A Slight Case of Murder

Man: Here's to the end of prohibition!

Old man prohibition passed away

at exactly 5:32 1/2 P.M.

New York time

when Utah ratified...

Folks, here's the last keg

of prohibition beer in the house.

Marko's ether, and it's on the house!

Here's to Remy Marko, the king of beer!

He kept us supplied for 4 years!

Marko is all right!

Yeah, but thank heaven

we don't have to drink his beer anymore!

To Remy Marko! To Remy Marko!

Come, on. Shut up. Shut up, you lugs.

I got something to say.

Prohibition is over, sure.

What of it?

Well, I'll show you what of it.

It's the birth of a new day for us.

Come here, all of you.

I'll show you something.

Get over here.

Look. Get an eyeful of that.

I tell ya, it's great!

A land office business!

Everybody's drinking beer.

Don't that mean anything to you?

Yeah, but, Remy--

well, they been drinking my beer

for 4 years, ain't they, and liked it.

They had to like it.

Well, they're gonna keep on drinking it,

more then ever now.

It's gonna be the same beer,

the same customers,

and they're gonna be just as thirsty

as they ever was.

The only difference is,

from now on, Marko is legitimate.

What about us?

Aw, shut up, will ya? Shut up, ya lugs.

I'm gonna take care of every one of ya.

Just like I always did.

I got a job for every one of ya.

From now on you're gonna be salesmen.

Salesmen?! Salesmen?!

Yeah, that's what I said: Salesmen.

Well, that's what you been up to now, ain't it?

Beer salesmen.

Well, that's what you're gonna keep on being,

only there's gonna be a little difference

in our sales methods.

Come on, boys. Take out the artillery.

Come on, hurry up! Hurry up, now.

Loosen up. That's it.

Hey, some of you guys over there

bring up the rest of those persuaders.

Come on, all. Make it snappy.

There, that's it.

Oh, lefty, blackie,

I want you to dump this on one of our trucks

and cart it down to the east river.

You mean dump it, boss?

Hey, we can get a lot of money

for this stuff, boss. We can sell it.

Not us.

I told you, from now on we're legitimate.

There's gonna be a lot of changes around here.

In the first place, this ain't no still no more, see?

It's a brewery.

Yeah, it's a business enterprise

operated on a strictly legitimate basis. Get me?

Oh, yeah, and I'm gonna give this place a lot of class.

Now that reminds me...

Mike, I want you to shave every day.

Every day?

Mm-hmm.

Lefty. Lay off these striped silk shirts.

Aw, boss-- from now on,

everybody wears white shirts.

Get me? With clean collars.

Listen, boss,

will it help us to sell Marko's beer

any better with clean shirts?

Oh, yes. Say, there's another thing.

From now on, it ain't "Marko's beer" no more.

Come here, I'll show you something--

say, you know, Marko ain't been asleep.

You know, I'm all ready for this new setup.

Come here. Get a gander at this.

"Gold velvet brewery. Remy Marko, president."

Tomorrow the warehouse sign comes down

and up goes this one.

That sign?

That ain't big enough.

No, you dope, ain't you got no imagination?

This is just a miniature model

just to give you an idea.

Ehh.

Well, I'm going home.

Here you are, boss.

Thanks.

"Drink gold velvet beer.

It's the tops."

It's a good thing the boss never drinks beer.

I want everybody to show up

bright and early tomorrow morning,

ready for business.

Oh, and, butch,

wash your neck--

come on, Mike--

and get a manicure.

Come on.

What's Remy gonna do now, Nora?

I don't know. He never tells me till he's done it.

Everything was going swell

under prohibition, then the government

has to step in with repeal.

Yeah. They're always passing laws

interfering with people.

Hello, Remy!

Hiya! Hiya!

There's Remy now.

Ah, Nora. I want to talk to you.

Excuse us, folks.

Aw, you look great, kid.

Come on in, honey,

into the music room.

Music room? Up to now,

this has always been the slot-machine room.

Well, that's all gonna be changed now.

We're gonna start putting on plenty of class.

Oh, and by the way,

have Mike take the spittoons out of the living room.

Remy, you aren't thinking

of going into some other racket, are ya?

No. We're going legitimate.

Take a look at me.

You are now looking at the president

of gold velvet brewery.

"Drink gold velvet beer. It's the tops."

It all sounds swell, Remy, if I could only

be sure you ain't got a bug in your nut.

Well, listen, darling, I got the whole thing figured out.

I been telling the boys about it, too.

Why, I been making plans for all this.

Well, what about Mary?

Will we keep her in that Paris school?

Why not? It's the most expensive school

in Europe, ain't it?

Well, that's what I mean.

Will we be able to afford it after we're legitimate?

Afford it?! Ha ha! Now look here, Nora,

nothing is too good for Marko's daughter.

I'm telling you, I'm gonna have

the biggest beer business in the country--

in the world!

Now that it's legal to sell it

and you don't have to push it,

you just watch Marko sail ahead.

Imagine us being legitimate after all these years.

Gee, I won't hardly know how to act.

Well, after we're legit a little while

you'll get so used to it

you'll forget we ever were anything else.

Well, that being the case,

we got to start changing things around here

right away.

Gentlemen!

I beg your pardon.

Please refrain from any rough talk.

What kind of a joint do you think you're in?

Remy's gone legit, see?

Yeah, that's right.

From now on, Nora and I want you

to be high-toned and talk refined.

Atta boy, Remy!

Yeah, put a muzzle on that "atta boy" lingo.

That goes for all of ya.

What'll it be? Schlitz, Budweiser, or gold velvet?

Anything but gold velvet.

I'm sorry. We're not renewing our order

on gold velvet beer.

This joint used to take care

of 2 dozen barrels of Marko's stuff a week

in the old days.

Those days are over.

They want real beer now.

What was in that glass?

Gold velvet beer.

Take it away. I'm not having a tooth pulled.

Remy? Yeah?

We got another letter this morning

from Mary's school.

Yeah?

We're 6 months behind in her bills.

They want $4,850.

Well, they got a lot of nerve

bothering Marko about chicken feed like that.