The History Boys

The peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and minds

in the knowledge and love of God and of His Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord,

and the blessing of God Almighty.

The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit

be upon you and remain with you, this day and always. Amen.

Will that do the trick, do you think?

We're about to find out.

Jimmy!

- Ready? - Ready.

Mum, please. Lads, wait.

Just get in the car. I'll be back in five minutes.

Let's get it over with.

Fiona, Fiona!

Read out from the top. Fiona, just read it out. Let's see.

Three A's! I got three A's! Three A's!

- Chris, what did you get, man? - Full house!

Three A's! Three A's!

- Told you you would. - Full house!

- Hey, what did you get? - Er, A and two B's.

- Hey, it's Dakin. - Stuuuuhoooo...

Stu, what happened?

- Are you not gonna look? - I got mine last night.

- I bet you did. - You jammy sod.

- Lockwood. - Felix.

- Lockwood. - Sir.

Why are you dressed as a milkman?

- Working, sir. For the 'olidays. - As a milkman?

After the holidays you'll be coming back to try for Oxford and Cambridge.

Your A-level results are the best we've ever had,

and they demand that you return for an extra term

to work for the examination to our ancient universities.

One more term, boys. One more push.

In the meantime, try and do something... fitting.

- I'm in a bookshop, sir. - Good, good.

- I'm on the bins. - I'm a bouncer, sir.

- Lavatory attendant, sir. - Gigolo.

- Congratulations, boys. - Mrs. Lintott!

Three A's! Three A's!

So, we shall be meeting again after all.

- Yes, sir. - At school you don't get parole.

Good behavior just brings a longer sentence.

- Ah, you poor boys. - See you next term, sir.

Thank you, Miss.

"The happiest youth, viewing his progress through,

What perils past, what crosses to ensue,

Would shut the book and sit him down and die."

Congratulations, Dorothy. You must be very pleased.

Morning!

You are entitled, though only for five minutes, Dakin,

to feel pleased with yourselves.

No one has done as well. Not in English, not in science,

not even, dare I say it, in media studies.

And you alone are up for Oxford and Cambridge.

So, to work. First essay this term will be the Church on the eve of the Reformation.

- Not again, Miss. - This is Oxford and Cambridge.

You don't just need to know it, you need to know it backwards, Timms.

Facts, facts, facts.

They're clever, but they're crass.

And were it Bristol or York, I'd have no worries.

But Oxford and Cambridge?

We need a strategy, Dorothy, a game plan.

- They know their stuff. - But they lack flair.

Culture they can get from Hector.

History from you, but...

I'm thinking aloud now.

Is there something else?

Think charm, think polish.

Think... Renaissance man.

Leave it with me, Dorothy, leave it with me.

Yes, Headmaster.

Wilkes.

Ah, yes. An innovation to the timetable.

- PE. - Yes, Headmaster.

For the Oxbridge set. "Surely not", you say. But why not?

This is the biggest hurdle of their lives and I want them... galvanized.

Galvanized. Yes, Headmaster.

In the timetable, our esteemed headmaster

has given these periods the dubious title of "general studies".

I will let you into a little secret, boys.

There is no such thing as general studies.

General studies is a waste of time.

Knowledge is not general, it is specific.

And nothing to do with getting on.

But remember, open quotation marks, "All knowledge is precious

whether or not it serves the slightest human use", close quotation marks.

Who said, Akhtar? Timms?

Lockwood, Dakin?

"Loveliest of trees, the cherry now..."

- A Housman, sir. - "AE Housman, sir."

Wasn't he a nancy, sir?

Foul, festering, grubby-minded little trollop.

- Do not use that word. - But you use it, sir.

I do, sir, I know. But I am far gone in age and decrepitude.

Er, you're not supposed to hit us, sir. We could report you.

I know, I know.

You should treat us with more respect. We're scholarship candidates now, sir.

We're all going in for Oxford and Cambridge.

Oxford and Cambridge! What for?

Old, sir. Tried and tested.

