McCabe & Mrs. Miller

Damn it, I told you.

Did you think I was stupid?

That's exactly what I said. Six - Six of 'em.

Evenin'.

Holy Mother of God, keep me pure in thought, word and deed.

Laura, what's for dinner?

No, sit down. Sit down.

Laura!

- Say, uh, that's the back door, ain't it? - Yeah.

H was about to put up a bottle on the house.

- (men laughing) Yeah, that'll be the day.

Get the pipe. Get the pipe.

- Was he wearing a gun? - Sure didn't stay very long.

He ain't goin' nowhere. Just gettin' somethin' out of his pack.

Say, do you know what kind of gun that was? That was a Swedish kind of gun.

Uh, Swedish.

Get a rag.

So cheap, he squeezes out the bar rag.

Wet enough for you, mister?

Starts raining up here, it doesn't know when to stop.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

-I got a 20 and - -You got a 20?

What are you doing, Coyle? I brought that chair over here.

You're lucky you got a gimp leg, or I'd bash you in the face, you ignorant...

- It comin' back to you, Frank? - Yeah, we got it.

What you give me?

- Gentlemen. - Where'd you get all that money?

Wanna take a look at these?

I'll put in 10.

Say, Professor.

Didn't you say somethin' about a bottle on the house or somethin'?

Sheehan wouldn't say that.

That's what he said. Yeah, that's what he said.

Yeah, I'm, uh - -Shh!

I'm Patrick Sheehan. This is my place.

Shouldn't we make a deal?

Uh, well, urn, how much a bottle?

- Three dollars. - (men chuckling)

Three dollars? Yesterday it was two dollars.

Well, look, uh, how about we go 50-50 on that?

- I share your profits? - You want to share the losses?

I supply the place.

Yeah, but, uh, I think I supply the customers.

Nobody's bought nothing yet.

Tell you what, you give these boys a two-dollar bottle on me,

and then I'll stand my own losses and you can make your profit on the whiskey.

MAN (chuckles, whispers): That's good.

- One three-dollar bottle, Pat. - Bring it on.

MAN (clears throat): Forty, fifty.

Two-sixty. Two-sixty.

Well, there's 52 there.

- Throwin' away good liquor on him. - Might as well wave good-bye to your flask.

Well, you boys don't know nothin' about me and I don't know nothin' about you.

So what do you say we make this a nickel game, huh? To start off with.

Nickel? Let's make it a dime.

I thank you very kindly, sir.

Now, what I'd like to do,

I'd like to make this a five-card stud

with a, uh, three-bet roof on the card.

And then maybe we get to see, uh, 15 cents on an open pair and the last card.

Unless you have no objections about that, I'd -

- That's good. I'm in for five. - Fifteen and the open pair? I'm in.

Comin' to kick your ass, boy.

Eight of hearts.

Four of clubs.

Deuce of spades. Seven of diamonds.

Eight of spades. Jack of spades.

Three of hearts.

Okay, my friend.

- Jack off. - (men laughing)

Close that goddamn door!

Uh, check.

Evenin', Mr. Elliott.

Hi, Freddie. Going to the opera?

Mr. Smalley, you want to sit in on a hand here?

Uh, you know I don't gamble with no professionals.

- Hey, I'll take your place, Robbie. - If Smalley's not in, I'm staying on.

Hey, what's this shit? You don't wanna play, what's it matter whether it's me or Smalley?

And dry peas.

Church coming along nicely, isn't it?

I was talking with Mrs. Anderson. Can't wait until we get it finished.

- Hey, who's the dealer? - Fella by the name of McCabe.

- What? - McCabe.

- How do you know that? - He said his name was McCabe.

- Joe Shortreed told me. - How does he know?

I don't know. I guess McCabe told him.

- Never lose so fast before in my life. - McCabe: Jumpin' in like birds.

How's it going? Beating his ass.

Drink on the house, Mr. McCabe?

- (liquid pouring) - Thank you very much.

Yeah, yeah, a nickel.

You didn't say your name was McCabe when you come in here.

I didn't say it now. You did.

What you up to? Call.

- Okay. Need new ones. - Okay.

Pudgy McCabe?

The gunfighter?

Businessman. Businessman.

Business ain't so good, is it, huh?

- (men laughing) - Say, did you ever know Bill Roundtree?

What's the matter with you, Sheehan? You got a turd in your pocket?

Pat, we're trying to play some poker here, eh?

I got a king here, gents.

- Oh, shit. - Bart, you're getting slick as a cat's ass.

Hey, partner, you wanna deal a couple of hands for me?

- Sure. You aren't leavin', are ya?

- You're not quittin'? - No, no.

Be right back, gentlemen. Right back.

My good man.

Try not to drop the cards, eh, Riley?

- Where you going? - Nowhere.

Uh, H was, uh, just wondering where you was gonna go.

Well, uh, I was gonna go over there by that fence.

Oh.

Yes, sir, that's McCabe, all right.

John McCabe.

Used to be called Pudgy McCabe. He's got a big rep.

- I ain't never heard of him. - Well, he's got a big rep.

Why'd they call him Pudgy? He don't look so fat.

How in the hell would I know? Anyway, he's the man that shot Bill Roundtree.

- I never heard of him either. - I know Bill Roundtree.

Can't remember from where, but I know the name.

He was nobody to mess with, and that man out there taking a pee shot him.

He's got a big rep.

Gentlemen, the dealer is none other than John McCabe.

Pudgy McCabe? The man that shot Bill Roundtree.

- He really is a gunfighter. - I told you. He's a gunfighter.

I don't care. I'm gonna beat his ass.

- Ever hear of Bill Roundtree? - He shot him? McCabe really shot him?

- Did you say Bill Roundtree? - Yeah.

- Well, I knew Bill Roundtree. - Who is he?

He was a - He was a governor. He was running for governor in Wyoming.

Jeremy, you are so full of shit.

McCabe: Damn, out there it kinda makes you feel like a three-squirt dog in a 30-mile wind.

- That egg's raw, ain't it? - Yeah.

Okay.

Tell me something, boys. Who owns the property around here?

Sheehan owns all the property this side of town.

Yeah, the Chinese don't own no property. They just poachin' mines.

Yeah, and Joe Shortreed, J.J., Bill Cubbs and myself

own that hole the other side of the church.

McCabe.

Uh, how long you figure on staying?

Well, these boys got my tit in a wringer here. I hate to move on when I'm losing.

Well, you can flop here for two bits a night. Come on. I'll show you.

Sorry. Uh...

Oh. Come on. (Clears throat)

What would you think if I, uh,