Major Crimes

Major Crimes - 04x04 - Turn Down

Hey, Buzz.

"Hey, Buzz"? That's it?

Did you get a haircut? Looks great.

Ah!

I can't believe you guys. Oh, my god.

Thanks, Detective. Thank you.

Thanks. You're so sweet.

Oh, my gosh. Thanks. Thank you. Wow.

This... this is fantastic. Thank you, all.

So, Buzz, how does it feel?

I'm a little nervous, but I hope I'm prepared for the night.

Reserve Officer Watson. Mike, take a picture.

Mm. Oh!

Selfie time.

Yeah.

- Okay. - It was thoughtful of you

to take Buzz on his first ride-along.

Yeah, well, hopefully I'm not so tired

that I fall asleep during the fireworks

at tomorrow night's game.

Well, you'll probably be kept awake

by everyone thanking you for the dugout seats.

No, not me. It was Nicole.

- You know, I'm so proud of my daughter. - Mm-hmm.

And this was a nice gesture on the part of her boss.

Well, she earned it.

Don't tease Buzz too much tonight.

- Please. - I wouldn't dream of it.

Okay, future Chief of Police, Officer Buzz Watson,

it is time for our tour of duty.

All right, I'm sorry I'm late. These damn shoes!

What the...

You... you're not taking your first ride-along with him?

You acted like you didn't wanna go.

Well, of course I don't want to.

Did I say I wouldn't?

You want to explain to me how Reserve Officer Buzz Watson

gets the Batmobile

while we still drive a car from the '90s?

It's not for me, Lieutenant.

The entire L.A.P.D. is moving toward this vehicle.

Aah!

Do you want some help, sir?

Did I ask for your help?

All right.

Here we go.

This is an illegal assembly.

You must disperse.

You want me to drive, sir?!

27, I've got both the victim

and the suspect here.

What now?

- W-what's that sound? - Incoming call.

Use the integrated tactile sensor to acknowledge it.

The tic-tac-toe-what?

- W-where? This? - Caution. Warning.

System overload.

Warning. Warning.

You know, Buzz,

at the end of this ride-along,

I rate you based almost entirely on my mood.

7851, a family dispute.

Domestic disturbance. The Morris Grand Hotel.

You hear that, Provenza?

- Morris Grand. - Two blocks from Feinman's Deli.

You know, Buzz, the most important decision

you have to make on patrol? Where to eat dinner.

Morris Grand Hotel, here we come.

Hey.

Hey, that van is in our space. Get it out of here.

Sorry, I can't. The driver took off with the keys.

Uh, Lieutenant...

When addressing the public,

L.A.P.D. policy requires us to be considerate, polite...

Thrifty, loyal, brave. Yeah, we know.

Listen, Mr. Boy Scout, you are here to learn from us,

not vice versa.

You know, just because you know how to drive

some tricked-out Explorer does not make you a cop.

This way.

One time, wouldn't it be great

- to wake up without having you all over... - Buzz, what are you doing?

Reviewing guidelines for defusing spousal confrontations.

We're supposed to use deflection,

redirection, and empathy.

Job one... calm everybody down.

- L.A.P.D.! Open up! - Are you paying attention?!

Oh, ho. Fantastic.

Would you look at this? It's the cops.

Thank you, Janet!

- Oh, like it's my fault they're here?! - Excuse me.

- You have been screaming at me... - No, it's my fault!

- For the last two hours! - It's my fault. It's always my fault!

Excuse me! We have received a complaint about your argument.

I am Officer Watson of the L.A.P.D.

And I need you to please step away from each other.

Oh, for God's sakes.

Take a deep breath...

And give me your names.

Hi there, Officer Watson. I'm Stu Sloan.

- And this psychotic, narcissistic... - Psychotic? I'm psychotic?

Bitch is my wife Janet.

I've been trying to get you in therapy for 10 years, but no!

- Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Sloan! - See? This is her every day.

If we could please just go back to the beginning of the argument.

You mean when she first flew up here on her broomstick?

- That's a long time ago. - My broomstick. Oh, that's rich,

you petty, ignorant, money-grubbing son of a...

- All right, that is enough! - Oh, money... one time...

In 40 years, I've never dealt

with such a pair of ugly, spoiled brats.

Uh... E-excuse me?

Do either of you give a rat's ass

about the other guests in this crappy hotel?

"Crappy hotel"? You wanna know how much

a room costs in this "crappy hotel"?

400 bucks is the cheapest you can get...

Okay! All right! Crappy hotel!

- Now, did he hit you, lady? - What?

Did either one of you lowlifes smack each other?

- What? Lowlifes? - Did he just call us lowlifes?

We are not lowlifes. And no, we never hit each other.

What do you think we are? Savages?

Then shut the hell up and stay away from each other.

Or we're hauling you off to jail. You got it?

Hey, hey, hey. You can't talk to us like that.

- You don't just come walking in here... - He said shut up!

Now, if I hear another word from either one of you,

you're both under arrest.

You can be just as hateful to each other in a whisper.

We're gonna stand outside in the hallway for a while

and see how you do.

Jerks.

Oh!

The L.A.P.D. hopes you can settle your differences.

If you want any advice on domestic conflict resolution,

please g...

Officer Watson!

Excuse me.

Look at this. You put a badge on these jackasses,

- and this is what they turn into. - We are gonna get a damn lawsuit against them.

They don't have any right to come here and talk to me

- like that! - See, Buzz,

one of the things that Flynn and I have learned

from our combined 70 years on the job is,

get them to focus on hating you

so that they will forget about how much they hate each other.

But we're supposed to ask how the fight started.

Trust me, Buzz.

That argument began with the words "I do."

I mean, all fights between husbands and wives

begin with a few basic phrases,

like "you don't listen." "You're too cheap."

"You can't drive." "Your mother hates me."

"Where do you think you're going dressed like that?"

"How could you forget my birthday?"

- "Would it kill you to ask for directions?" - Se琚縭a? Se琚縭a?

"Would it kill you not to sleep with the babysitter?"

She's fainted. I better call an ambulance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No. No, Buzz.

Remember, the first rule of policing...

Avoid paperwork.

Look. Look, she's coming to.

Cuando note que

la Puerta del ba estaba abierta.

She says she was doing the turndown service

when she saw that the bathroom door was open. q??

Mire un poco mcerca

y estaba El cuerpo de un hombre en la baa!

Oh, my gosh. There's a body in the tub.

Why do people have to die on a holiday weekend? Why?

Oh, no. He's dead.

Well, that he is.

Huh, looky here. All these little bottles of booze.

You're lucky, Buzz.

When you compare notes

with the other reserve officers tomorrow,

you'll definitely have the best story.

Suicide note?

More like the world's worst greeting card.

"A love like ours must have been fated,

even when it's so belated."

Pour a bath 'cause I'm frustrated.

Gonna drown myself, uh...

while I'm sedated.

Where's Buzz?

And we found the body under suspicious circumstances, sir.

What suspicious circumstances? Who's he talking to?

Buzz, are you on with your watch commander?

Buzz, Buzz, don't say "suspicious circumstances."

Because if you say suspicious circumstances...

Look what I found on the dresser.

Yes, sir. Will do.

First, the hair dryer in the bathroom was extremely wet.

Well, maybe he electrocuted himself.

Then returned it to its place on the counter

and got back in the tub?

Plus, the name on the card you're holding? It's Sloan!

Same name as the couple arguing down the hall.