Wellington Paranormal

Who's the, deceased, Sarge?

Well, this may shock you.

I didn't even know we had a morgue in here.

Who's this poor guy?

Does that mean I'm dead? Am I a ghost?

No, of course not, Minogue. Obviously you're not dead, Minogue, and you're not a ghost, OK?

Do you have a twin? No, I'd remember something like that.

You'd better show them.

That's weird?

I've never... I've never seen anything like that in my life.

This is a far-out-there theory, so maybe not for your ears.

If you could... Please. Thank you.

Maybe this is Minogue from the future,

and he's traveled back to the present, but he died.

What happened to my thingy in the future?

Well, that's what we need to find out.

Looks like a quiet town. Yeah.

Hard to believe that anything out of the ordinary would happen out here -

but then, I guess, it's sometimes the less-suspecting places where the weirdest stuff happens, isn't it?

I suspect it's the most-suspecting places where it happens.

So, we're here to question the proprietor of the local dairy,

before we head to the spot where the corpse resembling Minogue was found.

Although it didn't exactly resemble me, did it?

It sort of vaguely looked like me - sorta like a deader version of me.

But we're just gonna pop in here and have a chat to the owner, see what he can tell us, urn,

about the corpse that resembled me, just to see what he knows.

Urn, I guess while we're here, we could also double this up as lunch or sort of a morning tea situation.

We could both- I thought your brother Adam made your lunch today.

Hello there.

Gidday, mate. Hi, sir.

Have... Have we met before?

Met before? Yeah. Have I met you before?

He looks really familiar. I think I'd remember those eyes.

OK. Um, look, sir, this might sound a little bit odd,

but did you happen to serve a police officer in here yesterday who looked very much like my partner here?

So, did you see anything?

A police officer that looked quite a bit like my partner here?

In fact, exactly like him?

Minogue, we're supposed to be investigating, not buying food.

So you didn't see a police officer who looked just like this?

You are one of the many.

Sorry, wh-? One of the many what? You must go to the motel.

No, we're not gonna stay here,

I don't think, mate. There you will find the answers that you seek.

Do you know your food's quite dusty?

I'm pretty sure all of it is at least a year old.

Look, um, sir, if you do happen to remember serving a police officer,

um, please just give me a call on this number.

Thank you. Yeah. Thanks, mate.

Keep an eye out for Maisey? We're not here to investigate cows, Minogue.

No, I know, but there's a $700 reward, so...

little bit of pocket money? We'll keep an eye out.

Look out for a cow with blue earrings.

I'm sure I've met that guy before. And what was with that 'go to the motel' business?

Yeah, well, maybe he's just promoting local businesses. He's doin' a good job.

Tell you what, the food was dusty, though. It was gross.

Some of it was so old, it didn't even have an expiry date on it. Yeah, it's interesting, though.

I mean, what d'you reckon it means? I'll tell you what it means.

It means I'm gonna have to eat this salad that my brother, Adam, made for me.

I mean, can you call it a salad when it's just leaves? I mean, that's just lettuce leaves.

Gross. What?

It's got a slug in it. I hate slugs.

Yeah, well, don't waste it. I mean, just eat around it.

So, we're here where the body of the deceased was found.

As you can see, the outline of the deceased Minogue

is in fact the exact same size as the, um...

as the live Minogue is now. It's a perfect fit, O'Leary.

You're not supposed to be in there. Nah, it feels weird.

But you walk down the street, you would think that was me.

Wouldn't you? If you saw that, you'd go, 'Minogue.'

Straight away. I'm not sure that- No, not necessarily.

Um, I mean, it was just uncanny that it was exactly the right...

Uncanny. Yep.

Look. Reckon that could be the motel that guy was talking about.

Well, surely there's not more than one out here. Wouldn't have thought so,

nah, not here. I mean, it certainly does seem like a rather peculiar place.

I mean, seeing the chalk outline itself is- is rather strange.

It's not the sort of thing that we would do in the city, um, in our policing. Is it?

No. Well, it's considered vandalism. It's strictly prohibited.

That's- It's only chalk, though, isn't it?

Well, that's what I said, um, but they didn't wanna hear it...

...and I spent three days in the cells.

What?

What? My hat.

Slug's back. Look.

On my hat. Well, just flick... flick it off.

The slug's off now. If that comes in the car... Look, it's fine. The slug's off.

Those guys are watching.

Do you promise to-? Open the doors, Minogue. Do you promise-?

Are slugs part of the worm family, or are they just snails

that don't have shells? Well, no, they're... slugs.

Yeah, I know they're slugs, but I guess my question is -

do we need to have slugs when we've already got snails?

I'll google it.

Do you realise how amazing those things are?

Do I? It's a muscular foot.

How much do you need a muscular foot?

