Bonding

Feels like we're back at the principal's office.

But, on the plus side,

instead of detention, we could get spanked.

No jokes right now, please.

Right.

Do you guys want water, or tea, or…?

- No, we're okay. Thank you. - What kind of tea do you… have?

May, she still talks about you.

Fondly?

Sort of.

Well… not really.

No, actually.

Yeah, that tracks.

Good luck.

Mistress May.

Welcome back.

So, let me get this straight.

You've been banned from every dungeon in New York,

dragged all over social media

for lack of consent, good judgment,

and misrepresenting our duties as dommes.

And to top it all off, you did an outcall with a known dangerous client

that somehow resulted in a police chase you narrowly escaped,

and now no one will rent to you 'cause no one trusts your vetting.

Did I miss anything?

The stabbing?

Uh, in her defense, she was, like,

coming to my defense.

- Pete! Enough. - Pete?

Uh, Carter. May's, um, assistant

slash bodyguard slash budding master extraordinaire.

Also, I'm a comedian.

Oh, God.

I host my own night at my friend's comedy club.

It's every Thursday, and it's called Cumedy Tonight, you know?

Like "comedy," but with a U where the O should be.

Like "jizzedy," but "cum,"

not "jizz."

Actually was maybe gonna call it Jizzedy,

but… it was trademarked.

Did you follow any of that?

She's walking towards us.

And what is your role in all of this?

Long story, but I probably would have said no

if I had known what I was getting myself into.

I mean, one minute I'm getting punched in the face

- and peeing on a stranger... - Okay, the punching was all you.

She didn't run it by you first?

No.

That's not how consent works.

- Tiff. - May.

- Both of you. - Mira...

Mistress Mira.

Mistress Mira…

I know that we fucked up.

I mean… I fucked up.

But that's why we're here.

To make it right and…

to work again.

We need the money.

Shh. I can handle this.

We need the money.

Spring semester starts for me in three weeks.

With all the legal and financial issues plaguing our community,

you think I'm gonna let you work in my space?

Putting everything I worked so hard to achieve at risk

because Little Miss Authority Issues needs to pay for graduate school?

I don't think you realize that, for some of us, this is our real job.

Years ago,

when you first came into my studio, you said you needed a mentor.

I invested in you.

And the minute I had something to say you didn't like, you were gone.

No note, no call, nothing.

Sounds familiar.

I thought I could do it on my own.

Hmm. Then what's he doing here?

I had high hopes for you, Mistress May.

Shame you had such low standards for yourself.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my client.

She really came for you.

Are you all right, pet?

I'm teaching a training intensive in the new year.

Domme 101.

There are openings if you can pay.

Um…

Domme 101?

- Don't you think I'm a little advanced... - No unauthorized clients

until the course is completed to my satisfaction.

At the first sign of defiance,

you are out. Understood?

Understood.

- Yes. - Yes.

Thank you, Mistress Mira.

Entry to the course requires a perfect single-column tie.

Get it right, or get out of here.

- Thank you. - Happy New Year.

Let's go.

So, she's, like, iconic.

Now, this is the right way to close out the year.

Do you think it's okay? I need it to be perfect.

Well, it's doing the trick for me, Mistress.

Hey. Don't call me that, okay?

But everyone else gets to.

Yeah, my clients do.

But you… are my friend.

Oh.

Well, we've been friends for ten months,

and I guess I'm just wondering if I could maybe,

possibly, probably call you my girlfriend

- tonight with my college buddies? - Just…

call me Tiff.

Hey…

be grateful that we're friends…

with benefits.

This is Tiff,

my friend…

who is a girl.

And she is benefiting me greatly today.

I have to go to work.

M'kay. Give me a second.

Okay.

I hate this.

- It's easy. - Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

You are so masc.

Boy Scouts, baby.

Why do you have to go to work today?

It's, like, a holiday.

When your dad is the boss,

no day is a holiday.

Well, I have the day off.

Maybe I could finally see the offices of a fancy Wall Street banker.

Ha. You would hate it.

Sorry, what… what is this thing again tonight?

Doug's friends are throwing a fancy-dress New Year's Eve extravaganza.

But it's straight people,

so you could probably wear, like, cargo pants and a fleece.

Straight people?

Gross.

I know, but Tiff's…

you know, meeting Doug's friends for the first time,

so we have to go for emotional support.

Don't you worry.

Once we scandalize the breeders with our passionate midnight kiss,

we can take our flaming carriage to the gay ball, at which we truly belong.

Mmm.

Sure I can't buy you lunch?

Frank, god damn it!

It's not my fault!

Yes, it is!

Let's stay at my place tonight.

- Please. - Yes.

Mm.

Pete, tell me what you see here.

A mistake?

That is not funny.

Neither is that blue line, baby.

- Oh, hey, Rolph. - Guten Morgen, Master Carter.

We're having a baby!

We don't even have insurance.

We don't have a bloody job.

You work at the makeup store.

Yes, Frank.

By "we," I actually mean you.

I need money to go to the doctor.

I spent all our money on pregnancy tests.

Welp, that's my cue.

Uh, Rolph, I need to practice tying you up.

Ah, yes, Master Carter.

What about the name "Babe," babe?