Dry Martina

NETFLIX PRESENTS

Open the door! Please! Open up!

-Martina, you can't just leave like this! -Plaza Italia, please.

-Please, go back inside, Martina! -Please, please!

-God damn it, Martina! -Please! I came here from Chile!

What was that all about?

Nothing.

Do you need anything?

-Back off, Juan, back off. -Come on.

No, stop.

Come on, make an effort.

You're doing it wrong.

So it's my fault now?

Arenita.

Hi.

-Hi. -What's going on?

She rubs herself on everything all the time. She's horny all day long.

The other day, she humped my pillow until she came, get me?

She left it all wet. Everything's wet now.

How about you? How are you doing?

What's up?

Last night, I sang again.

Some of Mom's cover songs.

Actually, just one.

Half of one, really.

He made me sing again, and Mom's covers.

I'll have to kill Juan.

To make it worse, we tried to fuck and couldn't.

That's getting worse.

I've tried with really hot guys, everything.

There's nothing to do.

Nothing to do.

I'm not getting wet.

Your granddaughter is getting sterilized today.

I couldn't take it anymore. Either sterilize her or put her to sleep.

She'll be ready within three hours.

So today, you'll keep me company.

Is it done?

We had a problem.

If the cat is dead, I will burn this place down.

What if she escaped?

Juan. Drama.

Arenita is missing.

I need a poster, something that will draw attention in the street.

Make it colorful.

But pitiful, okay? Flamboyant but not so much.

I'll send you some pictures soon, and please hurry up.

Send them back to me ASAP.

Well, thank you for saying yes.

-Hey! How are you? - What do you want?

-We have to talk. -Go away, or I'll call the police.

I have your cat!

Hi. I'm Francisca.

Where is my cat?

Look, we were taking a nap in the park,

and we woke up to your cat being aroused by my pololo.

-What a shitty word. -Which one?

-"Pololo." -Well, actually, he's my ex-boyfriend.

-So, where is it? -At a bar.

The cat, honey. Where is the cat?

At a bar with my boyfriend.

-Why isn't it here? -Because we need to talk.

-What do we have to talk about? -About us.

But I'll tell you upstairs.

-In my place? -Yes.

-No. -It's important.

Do you like Chilean wine?

Mm.

I drink whisky. I don't drink wine.

You like San Juan and Chilean wine.

Bullshit.

Well, if I can't come up, forget the cat.

JULIANA GREATEST HITS

At least it's good.

In Chile, wine and Coke is called jote. It's gross.

I said just one glass. Go ahead, start talking.

Okay, but sit up straight.

Sit properly. It's important.

All right.

The thing is...

you and me are sisters.

-Where is my cat? -Look.

My dad lived in Buenos Aires in the '80s and had a bastard daughter.

One day, he started bragging about having had an affair with your mom,

and I didn't believe him because my dad is ugly, and Juliana is like--

-What? -Wow!

No, she's a regular woman.

There's a picture of them both, very cuddly, and you're actually in it.

But since I'm so stupid, I left it in Chile.

But we do look very much alike.

When we were kids, we looked the same.

And I wanted to ask you to come to Chile and clear this up.

- -Although I'm sure we are sisters.

Look.

Here's everything. My dad wrote this.

Our dad, actually.

Where is my cat?

Look, your mom and my dad had a thing, and you were born.

And my dad never knew.

Why don't you shove that book up your ass and get out?

-Okay, but chill. -I want you to leave.

Okay? Leave.

Can you put this in your mouth, please?

-What's that? -It's for a DNA test.

What DNA?

Go away.

I have to call my boyfriend so he can bring the cat.

Okay, call him. Go on.

How's this thing? Fifty-four--

Give me that. Give me the number.

-Come on. Please? -

Come on.

Give her the fucking cat back! We're going back to Chile!

-What about the game? -

What game? God damn it!

-She's been horny all day. -

Here.

Hey, you were amazing the other night.

In fact, I made up a verse.

Tell me.

But it's kinda corny.

Say it.

"Who needs you if we have your voice?"

-Corny. -I'm a corny guy.

A corny guy who walks away is an asshole.

What the fuck?

You should go back with me, not to a fucking soccer game.

I came to Argentina to watch the game. Fran, what the fuck?

Can it be earlier?

Tomorrow, I'll call the FIFA to arrange it so you can go back to Chile earlier.

You idiot!

-Fran, what the fuck? -Moron!

Hello, you corny son of a bitch.

Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm sorry. A guy called me yesterday.

A Chilean guy, from this number, and I wanted to--

But do you know where he is? Do you have a--?

So you lent your phone to a guy you don't know?

Okay. No. Bye.

I trust my vagina's natural reactions.

I've always been loyal to her.

All that medication, all those tests.

I needed just one look.

He's gorgeous, Dad.

You can't imagine how turned on I was.

I'm thinking about going to Chile just like that.

What do you say about that?

I don't understand. What does this mean? What is it?

Rodriguez, replacement in room six.

-What are you doing? -It's expensive to keep him like this.

Well, it's my money.

Besides, you can't just stand there listening to all I'm saying.

I'm sorry. The door was open and I came in.

He can't listen to you. Look at him.

Stay out of my life. My dad is mine.

MATTA CULTURAL CENTER CHILEAN EMBASSY IN ARGENTINA

-Good morning. -Hello.

I would like to see the registry of every Chilean

who has entered the country in the past week.

But this is a cultural center, miss. The embassy is around the corner.

-Oh. Would they have that? -I doubt it.

I believe you have to go to Argentinean Migration.

-Of course. I'm so stupid. -Nobody said that.

Besides, if I may,

I'd say that every Chilean who's entered the country this week

must be at the stadium right now.