Chicken Run

Shush!

I'm stuck!

Get back!

-- Mr Tweedy. -- Eh?

What is that chicken doing outside the fence?

Oh! (Chuckles ) I don't know, love.

Just deal with it. Now!

I'll teach you to make a fool out of me.

Let that be a lesson to the lot of ya!

NO chicken escapes from Tweedy's farm!

Oh!

Morning, Ginger. Back from holiday?

I wasn't on holiday, Babs. I was in solitary confinement.

Oh, it's nice to get a bit of time to yourself, isn't it?

Roll call!

Come along, now. You'll be late for parade.

Pip, pip. Quick march. Left, right, left, right.

Left, right, left, right!

-- Come on. Smarten up. -- Ooh!

Discipline! Order!

Back in my RAF days, when the officer called for a scramble,

you'd hop in the old crate and tally--ho. Chocks away!

Give over, you old fool. They just want to count us.

How dare you talk back to a senior ranking officer?

-- Why, back in my RAF days---- -- Fowler, they're coming.

-- Oh, right, right. -- Oh!

There will be a stern reprimand for you, lad. You're grounded.

Attention!

Welcome back, hen. Is there a new plan?

I thought we tried goin' under.

Ah! Over. Right.

How's the egg count?

I've laid five eggs this morning. Five!

-- Well--chuffed with that, I was---- -- Shush!

Oh, no. Edwina.

Bunty, why didn't you give her some of yours?

I would have. She didn't tell me. She didn't tell anyone.

Oh, is Edwina off on holiday?

We've got to get out of here.

Ginger! Are we still on?

Oh, we're on, all right.

Spread the word, Mac. Meeting tonight in hut 17.

Oh!

You called? Nick and----

-- Fetcher. -- At your service.

Over here.

We need some more things.

Right you are, miss. How about this quality handcrafted tea set?

Uh, no.

-- Or a lovely necklace and pendant? -- It's love----

Or this beautiful number,

all the rage in the fashionable chicken coops of Paree.

Simply pop it on like so,

and as the French hens say, "Voilà!"

That's French.

That's two hats in one, miss. For parties, for weddings.

Oh, but madame, this makes you look like a vision, like a dream.

-- Like a duck. -- No, thank you.

We're making this. We need THESE things. Can you get them?

Oh, oh, oh, this is a big job, miss.

Oh, bigger than the others. No, no. This is gonna cost.

Same as always. One bag of seed.

-- You call this pay? -- It's chicken feed.

-- What else could we give you? -- Eggs.

-- Eggs? -- Eggs.

We can't give you eggs. They're too valuable.

And so are we.

After you, Fetcher.

After I what?

-- Move! -- Ooh!

Hmm...

Twenty--two and nine.

Fourteen shillings and threepence.

Seven and sixpence times three.

Two and nine.

Fourpence ha'penny.

D--oh! Stupid, worthless creatures!

I'm sick and tired of making minuscule profits.

Hmm.

Hmm!

Oh, yes.

Those chickens are up to something.

Quiet. I'm onto something.

They're organised. I know it.

-- I said, quiet. -- That ginger one.

I reckon she's their leader.

Mr Tweedy!

I may finally have found a way to make us some real money here,

and what are you on about?

Ridiculous notions of escaping chickens.

But---- But----

It's all in your head, Mr Tweedy. Say it!

It's all in me head. It's all in me head.

Now, you keep telling yourself that,

because I don't want to hear another word about it.

-- Is that clear? -- Yes, love.

But you know that ginger one----

It's chickens, you dolt!

Apart from you, they're the most stupid creatures on this planet!

They don't plot, they don't scheme, and they are not organised.

Order! Order!

-- Quiet, everyone. Settle down. -- (Chattering)

I would like to call to order---- Please, if you could just----

Let's have some discipline in the ranks! What, what!

-- Thank you, Fowler. -- In my RAF day,

we were never allowed to waste time with unnecessary chit--chat.

Yes, thank you, Fowler.

I----

Right! (Chuckles, clears throat)

Carry on.

Now, I know our last escape attempt was a bit of a fiasco,

but Mac and I have come up with a brand--new plan.

-- Show 'em, Mac. -- Right.

We tried going under the wire and that didn't work.

So, the plan is...we go OVER it.

This is us, right?

We get in like this.

Wind her up and...let her go!

Good grief! The turnip's bought it!

Farmer's coming!

Operation Cover--up!

Whee!

Ouch!

Hmm.

Huh?

-- (Mrs Tweedy ) Mr Tweedy! -- Ooh. Ouch.

< -- Where are you? -- Ooh. It's all in your head.

It's all in your head. It's all in your head.

Think, everyone, think. What haven't we tried yet?

Uh----

We haven't tried NOT trying to escape.

Hmm. That might work.

What about Edwina?

How many more empty nests will it take?

Perhaps it wouldn't be empty

if she'd spent more time laying and less time escaping.

So laying eggs all your life...

and then getting plucked, stuffed and roasted is good enough?

It's a livin'.

You know what the problem is?

The fences aren't just round the farm. They're up here in your heads.

There's a better place out there, somewhere beyond that hill,

and it has wide open spaces and lots of trees...

and grass.

Can you imagine that? Cool, green grass.

-- Who feeds us? -- We feed ourselves.

-- Well, where's the farm? -- There is no farm.

-- Then where does the farmer live? -- There is no farmer, Babs.

-- Is he on holiday? -- He isn't anywhere.

Don't you get it?

There's no morning head count, no farmers, no dogs, coops and keys

and no fences.

In all my life I've never heard such a fantastic...

load of tripe!

Oh, face the facts, ducks.

The chances of us gettin' out of here are a million to one.

Then there's still a chance.

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. What am I doing?

Who are you trying to fool? You can't lead this bunch of----

Oh, heaven help us.

Freedoooom!

Huh?

Whoa!

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

You've been a wonderful audience.

-- Ouch! -- Oh, yes.

That's it! (Barking)

Get him inside quickly.

THIS is our way out of here.

We'll make posters?

No. What's ON the poster, Babs. What's ON the poster.

We'll fly out!

He must be important to have his picture taken. What does he do?

Isn't it obvious? He's a professional flying rooster.

He flies from farm to farm, giving demonstrations.

-- Do you suppose? -- Oh, absolutely.

Not in the dark, no. No, not in there. No.

Get out. Good. Gotta get----