K-911

Okay. Lets go.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Hey!

Another ticket.

Damn!

Parking on the wrong side of the street?

This is a Ford Dyslexia!

Its gonna be a great day today, Jerry Lee. Come on.

Man: Park it over there.

Man: What? What? What? Its bank day.

All right, I know were here to get some Kibble money.

I'm gonna go to that ATM machine and get some cash.

Stay here and watch my car. I spent a lot of money restoring this car.

You protect my car.

And don't change the music.

Stay. Don't bite my...

Watch for bad guys near my car.

Woman: When's your car gettin done? Man: Wednesday, I think.

Woman: What a hassle. Man: Yeah.

"Checking, savings." No savings, checking.

"Smoker, nonsmoker?" Nonsmoker.

"Democrat, Republican?" Democrat.

Man: Didn't I tell you to stay in the car?

Get in the car. Good boy.

Get down! Police! Get down!

Get down! Police!

Police! Down, get down!

No, not here. Not by my car! Oh, man.

Guard: Code Red! Code Red! We're under fire.

Repeat, were pinned down and under fire.

Some partner you are. Why didn't you warn me, at least?

Guard: Is this guy after the money, or is he just pissed at your car?

Can you reload, please? Thank you.

My speaker!

My stereo.

Were gonna take this guy out. You cover us,

and don't be afraid to use the gun!

Come on, Jerry Lee!

Hey, come on. Open up.

Come on. Shut the door.

Okay, so I forgot. Its a bulletproof window.

All right, you son of a bitch, we both have armor now.

We got him.

No, no, not the running thing. I hate the running thing.

Lets go.

Jerry Lee!

Man: Jerry Lee!

Come on. Jerry Lee, come on!

Aah!

Damn it!

Hey!

He's gone.

Why didn't you jump? Come on.

What do you mean?

What, are you leavin it all for me? Huh?

Christ, what's with you lately? What's with you?

We almost had that guy.

You know why cops have dogs?

So they don't have to do this! That's the deal.

Management, labor. Foreman, employee.

Boss, secretary. I walk, you run.

I cuff'em, you catch 'em. You get treats, I get a promotion.

I can't breathe!

My car! Jerry Lee, look what he did to my car!

Look what they did!

I couldn't even sell it to a cheese factory.

Hey, Dooley! Check this out.

Its a modified M-16. A company called...

Armaments 2000s doin' the retrofit.

Its supposed to be for military use only.

- Where did you hear that? - I saw it in a gun magazine.

- Did you pick that up on the street? - Yeah.

- Are you supposed to be messin' with evidence? - No.

Give me that. Go get me some coffee.

Well, Jerry Lee, so much for the Brady Bill, huh?

- Dooley? What are you doing here? - Hi, Captain.

What happened?

Uh, well, there was a, uh, equipment failure.

- Equipment failure? - The bad guy had Air Jordan's on. It was no contest.

What about Jerry Lee? He needs four little Air Jordan's too?

- You mean they make those for dogs? - That was a rhetorical question.

You know, Captain, you should let people know when you plan to be rhetorical,

cause your tone of voice never changes.

- You think you're funny? - Sometimes.

- This isn't one of those times. - Jerry Lee, he just hit me!

Quit bein' a smart-ass. Tell me what happened. - Again!

The bad guy had a full body armor on.

- That should have given you the advantage. - It was that lightweight stuff.

What can I tell you? The guy had a rocket up his ass.

- What the hell is that? - This here?

Uh, this was the shooters. This is a modified M-16.

A company named Armaments 2000 does the retrofit.

Its apparently for military use only.

- How do you know all that? - I'm trying to better myself by taking night seminars.

Ah, shut up, will you? You better sit down. You look pale.

- Probably because you hit me. - And give that dog there a drink of water.

Jerry Lee is fine, and so am I.

You don't look fine. Sit down before you fall down.

- Now. Detective Harris? - Yes.

- Its the smog! - Take this to the lab and check it for prints, okay?

You know, Dooley,

every time you go someplace lately, people try to kill you.

- Well, I'm a popular guy. - Look, I'm serious here.

You've lost three suspects in three weeks! Come.

- You are either out of your league... - I am not out of my league.