No! It's because other boys want to go there.

It's the hot ticket, standing room only.

- Where did you go, sir? - I went to Sheffield.

I was happy!

"Happy is England, sweet her artless daughters;

Enough her simple loveliness for me." Keats.

We won't be examined on that, will we, sir?

- Keats? - Happiness.

- You are? - Irwin.

- Irwin? - The temporary contract teacher.

Quite so.

The examinations are at the end of term,

which gives us, er... three months, at the outside.

- You were at Cambridge. You know the form. - Oxford. Jesus.

You see... I-I thought of going.

But this was the... the '50s.

Change was in the air, and a spirit of adventure.

So, where did you go?

I was a geographer. I went to Hull.

They're a likely lot, the boys. Erm, erm...

All keen. One oddity - Rudge.

Determined to try for Oxford. Christ Church, of all places.

No hope. No.

Might get into Loughborough, in a bad year.

Er... otherwise, all bright.

But they need polish.

Edge. Your job.

We're low in the league.

I want to see us up there with Manchester Grammar School, Haberdasher Askes,

Leighton Park.

Or is that an open prison?

No matter.

There is a vacancy, in history.

That's very true.

In the school.

Ah.

Get me scholarships, Irwin.

Pull us up the table and it's yours.

I-I'm corseted by the curriculum.

But I can find you, er... three lessons a week.

- Not enough. - Yes, I agree. However...

I think I know where we can filch an hour.

O voudriez-vous travailler cet apr s-midi?

Je voudrais travailler dans une maison de passe.

- Oh l l ! - Qu'est-ce que c'est?

- A brothel. - Ah!

He'd like to work in a brothel.

Tr s bien.

Mais une maison de passe

o tous les clients utilizent le subjonctif ou le conditionnel.

Bien.

- D'accord, monsieur. - Voil .

Voil .

D j un client.

- Bonjour, monsieur. - Bonjour, ch rie.

Entrez, s'il vous pla t. Voil votre lit.

- Et voici votre prostitu e. - Oh l l !

Je veux m' tendre sur le lit.

Je voudrais. "I would like to stretch out on the bed,"

in the conditional or the subjunctive.

Continuez, mes enfants.

Mais les chaussures, monsieur. Pas sur le lit.

Oh! Excusez-moi, mademoiselle, excusez-moi.

Et votre pantalon, s'il vous pla t.

- Come on! Sir... - Sir! Sir!

Oh! Quelles belles jambes!

Et maintenant-Claudine.

Oui. La prostitu e, s'il vous pla t.

- A quel prix? - Dix francs.

Dix francs. Pour dix francs, je peux vous montrer ma prodigieuse poitrine.

Ah, non, non, non...

Un autre client.

Ah! Cher monsieur le directeur.

Mr. Hector, what on earth is happening?

L'anglais c'est interdit. Ici, on ne parle que fran ais.

En accordant une importance particuli re au subjonctif.

Oh... Erm...

Qu'est-ce qui s'est pass ici?

Pourquoi ce gar on... Er... Dakin, isn't it?

est sans ... er... trousers?

Ah! Erm... Quelqu'un?

Oh! Ne sois pas timide.

Dites cher monsieur le directeur ce que nous faisons.

- Je suis un homme qui... - Vous n' tes pas un homme!

Vous tes un soldat. Un soldat bless .

Vous comprenez, cher monsieur le directeur?

- Soldat bless . - Wounded soldier, of course.

Ici, c'est un h pital en Belgique.

Belgique? Pourquoi Belgique?

- Ypres. - Ypres?

- Ypres. - Ypres?

Pendant la guerre mondiale num ro un.

- Ypres. - C'est a!

Dakin est un soldat bless .

Un mutil de guerre.

Et les autres sont des m decins, infirmi res,

et tout le personnel d'un grand tablissement m dical et th rapeutique.

Continuez, mes enfants.

Il appelle sa m re.

Mon p re! Mon p re!

Il appelle son p re!