Diablero

Give me a break, Elvis. What's with the shabby suit?

What, dude? My suit's not shabby.

Our business needs more professionalism.

Grandma Eustolia used to say, "First impressions last forever."

She also said not to be a pompous dick, Elvis.8

I can't follow all of her advice. Besides, she was pretty senile.

So, back to business.

It's a type-two demon, dangerous, so get ready.

Elvis, explain the types to me, I never understood them.

Are two type-one demons equal to one type-two?

Look, Nance, this is an art, not a science.

You had them inside you, you know more than me.

It's like asking if I'd rather get run over by a truck or a bus.

So?

- It's the same thing... - Shut up already.

Can you try to look serious?

Who let you in?

Are you the diableros?

Elvis Infante.

Chief Diablero, and this is my crew.

Come in, this way.

No fucking way! That's Tinieblas, guys!

How do I look?

Like a washed-up soccer star.

It's Aluxe, it's like he's a different person.

He's like a wild beast, I don't know what to do.

No!

Don't say that. Not Aluxe, please.

I watched all his movies when I was a kid. I loved how he flailed his little arms!

Guys, this is personal.

I mean, it's Aluxe!

You should sit back,

have a drink,

relax.

- Enjoy the show. - Quick, please.

- I'll handle this myself. - Okay then.

Mm-hmm.

Well, good luck.

Brother, I'm Elvis Infante, you might remember me.

I wrote you a ton of letters when I was a kid.

I always included a cool drawing or two.

Fuck!

He'll handle it, right?

No!

Aren't you going to help him?

So, is there a Mrs. Tinieblas?

We have a fight in an hour, please!

What do you say?

Hands off!

A small bottle, fit for Aluxe.

What are you going to do with that?

Keep your hands off my pants!

- Yes. - Aluxe!

Please, don't bruise him up too much.

No fucking way!

Hang in there, Aluxe!

Okay...

I have good news and bad.

The bad news is Tinieblas didn't pay our full fee.

He said we roughed up Aluxe.

He won't be able to fight for two weeks.

Now, the good news.

I have Lucha libre tickets for next Sunday!

Plus, look.

They threw in an Aluxe doll. It's so cool.

Will you tell him, Keta? Or should I?

What's up?

- We quit. - We quit.

What? No way!

This is our first job in weeks.

Precisely, dude.

I want a regular job

with a steady paycheck, just like everyone else.

You don't want a normal job, Nancy!

Is this about the money?

Look, you can keep the money when we sell the demon.

You don't want to be normal. Tell her she doesn't, Keta.

I was saving these for a special occasion,

but this also feels right.

Look.

What do you think? Look, "Diableros," plural.

"Nancy Gama, the demons go inside her, not you."

"Keta Infante,

put the demons in our hands."

Boom!

- Isn't it a killer slogan? - Elvis, come on!

We've been together our whole lives.

Sorry, Elvis, me too.

- You can't look after me forever. - No one's looking after you, girl.

We look after each other, we're family!

No.

Come.

I love you, Diablero.

Come here.

Keta!

We'll still see each other, Elvicho, get over it.

Don't you even want a ride home?

What if the world needs us?

- You moron! - Relax, everything's fine, dude.

So, is the guy here already?

Beats me.

Do you have any reception?

No.

Maybe we should leave.

Lupe will fucking fire us if she finds out.

Hey, no one will miss a couple of vials.

We're talking about 20 grand here.

How much did you take, you junkie?

Show me your tongue.

I did take some, but it's cool, the buyer won't even notice.

If he ever shows up.

Okay, why don't you take a few drops?

Did you hear that?

It's a cat.

No, it's a baby.

Fuck, Rosa.

- What? - Dude, come on, this isn't our problem.

It's not like it's your baby.

Little one?

Where are you?

Screw it, I'm calling the cops.

- Jimena! - Really?

- Baby? - This isn't funny.

- Where's the cute baby? - Jimena?

Jimena?

There's nothing here!

- You jerk. - Nothing, there's no fucking baby...

Jimena!

Jime?

WELCOME EXCEPT FOR MINORS, WOMEN, AND DEMONS

Seven rattlesnakes,

two sandals, one pool, and a raccoon.

Seven rattlesnakes,

two sandals, one pool, and a raccoon.

What the hell?

For fuck's sake!

Thank you!

WELCOME EXCEPT FOR MINORS, WOMEN, AND DEMONS

What's up?

Hang on a sec.

Thalía.

Lazy broad! Where are the beers for table four?

- Is she lazying about? - Always, you know.

What can I get you?

Beer? Mezcal?

What's up, Uncle Elvis?

- You sneaky brat. - What?

Hey, girls.

Are you ever planning on fixing the busted-up old hag upstairs?

- She sounds like shit. - Mrs. Procopia?

That's strange, the hag just got oiled up.

- Move it! Get table five their moonshine. - I'll give you a shine!

Add it to my tab.

I

Seriously, Isaac?

For real?

Demonic arm-wrestling?

You're better than that, man.

I have no choice. Business is slow.

No one cares about demon fights since they got leaked online.

#LoveMyJob

Times are changing, Elvis.

- Diableros like us belong to the past. - Don't say that, man.

We still help a ton of people, tons.

People don't want our help.

They're happy with their demons.

Just accept it, man.

Why don't we partner up again?

We had so much fun hunting demons.

You must be fucking lonely if you want us to partner up again.

The streets aren't my thing, man.

I put all my money in this joint. It's all I have left.

I'm fine here.

You should get yourself a girlfriend, Elvis.

How's Keta, by the way? She's not returning my calls.

Mine either, the bitch.

- Watch your mouth! - She's my sister.

We're looking for a diablero.

A diablero?

Telésforo, customers!

Telésforo hauls crates at the market.

He's our best guy.

I'm a diablera too. I'll stick a demon up your ass.

Female diableras, just what I needed.

I'm looking for Elvis Infante.

That would be me.

Easy, guys, it's fine.

Elvis Infante.

They're new, fresh off the press.

The satin finish is lovely, right?

I mean, not as much as you guys.

I had to change the number, someone named Carmen kept answering.

Come with us.

My boss wants to see you.

We'll talk business some other time.

There you go, drooling after the Spice Girls.

You know what it's like.

Okay, moron.

Hey, can I look now?