- Or you've lost a step. - What are you talking about, "lost a step"?

You should have taken time off after Tracy died.

- That has nothing to do with it, Captain. - Oh. Are you sure?

Absolutely sure.

When was the last time you had a physical?

Physical. Is that the blood pressure, when they do the...

I want you both checked out. You understand me?

I obviously can't count on you anymore.

Hey! What about my car?

Have your detailer look at it. He can probably rub it out.

Rub it out?

I guess I can drive it at night. Nobody'll see it.

Come on, Jerry Lee. Come on, get in.

My poor car.

Aw, he got my cup holder too.

Woman: I'm so sorry we're late.

Man: Its okay, I haven't been waiting long, and thank you very much for meeting me.

Dooley: Ah, you know what? Its my fault.

Woman: Devon Lane, this is my husband, Detective Dooley.

Dooley: Nice to meet you. Devon: Oh, the pleasure is all mine.

Devon: I'm so excited. Dooley: Can we get some drinks over here?

- "Devon, you want a beer? - Its Devon.

Dooley: Devon. Sorry. What's with the tape recorder?

Devon: I'm a writer. I tape everything.

Tracy: Devon, I just want to say that I see real potential in your work.

Devon: Potential? Really? Tracy: Oh, yeah.

He's been a cop a long time. Maybe he can help you with some of that cop stuff.

Devon: Would you? Dooley: Well, yeah, sure. You okay, honey?

Tracy: Ill be fine. I'll be back in a few minutes. Excuse me.

Devon: Tracy told me you read my manuscript.

Dooley: Yeah, I did. I didn't read the whole thing.

I read the first and the last chapter.

That's really all I had time for.

Devon: The first and last chapters? Dooley: I gotta tell ya,

uh, its- it wasn't really that real.

Devon: It wasn't real? Dooley: No, it wasn't real. I didn't believe a lot of the...

all that cop stuff you have in there, the shootouts and the bank robbery.

That's not really how it happens.

Devon: It wasn't real? Dooley: That's all right. It's your first attempt, man.

Don't worry about it. You'll get there.

Woman: Any loss of appetite? No, I'm eating pretty well.

- Not you, the dog. - Oh, uh-

No, he's fine.

- Okay, I'm gonna increase the speed and incline. - Why?

Well, that's the standard test for canines, Detective.

Oh.

What?

I can hold the handrail. Humans can hold the handrail.

All right, all right, all right.

Have you noticed any changes in him?

Yeah, he doesn't chase the little chuck wagon across the kitchen floor anymore.

Any loss of hearing or smell?

Well, that depends on what you mean by "any."

Well, maybe sometimes, a little bit.

- Well, there's nothing wrong with your dog. - Really?

He's just suffering from the effects of aging.

- You should slow him down a bit. - Why?

Would you send your grandfather out to try and do your job?

I wouldn't send my grandfather to microwave popcorn.

- So why would you send out Jerry Lee? - Cause my grandfather's too old.

- So is Jerry Lee. - What do you mean? Look at him. He looks great.

Do you know that dogs are leading longer and healthier lives these days?

- Where did you hear that? - Seminar. At night. I try to better myself.

Oh, you're trying to better yourself? Maybe you should get a checkup.

You've got high blood pressure. Your face is bright red.

That is a drinking problem!

Well, what do you know? You're a vet.

You both need to be on special diets.

- The same one? - No. You should be on a low-fat, low-sodium diet.

The dog needs to be on a senior maintenance meal plan.

What the hells that?

Lamb and rice for older dogs.

It might give him some flatulence for a week or so, but nothing to worry about.

Nothing for you to worry about. I gotta live with the damn dog.

- You trying to be funny? - No.

I forgot my wallet, so can I write a check?

Do I get any free samples?

Senior maintenance.

Hey, your day. You checked out great.

You just, uh-

You're out of shape.

Come on. Lets go.

Come on. Lets jump.

Come on!

Hey, hey. Come here, you. Come on.

Come on, just do it.

Ow! Ow!

Come on!

Jump, jump, jump!

Hey! What are you doing on my spot?

That's my spot.

Here.

That'll make you feel better.

You all right?

What's the matter with your lamb and rice?