Well, if you've only got that as your whole body, I'd say quite a lot.

If you saw a big enormous foot going down the road,

would you think that was great or gross?

I'd think it was interesting. It'd be interesting -

Yeah, so there you go. once.

Why only once? We don't need millions of them around the place.

Well, that- One of them in a zoo, and that's it.

We could see a documentary on it and leave it at that.

Minogue? What? I'm reading about slugs.

It's quite interesting. See, I didn't realise that slugs actually have green blood.

O'Leary. Minogue, I - I thought you were staying in the car.

Classic O'Leary.

How did you get in here before me?

Interesting.

It says, 'Slug, or land slug, is a common name

'for any apparently shell-less terrestrial gastropod mollusc.'

Wonder how they all lost their shells. Sad, really.

Certainly not optimal. just part of the job. Well, I guess so.

Still, if they had a shell, they'd seem less gross. I can't touch them.

Certainly not optimal. Just part of the job.

It's not optimal, certainly.

You OK, O'Leary?

Where's our car going? Well, you took off with it.

I was telling you some interesting facts about slugs,

and then you turned around and looked at me with your pus-y face,

and then I got out, and now I'm here. What'd you do that for?

N- Well, no, cos it wasn't me.

Well, I just met a copy of you that wasn't dead.

I think we've stumbled across some sort of cloning scenario. There are exact copies of us here.

What did the exact copy of me look like? Well, looked like you.

Handsome? Kinda like a, you know, constantly surprised Edmund Hillary. Like...

But how do they know what we look like? I've never been to this town before,

and I haven't got any friends that do cloning that I know of.

Maybe it's some sort of Jurassic Park situation, and they've got our DNA?

They're makin' an army of supercops,

and they're usin' us as the blueprint.

Can you close that? They're really tricky.

Kia ora. Sergeant Maaka speaking.

- Kia ora, Sarge. It's O'Leary here, from work. - Say gidday from me.

O'Leary. How's it going over there? Good. Um, Minogue says hi.

Um, it's actually pretty... pretty peculiar here.

We've identified some people that look exactly like us, and-

Tell him my theory. Hang on a sec.

And to some degree, they behave like us too..

Tell him my theory.

What? My theory about the...

Yeah. Um, so, Minogue does have a theory.

Um, he thinks potentially they've used our DNA to make an army of supercops.

You gotta go up. Sell it. 'Supercops!' Su-Super cops.

What, from you two?

Apprehend those clones and bring them into the station.

Yeah, bringing them back's gonna be a little bit, um... bit tricky,

just because, um, they have- See that?

What? See that? No, I didn't.

They have actually taken our patrol vehicle.

OK. I'll be there as soon as I can, OK?

Copy that. Sarge out.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11... Minogue-

...12,13,14,15,16,17,18... Minogue, what are you doing?

Look, I know there's one of the you's in here, so why don't we just arrest that one?

Well, I sort of feel like we should arrest the you, because you were the one that stole the car.

Yeah, but she's gone in the car...

...so why don't we just arrest this one over-? OK.

You kinda look like... Not optimal. Not optimal. Not optimal.

...her. Classic O'Leary. Not optimal.

They're the originals. Copy that. Classic O'Leary.

They must be detained. They must be detained. Classic O'Leary. Copy that.

They said they're gonna detain us. Right, we've gotta arrest one of them.

Not optimal. Not optimal. I'm gonna arrest the me's; you arrest the you's.

Minogue, you're under arrest for impersonating Minogue.

Requesting assistance! Get it off, O'Leary!

I'm trying! It won't move! Get it off!

Go that way, that way, that way. That way, go! Go!

You all right? That is assaulting a police officer.

Yeah, well, it wasn't me. No, I know it wasn't you. It was the alien.

It was the clone in my name. It wasn't me. I know.

They are disrespecting the uniform... Yeah.

...and that was completely unsafe. And you -they were disrespecting you,

and he was disrespecting the relationship that we've got... I know. It's outrageous.

...because you might be mad at me now.

They are the originals. They must be detained. Copy that.

What? Copy that. Not optimal.

- Listen, O'Leary. Travelling. - Copy that.

Travelling! Travelling! What's your assessment, O'Leary?

I think we should run. Run. Run! Copy that. Copy that.

Travelling!

Come on, come on. Come on! Come in. Quick, shut the door. Shut the door!

Can't believe I lost my cuffs. Don't worry.

You can get another pair. Well, it comes out of my pay. That's the third time that's happened.

I'm gonna start wearing them now so I don't lose them.

Look, here's what we're gonna do, OK? I'm gonna write an M on your forehead;

you write an O on mine. That way, if we get split up, we'll know who the real us are, OK?

M for 'me', O for 'other copy'. Minogue, O'Leary. Copy.

There you go.