The Healing Powers of Dude

Maybe I should walk in with him.

Why don't you carry him in like a baby and give him a pacifier, Dad?

Everyone relax. We've been prepping for this all summer,

and Dr. Castanov said that he was totally ready.

It's just hard to let go after homeschooling for two years.

The student has now become the...

- Well, I guess he's still a student. - Here's a wild idea.

Why don't we just ask Noah how he's feeling?

I'm feeling...

mostly worried I'm gonna make a big fool of myself

in front of all those kids.

But otherwise ready to get out there

and make some friends that aren't you guys.

- No offense. - Some taken.

Okay, this is my "everything's fine,

and I don't have social anxiety disorder" face.

That bad?

- Not at all. - No.

Never do it again.

Okay, well, I should go.

Wait. Here's a map to homeroom that I drew for you.

Whoa.

Thanks for making me so... buff.

Also, don't forget to repeat the mantra.

This is going great. Nobody's looking at my weird-shaped head.

Definitely won't be saying that.

When you feel a panic attack coming on just take deep breaths like this...

I guess I'll see you guys after school at Grandma's cafe.

We love you...

This much!

This is going great.

Nobody's looking at my weird-shaped--

Ach, Embry.

Okay. First step...

get inside school.

Second step...

find my homeroom.

Deep breaths.

- You can do this. - Excuse me?

You're blocking my way.

Oh, uh, I, uh...

I...

No, no, no.

No, you won't move out of my way?

Is something wrong with your head?

Oh, man, you think my head is shaped weird?

Seems normal-shaped to me.

I mean, I guess your forehead's kind of long.

I can't do this.

Just a girl in a wheelchair trying to get an education.

How's he doing?

He hasn't wanted to talk much.

So we've been giving him some space.

I was thinking, maybe we should go back to homeschooling.

I've recently perfected this Adam Sandler impression,

which I think will liven up math a little bit.

"Three hundred divided by 15

equals zippity-doo."

Yeah, that's not helpful.

Hey, kiddo.

We knew this morning wasn't gonna be a walk in the park.

To be fair, he's also afraid of walks in the park.

- Only when it's crowded. - Don't you have a play date to go to?

Yeah. I'm teaching the neighbor kid how to accessorize.

He thinks plain Band-Aids are a fashion statement. Don't wait up.

We have to consider the other option that Dr. Castanov suggested.

I already said no. I'm not an emotional-support dog kind of guy.

Well, I didn't think that I was a French tuck kind of guy

until Embry suggested it, and look at me now.

Sweetie, we promise we'll find you the best emotional-support dog out there.

This is the best emotional-support dog out there?

Aw, all dogs do that.

Maybe not that much.

Dr. Castanov said Dude came from a highly renowned service-dog school.

I'm sure that he will hit the ground running.

Um...

- Whoops. - Dude, you are hopeless. Uhh.

- - So I wasn't cut out to be a service dog,

but they thought I could handle being an emotional-support dog.

How hard can this be?

I let you pet me when you're feeling down, you give me treats.

Please tell me you have treats.

Hey, kiddo. My gut is telling me that Dude is the answer.

And you know what I always say about my gut.

- That it can't handle dairy? - Yes.

But also that it's never wrong.

Just remember to pet Dude.

Let him give you kisses whenever you're feeling anxious.

Not sure I want that tongue anywhere near me.

That's the spirit.

Schmancy. I bet they serve some gourmet lunches up in this joint,

like mac and cheese with peas in it.

Okay. I can do this.

Can't go worse than yesterday. Right?

Uh, what happened yesterday?

Can only get better. Nothing bad's gonna happen to my head.

Uh, you're starting to really freak me out about yesterday.

First step... get inside school.

Whoa.

This is it.

That's all you were worried about? Hah. I knew I could handle this job.

- They're inside. - Yeah.

I'm so proud of him.

I didn't even need to take the day off of work.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Noah could come barreling out of there at any moment, which is why...

- Are you serious? - This is all the standard stakeout...

- - ...stuff.

Right, 'cause cops are always giving each other back massages.

Gross, no.

Whoa. Cool dog.

Hey. Can I pet him?

Wow, he's so soft.

What's his name? My name's Simon, but everyone just calls me Turbo.

Yikes. Everyone must hate you.

No, wait. I take it back. Keep scratching.

So, you a sixth-grader, too?

I didn't know middle school was so huge.

I got lost on the way to the cafeteria and had to eat a pack of gum for lunch.

Between us, I heard the only way to survive

is to start a fight with the biggest eighth-grader.

What a cutie.

It's just kids being friendly.

It's okay. Nothing bad is happening.

Uh, did you say something?

Too many kids.

Do any of you guys have treats? I'm worried this one doesn't.

Okay, everyone move back. Move back, please.

Mr. Ferris.

Let's go to my office.

Now...

Noah, I need to confess something.

I'm... more of a cat person.

This is my prized Scottish Fold-- Lord Dingwall.

So...

- cute. - He looks like he eats his own poop.

Anywho, when your parents called and told me

you'd be bringing in an emotional-support...

dog...

Uh-- hah--

my first reaction was, "No!"

But then I did a soothing grapefruit face mask...

and decided to compile a list of rules for Dude-y.

Dude.

Mm. Wonder how he got that... fun name.

Dude.

Dude.

Dude.

Yeah, that was just a phase.

Anywho... rule one, no peeing on school property.

Rule two, no barking. Rule 3, no growl--

Um, exactly how many rules are there?

Fifty-three.

Rule four, slobber shall remain inside dog's mouth at all times.

Rule five, no jumping. That's a good one. Rule six, no running.

- Rule seven, dog shall... -

Principal...

- - Rule eight, if dogs are mentioned,

cats must also be mentioned in the next sentence.

Noah, bud, are you... you feeling okay?

Ruh-roh.

If you're gonna throw up, just aim away from-- Oh.

What do you want, Embry?

Your room 'cause it's bigger. Mom to stop wearing leggings.

I just wanted to see how school went.

Aw, kid. Read the vibe.

I was trapped by zombie kids and threw up on the principal.

Honestly, that's much better than I thought it would go.

Well, thanks for stopping by.

You did say you wanted to make friends.

Not that many at once.

I can try to tone down the charm.

Who am I kidding? That's impossible.

Will someone help me get the peanut butter out of the doggy torture device?

You know, I think I may have a way to help you blend in.

How?

Get this kid off of me.

What do you think?

I've decided to start a fancy clothing line for dogs.

Take that off him now.

I just don't want you to give up yet.

I'm not.

Don't worry. I'll come up with my own plan.

Man, if the boys could see me now...

Coming in early was definitely the right move.

Hey, smells like cheese in here.

Oh, wait. That's me.

Dude, we practiced this.

Settle down.

Hey, dog guy.

Wait, Wait up.

Not today, Turbo.

- I think we lost him. - Well, what are the odds?

I'm in here doing some extra credit.

Yeah, that's right.

It's day three, and I'm already doing extra credit.

And look who comes barging in.

The kid who refused to get out of my way.

Are you sure it was me? I have very generic features.

Hello. Can I come out now? I'm getting tangled in here.