Welcome Home, Brother! (Vitaj doma, brate!)

Thank you.

Yes, just a moment. I'll be there in a minute.

Make him a cup of coffee, will you?

Everything?

Yes, everything. An exclusive contract.

They want the film rights to all your books.

All of them?

Well, not all, but after the huge success of Love without home ,

they want to have the first claim.

Okay, Mia.

Thank you.

- Thank you. - Cheers!

- You know that I don't drink. - Oh, I forgot.

Mr. Hajdu, may I have your autograph, please?

Well, of course. Here you are.

- Who is it for? - Mia.

That's it.

That's enough, Mia.

Look...

We've done very well, I see.

Now, wait a moment!

You have to start working on a new book! Do you understand?

You're an international star, and we're going to make the most of it.

And they're really interested in what's in your head right now.

Oto... there's nothing.

I just wrote ten books one after the other.

I'm burned out, completely. I need rest.

And I want to start a family.

Well, just a moment. You can start your family, but you must write!

But, all right. You can have your rest. All right.

I have a friend that owns top apartments in Dubai. Consider it sorted.

I'd really prefer some sort of a countryside.

Maldives, perhaps?

WELCOME HOME!

Yes, the money is here. Watch where you're going!

You stripy fool!

What's the matter with you, woman?

Andža, where are you?

Hi, hero.

Do you have it?

Of course I have it! Here you are.

Good.

Andža, make sure they all vote!

They will. Cousins, brothers, sisters,

the children will as well.

Hello.

Hello, Rosy.

Damn it.

Should've sold it to the Gypsies, when I had the chance.

Oh, come on, what Gypsies! Get in! I'll push.

The clutch! You idiot!

I'm here.

Hey, Slobodan, you're just what we needed. Push!

Oh, what is it, boys? Did it croak?

You need a real man.

What's the problem now?

Push it yourself, if you're such a tough guy.

- What is it? Are you pushing? - I am!

It was right here!

Oh, damn it!

Hello, Ivan.

Hello.

Going to the elections tomorrow?

No.

They're all the same either way.

Did you know that ancient Greeks called people like you idiots?

What idiots?

It'll never get better here. I'm not going to vote, bro.

You're right. Anyway, we're already used to all of this.

It doesn't hurt that much any more, so why change? What for?

Well, for the better, perhaps?

So, I've heard she's got a boyfriend now?

Who?

Oh, well, yes, she has. All women do.

Don't tell me it still bothers you.

Haven't you realized yet, what women are really like?

Women are just like Serbian politics. Either way, no good.

- Not a step! - What?

Sit down by the door and I'll bring you a beer.

Don't you dare come in, in those muddy shoes!

It's enough that Fedor is here, and now I have to deal with you too.

They say, there'll be war again.

What war?

What war? The stupid against the clever, they say.

That war is everlasting.

Internet is to blame, it's the most powerful weapon of all.

So, if Hitler had the Internet, he would have won the war? Is that so?

But, do you understand, if Hitler won, we'd be living as Germans now.

Mmm, don't say that! And fuck, my great-granddad died in Auschwitz.

What happened? He fell from a watchtower?

Don't worry, boys, even if there's a war, it'll pass us by.

It doesn't know we're here.

No way there'll be a war. Because the clever are equally clever.

While each stupid person is stupid in their own way.

So they'll never unite against the clever.

You're right. That's right.

Let's go, folks. This round's on me.

Did we drink all we paid for?

- What are you doing? - You want to kill her?

She almost jumped under my car!

My love, what are you honking for! That's not how it's done!

Then they have to jump off the bike just to see what's going on.

Fine, but they should jump off towards the edge of the road, not into it.

Well, you must learn their ways. They surely won't learn yours!

I'll kill him. Motherfucker!

Lunch is ready!

- Could you pass the salt, please? - Tasty soup.

- Enjoy your meal. - Enjoy your meal.

Thank you.

Where did I go wrong?

Where did you go wrong? You've dragged a drunken idiot into our house.

I'll go fucking crazy!

Can't even eat in peace, this is not a family. This is worse than in a pigsty!

Bastard, you fucking bastard!

You drunken asshole! We're the Čáni family, don't you get it?

This is a respected family!

I'll skin you like a rabbit, you bastard.

You won't run away.

You're such a disgrace to my family, you pig.

Marinka!

Oh, welcome, welcome, so happy to see you.

- Oh, come, Marina, my dear. - I'm Ana.

Zoltán, lovely to meet you.

You must be hungry, come in.

Petrovac sausage.

Ours, homemade.

Thank you, Mrs. Ana, but I can't, really.

I'm a vegetarian.

Hi, Fedor.

Hi.

- So, he's a Hungarian, right? - Yes. A Hungarian. From Komarno.

Are we going to drag Hungarians into our home now?

Mind your tongue, you little stinker!

Or I'll get up and slap you so hard you'll be

flying around the village with bats for three days.

Are you nuts? What if they have kids? To mix Hungarian blood with ours?

If grandpa Čáni saw this, he would rise from his grave and kill you all like dogs.

Fedor!

Fedor, calm down, behave yourself. What will they think of us?

As we all know, Hungarians have always been a problem.

Listen, I have to tell you something!

He's very handsome.

He seems familiar to me too. Isn't he an actor or something?

A writer.

And that bass, well, he ordered it from New York.

You picked well! We'll keep this one.

If he were a guest, I'd just go to the Danube

and leave you to your "Hungarian time".

But he's not a guest. He came to get married!

Just like that drunken Serbian bastard! Have you all lost your minds?

Fedor!

Fine, fine, being a drunkard is considered normal around here.

All we needed was a Hungarian, they're worse than vampires!

Oh, fuck...

Oh, come in, Mr. Spevak. Take a look what's going on!

Karol? Are you at home? I need to have my boots mended.

Here I am, mate.

Come in, please.

Good afternoon.

Meet Zoltán.

- Marina's boyfriend from Slovakia. - Pleased to meet you.

Zoltán?

You couldn't be Zoltán Hajdu?

Yes, that's right. How did you know?

Oh, no, please, don't be like that. I just wrote a simple love story

about Slovak immigrants in America. And that's all.

But we were really touched by that book.

But why?

In Vojvodina, everybody read it. And they were all touched by it.

You wrote about the Slovaks who left their motherland.

But only about those who went to America.

Everybody read it and were really touched by it.

And yet not a single word about us.

But it was one of the dullest love stories I ever wrote.

And, besides, I wasn't aware you even existed.

When Catholicism spread around Slovakia,

our ancestors, Evangelists, refused to renounce their faith.

And then the Great Maria Theresa suggested that

people who refuse to convert should move

to Austria-Hungary, present-day Vojvodina, and become farmers.

And that way, they could keep their faith.

And in your book, not a single word about us.

People here think you're an ignorant.

You'll never be accepted.

Oh, no. That would be such a pity!

We'll have to think of something.

Zoltán should write a new book! About us!

And then send it to Hollywood. That's it!

Mum, please.

It's settled!

Yes? Hello, Bratina.

Say it. Say it.

Impossible.

It can't be.

Who? Are you sure?

Miki Hlaváč won the elections.

Holy crap!

But that's impossible.

Didn't you call everybody to call everybody

to tell them who they must vote for, or otherwise they'll get into trouble?