.

- Hello, Mr. Norris. - Good evening.

- Watch out with that. - Vic, I'll be with you in a minute.

Jimmy, why don't you leave all that? You can clean it up in the morning.

- All right. - I won't need you any more.

- Yes, sir. - Here. Here.

- Don't forget this. - Oh, thank you, sir. Good night.

Good night, Jimmy.

First, let me explain what you are going to see.

This is a final cut, but without narration.

All the music and the effects are in, but not the narration.

I will do that myself from the stage,

so that if any of you have ideas...

that you want to contribute, we can incorporate them...

before we hire a narrator for the final soundtrack.

Um, let me add just one thing.

I'm extremely proud of this film.

It incorporates several very strong motivational sales factors.

I think you will find it a very, very motivating film.

Okay, then. Let's have a look.

Nothing can happen in this country until someone sells something.

We are traditionally a nation of salesmen.

But most importantly, we have advanced salesmanship to a creative art.

It has been the ability of salesmen,

representing American products and capital around the globe,

that has made American business preeminent.

The energies of these workers...

and the dollar resources behind them are wasted...

unless there is someone to sell their product...

in the American marketplace.

Now, here's an item that doesn't require selling.

Exquisite lines, soft and caressable.

And, as we know, an invaluable selling aid.

...that the California desert, arid and uninhabitable,

would be developed into thriving model communities.

20 years ago, no one could imagine that in this vast wasteland,

we would build fully realized cities with all of the urban services...

and none of the urban problems of America's metropolitan centers.

To sell that idea is the secret of American success.

To convince the public that this hot, parched land...

could be a suburban oasis, was a feat that required not only imagination,

but daring.

The public had to be shown more than what you see.

They had to see the progressive vision of a new suburban lifestyle...

You all right, Vic?

...that took creative and dynamic salesmanship,

uniquely American in concept and...

Vic.

Salesmen will be the ones that will help focus and redirect the economy...

during peacetime.

...which is another way of saying "salesmanship":

a profession that has become a way of life.

Our most powerful weapon...

in the war of ideas and economies.

A tribute to American creativity.

Ideas that are the foundation...

of a growing society.

Where is Mr. Norris?

Oh, he stepped out a few moments ago.

He looked a bit uncomfortable.

It's awfully warm in here.

Yes, we've been having trouble with the thermostat. I'm terribly sorry.

Mr. Norris!

- What's happened? - It's Norris.

- His heart? - I don't know.

Listen, somebody call an ambulance.

I don't know, I don't think so!

Coroner says that the victim Norris was evidently killed...

by one shot through the heart. Small caliber bullet.

But he won't be certain until we have ballistics report tomorrow.

Now, everyone's been searched.

We're going through the building now, looking for the murder weapon.

It is possible to come in through either of two separate entrances,

one at the front of the building and a service entrance at the rear.

Both were unlocked.

You get all that, Lieutenant?

Oh, yeah, I got every word.

Uh, excuse me, I'm a little hungry.

I missed dinner tonight workin' late on that Hayward case.

These are not bad.

Coroner's taking the body away, Lieutenant.

All right. Listen, Sergeant, I'll be right there.

Um, I'm a little hungry, I missed dinner tonight.

So I'm just going to grab a few canapes. I'll be right with you.

What are you eating all this stuff for?

- Have some of this out here. - What is it?

Imported caviar.

Have some. Go on.

Oh, that's good.

Mmm, that's really good.

Yeah?

That's delicious.

It ought to be. It cost $80 a jar.

- $80? - Yeah.

That must be about $15 worth right in my mouth.

We'd better get out of here. We're going to get arrested.

We've talked to all of Norris' employees.

None of them have any idea why somebody would shoot him.

Uh-huh.

So Mr. Norris was in the screening room, he's watchin' a film,

and for some reason, he got up and came out in the lobby and somebody shot him.

Yep.

I wonder how the murderer would know in advance...

a guy who's watching a film in there...

would suddenly get up and come out here.

Nobody knows.

Lieutenant, you want to talk to the Coroner?

Um...