Succession

Kendall, if the stock drops below 130,

you're in breach and we want our money back.

Can we start to negotiate?

I know that you said he wasn't great,

but I was passing by, so I thought I'd pop up.

I'm afraid that is out of the question.

No one apart from Marcia has seen him

for the better part of a week. Relax.

We don't want to rush the recovery.

Oh, right, 'cause you like playing boss?

You know my brother and I.

CEO and COO, and welcome Tom Wambsgans

who is now sitting up with the grown-ups.

Stock's gone below 130.

I've had an idea. You give me four billion dollars.

I stay boss, you invest for once in a blue chip corporation.

I'm going to need voting stock.

I'm also going to need a board seat.

Yeah, I wouldn't say that I'm the man, Mm-hmm.

But if there were a man, he might look a lot like me.

After you went down, the stock tanked.

You took a gamble on that loan.

But I found us a private equity solution.

You are a fucking idiot.

OK, that's right,

along the edge.

Good. That's good.

Don't patronize me.

Walking's not good. It's fuckin' normal.

I'm not. That is good, Mr. Roy.

I need to sit down.

Chair. Logan,

if you're not well enough for the charity dinner,

I maybe go with this handsome young man.

OK. Now,

this is a little trickier.

This is the proprioception.

That's side to side.

Turn it off. It's like being inside a fuckin' commercial.

There you go.

You turn it off yourself.

Come on.

Where the fuck's she goin'?

Thank you.

Rava, hey, did you decide yet

about tomorrow night? It's kind of a big night for me.

I'm making Dad's RECNY ball speech.

I just kind of assumed your "hopefully" was a "yes."

Are you serious?

GDP numbers that showed the US economy

maintained a brisk pace of growth

at a 2.8% annual rate.

How was L.A.? Great.

They're all fuckin' nuts, but great.

Can you get onto Lance about my speech?

And can we get one of the late night guys to,

you know, cook me up a bit? A bit?

Yeah, a bit. You know, a selection of jokes and riffs?

You're gonna do a joke?

What does that mean? I was fuckin' king of the Lampoon.

Kicked their distribution into shape.

I cleared your morning because... Who's that in my dad's...?

Because your dad wants to see you.

Guessing you didn't know that.

No, I didn't know. But, uh...

it's great news. Right?

Did you know? No, but it's great.

Sure. Oh, sure.

Shouldn't he have told you?

OK, uh, listen, I'll just, um...

get myself straight

and go and see the old... fuckin' goat.

OK.

You look good.

Uh, well, yeah. Well, thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Whoops. Uh, Grace, um...

OK, see, this is why your staying here doesn't work.

There are five bathrooms in this place, and you're here.

Why are you here? Like, right now I have to fart, and I'm not.

I'm physically not farting because you're here. OK.

I'm just feeling a little oppressed is all, OK?

Thank you.

Do you want me to speak to Connor and confirm table arrangements?

Uh-huh. We're hosting basically the same as last year,

plus Joyce and Daniel. Is that OK?

I didn't go last year, Shiv.

Yes, you did.

Remember we had that racist Belgian GS guy?

And his wife who wanted to kill herself?

Siobhan, I think I would remember

our first Roy Endowment Creative New York ball together.

I was trapped in Honk Kong, scoping out theme parks.

Really? Yeah. Honey,

growing up I used to look at the pictures of the RECNY

in Mom's "Vanity Fairs."

And now, a little boy from St. Paul's going,

with the most beautiful gal in the world.

Oh, what the fuck? What?

It's quite a haunting image,

isn't it? The eye almost seems to follow you around the room.

What is this?

You know, your client, the future senator? Apparently,

this is her husband's asshole.

What? Fuck off. Can you prove that?

He posted it himself with the caption: "Check out my asshole."

It was on a site called Filthy Rich.

Has everybody got it? Just us, I believe, right now.

Leaked to ATN. My buddy thought I'd be intrigued.

All right, well, bring it on.

Ooh, feisty.

What, they're not gonna run it?

It's dirty, it's weird,

and it's evidence of precisely the kind

of disgusting liberal metro butt-love

that makes our viewership angry enough to buy pharmaceuticals.

Oh, OK, fuck you very much. OK, well,

hate to be the bearer of bad news.

What do we call it, "an intimate part of his body"?

No! That sounds like his dick.

Or just his "anus"?

"Anus"? At breakfast?

That's a fucking juice-dropper.

"A very private part of his body."

It's boring. And she needs to get more sleep.

Karen. Yeah?

You sleepin' OK? I thought so.

Yeah? Are you sleeping on your face?

Boom! Ouch. I'm just kidding.

You look great. How about me, darling?

How do I look?

FIE, Mark. Fuckable in an emergency.

Now, if we don't call out this frigid little phony,

who will?

Yeah. Good.

Hey, Dad.

I didn't know you were coming in.

Did... Did Gerri?

Do I need permission?

Hey, come on. Screw you.

Just making sure you're not selling

any more of the company from under me.

Oh, you want to get into that?

You know, you put a hole in us

by taking on a shitload of debt.

But look, this is, uh...

it's great to see you.

Are you sure you're OK?

Maybe you should get a briefing and get some rest, yeah?

Yeah, OK.

Joseph!

Bring the wheelchair! I need to take a leak!

Hey. So, uh, Dad's back.

Back where? Back in the chair?

Seems kind of fast, right?

But, you know, it's good, obviously.

You'd love it if his brain fell out the back of his head.

Jesus. I'm just scared in case...

You're scared in case he tries to push you out

and your plans for, you know, Uber for news and Facebook for cats

and open plan office.

You want a dance platform jerkin' off idea gloop into...

think boxes.

I gotta go.

Roman. Good morning. Frank.

No, correction, it is not a good morning from my POV

because you're here and I fuckin' hate you.

Oh, come on, kid.

What the fuck is goin' on?

Your dad asked me to come back.

Oh, the fuckin'... The weasel prevails.

That'd be a good name for your autobiography,

if they did books by jerks.

God, you're pathetic.

He apologized. Sure, man. Yeah.

He didn't apologize when he hit our au pair with his car.

He wants me to show you the ropes.

"It was her fault for being too short," he said.

OK.

Nothing else? What do you mean?

I mean, in terms of what went up there.

Because first it's a finger, then it's a fist.

Then it's a dildo shaped like Richard Nixon.

Ohh. Fuck this!

A man wouldn't be getting this.

Mm-hmm.

Let's say that.

Yeah, agreed. Hundred percent.

But for us, now,

this isn't gonna go away,

so we need to be clear, we need to know the details.

I think you need to talk to your husband again.

It's not going away because ATN won't let it go away.

So I think you should talk to your father.

I just hope the seating plan holds.

If it does...

look out, Middle East,

'cause I can fix anything.

I just want you to know

you're the best damn bunch of people