Black Doves

- How was she? - Green.

- You drop her home? - No, she stayed.

Okay, well, good work.

If that's everything, I'm gonna go.

Lenny Lines called me. Said you've been pestering her to take you on as a client.

You want to be a triggerman, Sam?

I think I have more to offer beyond what I'm currently doing, yes.

She says she has a job, thinks you could be good for it.

- Asked me if I thought you were reliable. - What did you tell her?

Same thing I'll tell you.

No one knows if they can really do it until they try it,

and then they find out pretty quick.

So she wants to hire me?

If you do this, you can't work for me. You're out on your own.

I don't employ killers. It's not the business I'm in.

You sure this is what you want, Sam?

All right, go on.

Get ready, all players.

We would like to inform you, the first game starts in five minutes.

Let's get ready to bingo.

Hm.

Come in.

Close the door. You're letting all the cockroaches out.

Take a seat.

You're a little skinny, aren't you?

Reed says you're reliable.

Well, I suppose this is in your blood, isn't it?

So... the target.

There's a man.

He's been cheating some people.

Breaking a code, so to speak.

This is a business of codes, you understand?

You don't. But you will. Maybe.

Anyway, this man, he crossed a line.

He has to go. Has to.

He'll be at this Chinese restaurant, Tuesday, 8:00 p.m.

Table in the corner.

Alone.

You've not done anything like this before, have you?

No.

Well, it's an event, I can tell you that much.

I can handle it.

We'll see.

Is it done?

It's done.

That'll be the hardest one you'll ever do.

They want me to train you in the basics.

They want you to know how to hurt someone. They want you to know how to kill someone.

They want you to know how to walk into a situation and assess it for threats,

how to tell if someone's gonna attack you,

how to know if you can outfight someone or outrun them.

They want you to know how to use your environment

to kill, maim, apprehend, and generally cause mischief at all times.

- And you know how to do that, do you? - Yes.

The odd-jobman?

Not the odd-jobman anymore, actually.

Good for you.

So you are gonna teach me how to be a cold-hearted killer, then?

Darling, I shall certainly endeavor to try.

I don't know how you do that. - What?

Drink like a Russian submarine captain having a mental breakdown.

Oh, come on. I was with the Tory wives all weekend.

You've gotta give me this.

You know, if you really hate it, you don't have to do it.

How did you become a... What is it you call yourself?

A triggerman.

Triggerman, right, yeah. How'd you become one of those?

Particularly bad careers adviser, was it?

It's a family business. My dad did it.

Something of a legend, actually.

- Wow. Mm.

So you're looking for his approval.

- I didn't know my dad. - I didn't know mine either.

He wasn't very, um, present.

But... the smell of gun oil,

leather, nicotine,

rust, it's like...

like he's back.

Right.

Proust's shotgun.

Hm.

I couldn't kill people for a living.

It's not what you think it is.

Well, it's murdering people, isn't it? So it is what I think it is.

I've never pulled a trigger that didn't make the world better.

I'm off. Are you coming?

- No, I'm gonna stay. Finish this. - All right.

I was, um...

I was glad you messaged. I didn't think you would.

Yeah. Um...

I almost didn't, but then I...

Good evening, sir.

- Hey. - Nice to see you again.

Nice to see you.

Do you, uh, come here a lot, then?

- Yeah. Mm.

Yes, um,

I like it.

Oh, right.

Can I admit something straight off the bat?

Sure.

I don't want it to get in the way or offend you or anything,

but I only have you saved in my phone as "Sexy Pub Man Good Hair."

Well, you're in mine as "Smoking Area Fit Guy question mark."

Um...

- Sam? - Yeah.

Michael?

Yeah.

God, we were fucked that night, weren't we?

Wonton soup.

Thank you. Chicken noodle soup.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

So what do you do for a living? Insurance.

Mm, fun.

- Well... No, no, no. I'm just...

- I'm just teasing. Sorry. No, I mean...

You know, I like it. I get to travel a lot.

Mm-hmm.

So, um, I said that I didn't think that you would message,

and you said that you almost didn't,

but you didn't finish what you were gonna say.

You've gotta tell me.

Your eyes.

My eyes?

Mm.

I kept seeing them.

Um... when I closed my eyes, I could see yours.

It was, um...

it was nice.

When I close my eyes, I don't usually...

I don't always, uh,

see nice things, so I wanted to see them again.

To make sure I hadn't... imagined them.

And, um,

did you just imagine them?

Very good. - Yeah.

So come on, then.

Who's the boy? What's his name? What does he do?

Michael.

He's an artist.

What kind of art?

Like abstract, you know. Like, um, paintings and stuff.

-"Paintings and stuff"? - Yeah.

Huh. I can see that, actually. You with an artist boyfriend.

- Really? - Yeah. It'd be good for you.

- You need a bit of culture. - Fuck off. I'm very cultured.

What's the last book you read?

Zadie Smith, something or other. Uh, Wolf Hall ?

You haven't read a book in ten years. What does he think you do?

Um, insurance.

Do you know anything about insurance?

I know that an artist isn't gonna ask me any questions about it.

That's very clever.

- Same time tomorrow? - Uh, I can't, actually. I'm, um...

I am going away for the weekend.

Where's he taking you?

Wallace's family have a holiday cottage on the Isle of Skye.

Getting serious.

Well, pack a jumper, won't you?

- Next week, then? No, I'm away then too.

He's just been promoted, and there's a trip to Washington.

He thought maybe I could come along.

Okay. Well, um...

- Let me know when you're next free. - I will.

- Take care, love, yeah? - I'll see you, Sam.

Happy housewarming!

Oh, thank you. - Oh, it's a beautiful house.

It's gorgeous.

- So this is just a little something. - Aw, thank you very much.

- Don't thank him till you've opened it. - It's a water filter. Brita.

So it's a brand you can trust.

It's a water filter.

Well, this is a hard water area, Samuel.

I wish you would have consulted me before you moved here.

Oh fuck. Arancini!

Oh my God. Ignore him.

This place is absolutely gorgeous. And here.

Ah.

A little something to celebrate you two.

Thank you.

I'll make sure he's not choking on arancini.

- Um, can you do something with these? Yes. Yep.

...still several seats to go,

but the Conservatives have crossed the finishing line

and have officially won this election.

They will almost certainly proceed now to a bigger majority.

But we can say that, based on the results...

Sam, the door. - Yep. Coming.

- What am I supposed to do with this? - I don't know.

It makes your tap water taste better.

My tap water tastes fine.

Yeah. So does mine.

So who are these guys?

The Newman brothers.

New outfit.

They're getting a bit of a foothold south of the river.

Someone wants them dislodged.

Shouldn't be too hard.

They drive in from their mother's house in Croydon every other weekend.