Ash vs Evil Dead

Oh, God!

Oh, God! I'm in the butt!

But I don't see the book. Where is it?

It's locked up in the Delta, safe and sound.

Hey!

I cannot believe you guys jacked this from Ashy Slashy.

Are you insane?

"Misatra."

What the fuck was that?!

Ah!

Stop it!

What is your genius plan for getting the book back?

Throw one of our epic parties tonight.

And the kids who stole your car will show up.

We might not be able to find the book,

but we can go after the ones who are searching for it.

Mama.

Then let's go kill your kids.

What the rice and beans

is he doing here?

Help!

Believe it or not Dad, this is my day job.

Ashy Slashy's going to kill us all!

Hey, relax! Everything's fine!

My son is a hero.

You hear me? He's a hero!

You really mean that, Dad?

I was wrong.

Ah, Dad.

You can't be dead now.

Not after everything we've been through,

with all the bitterness, and the hatred and...

and now we finally made peace with each other.

I'm so sorry, Jefe.

You're right, it's not fair.

Fate is a cruel mistress, Pablo.

Everyone I've ever loved has been taken from me.

Next time it's going to be you,

or Kelly, or Eli, or...

oh, no, that's pretty much it,

but one of you three, no doubt about it.

Don't worry.

I'm done letting fate choose for me.

From now on,

I'm grabbing the bull by the horns, Jefe.

Won't make a pube hair of difference, Pablo.

My advice, think of your life as a good time,

not a long time.

No, thank you.

You're welcome.

Well, Pop...

I guess it's time to ride the pale horse,

up to the discount hardware store in the sky.

Pablo, you don't see another eyeball around here, do you?

No.

But I think your plan worked.

* Baby, baby, baby!

Those punks are gonna pay.

I got this.

Bull by the horns, Jefe!

Pablo!

No, it's not me, I swear to God!

What the fuck is going on-- ?!

Get out of there!

Ash! The Delta, it's possessed!

Possessed.

No, no, no, no, no.

Come on, baby. Not you.

* ... feel the noise

* Girls, rock your boys No. What are you doing?

* We get wild, wild... No.

Back off! Not you.

Come on! Not the classic.

You can't be possessed! * Come on, feel the noise

Not you!

* Girls, rock your boys

No!

Uh, no! * We get wild

No. * Wild, wild...

Hey, Chet!

Hey, man! Hey, how you doing, buddy?

Uh, yeah!

Hey, listen.

Uh, I got to borrow your wheels, is that cool?

Mm.

Absolutely.

As long as we're going down Mammary Lane.

Oh, sure. We can reminisce later.

No, Mammary Lane?

The titty bar!

Oh, Mammary Lane! Remember?

Yeah! Sure, yeah.

They got great lighting.

Man, I love having you back in town!

Right. Hey, let's get going.

What do you say? Yeah, okay.

And, oh, oh, shit.

That's not the... oh, here.

I got, no. Yeah, that's it.

That's the-- Try that one.

Okay, come on.

Shit. Oh!

Hey, you know what?

Chet, I got a great idea.

If I drive,

you can keep pounding brewskies the whole time.

I can stay hydrated!

Exactly. Great idea. Yes!

Okay! Okay, go that way.

Okay. Here we go. Yeah.

Yeah, that's it.

* Take off!

* To the Great White North!

* Take off!

* It's a beauty way to go

* Take off! *

* To the Great White North!

* Take off!

* It's a beauty way to go...

We're going to die here. This car's going to kill us.

Oh! Oh!

There's no use!

There's no controlling it!

Hey, uh, I'm Pablo.

Uh, what's your name?

Lacey!

Listen, we're- we're going to figure all of this out.

Why is this happening to me?!

Yeah, welcome to my world.

Busted!

Dude, there's a chainsaw in my backseat.

Yeah, that's mine.

What's it for?

Um... ice sculpture?

Oh.

And the shotgun?

Uh, that's mine too.

What's that for?

In case they don't pay for the ice sculpture.

Oh. Huh?

Yeah.

Wait. Oh, dude! No!

You passed it, man. Mammary's is the other way!

Oh, uh, no, no, no.

Chet, uh, hey,

I just remembered that, uh,

they had to close Mammary Lane down.

Huh? Yeah, asbestos in the poles.

Chicks were getting, uh, rashes on their hoochie-ma-kooters.

But hey, don't sweat it.

I got another place.

Hey Chet, uh, keep your eye out for the Delta, can you?

Yeah. On our way there?

Yeah.

*

Where are the guns at?

Impressive.

We weren't intending to stockpile an arsenal,

but you know what they say,

"When in Jacksonville..."

We got to move.

In the time we've wasted,

my spawn could have found the book.

And if they've already raised Baal--

What?

Every time you talk about this "Baal,"

you trail off, which is really annoying by the way,

but it makes me think that you're hiding something.

I'm not hiding anything.

It's just... Baal has a power over me.

And not just me, everyone.

Yeah, he's a demon. That makes sense.

He's not a typical demon.

Baal doesn't use brute force, he breeds paranoia.

He- he gets into people's psyches,

turning them against each other,

until they annihilate themselves.

Well, you sure can pick 'em.

I didn't pick him, that's the point.

He is seductive, and he's manipulative.

You just can't resist him.

And I'm afraid that if we do not get to my spawn

before they raise Baal,

I will not have the strength to fight him.

No, you just think that way

because you've been fighting alone for thousands of years.

But now you got me.

Okay?

I promise I will help you kill your spawn.

Just tell me what we need to do.

Oh my God, no!

What the fuck is that?!

No way.

You!

Shit!

Please make it stop! Please make it stop!

You okay?

Forget her, Pablo!

This is about you, and me!

What the hell is that thing?