The Rats: A Witcher Tale

- Aah. -

There we go!

There she is!

Rise and shine, She-Rat.

Welcome back to the world of the living.

We can't stay too long.

The Baron is expecting your friends by the end of the week.

I would hate for them to spoil.

I had thought that a large force, armed to the teeth,

was waiting for the Rats.

I had tried to get to Jealousy and warn them.

In my wildest dreams, it never occurred to me

that the trap was a single man.

Aye.

Isn't that your girlfriend?

Mmm? Mistle!

Aye.

That was it.

Who the fuck names their child after a parasite?

A plant that lives off its host,

sucks the life out of it…

Nor did I have any idea what kind of man he was.

Although…

it was you she ate up, top to toe, wasn't it?

That's why you came flyin' into that square to save the day.

'Cause you got sucked in…

…to her family.

Mmm?

That was their fatal flaw, the lot of them.

You know why?

'Cause you can't be a family without loyalty.

And loyalty…

ooh, loyalty rots the brain.

Makes you weak.

Gets you caught.

Or worse.

Whatever happened next wouldn't touch me at all.

Not a bit.

It's not too late for you, though.

Mmm?

You've shed all that stinky dead weight.

And now, you can grow back,

stronger, tougher…

All I had to do was survive.

Just don't make the same mistakes they did.

'Cause you and me, our story,

it's just beginnin'.

Why are you doing this?

Why?

Well, that's a…

that's a whole different story.

But it's one I think you should hear.

Aah!

Let the music play.

Leave the till!

Ah, folks.

Betting's almost closing.

Don't lose your chance to pick a winner.

And who do you think it's gonna be?

Will it be the fearsome doppler?

- -Boo!

Or is it gonna be the bloodthirsty, heartless witcher?

Fight! Fight!

-You're worried. - I'm watching.

And wondering if he's got a knife hidden behind that barrel.

Oh, yeah? How do you figure?

You still don't believe I can hear your thoughts, hmm?

Betting's closed and the fight is on, people!

It's showtime.

And right now, it's the battle of the century.

We have the hideous havoc-wreaker, the doppler.

No, no, no!

- -

Oh, he's vicious, all right.

But is he any match

for the silver sword

of the most vile mutant on the Continent,

the witcher?

I don't know where he is.

Hmm.

- - What's he doing?

I said, the witcher!

Yeah!

Come on, give us something!

Come on! Come on!

My man is looking rough.

Here we go.

Twenty orens says the doppler fucking takes him.

You're on.

There he is!

- Uh-uh. -Hey, man.

Uh, we were just looking for some, uh… privacy.

- Mmm. -This room's closed to the public.

Oh, come on, mate. Don't be like that.

- -

Stay here.

- -

-Too easy. -Come on.

Come on!

Ugh.

This bet's bullshit!

If that's a doppler, I'm a bloody rhinoceros.

-His face is sweating off. - Oh, shit!

He's wide open. Come on!

Oh shit. That's us.

-This fight is a fraud! -Huh?

This fight is a fuckin' fraud!

-Shut up. -What a scam!

- Shut the hell up. -

What the fuck, man? I told you to stick to my left.

-It was an accident. -'Cause you're drunk. Again.

-I want my money back! -He's a fraud!

-Fraud! -This is some bullshit, man.

Oi! That's my--

Right, you! Out of here!

No!

- Come on! I got it! -

- It's mine! - Give it back!

Hey, you little punk.

- - Don't touch that!

- -

Get off!

Hah!

- Hey! Oi! -

- -

- Come here! - Hey.

Hey!

- Gimme back my money, witcher. -

Come on, let's go!

Hey, get back here.

Juniper!

Please.

-Don't leave me. -

That's my paycheck you're stealing--

Mistle, snap out of it!

- Come on, you, fight for it now. - Hey!

-Mistle, come on! Mistle! -

You gotta be fucking kidding me.

-No! No! - Asse, time to ride!

- Let's fucking go! - Fuck you!

You Rat!

Almost.

- - Aah. Got it.

Ooh!

- Wait, what the fuck is this shit? - You said it was full of gold.

- Well, some of it's gold. - Gold shit we can't fence.

Or eat. I'm starvin'.

Mmm, I'm on it.

Hee!

-Who bets an axe at the barrel table? -

Come to Papa.

How many people you reckon

the King of Gemmera killed with this thing?

Nah, that shit's from Vicovaro.

-Well, the King of Vicovaro, then. -Vicovaro had imperators, not kings.

The fuckin' Imperator of fuckin' Vicovaro.

-How many? -None. That's a ceremonial weapon.

Oi, pipe down. I love this song.

- - What song? You fuckin' lunatic.

Just 'cause you can't hear the voices doesn't mean they aren't singing.

- - You aren't psychic, babes.

-You're psycho. -

Watch your step.

- -

Lucky guess.

How'd we do?

Well, once we re-up on food and supplies,

we should have enough left to last a couple of days.

A couple of days?

Is it me, or are your jobs gettin' more dangerous and less profitable?

You've seen what's goin' on out there.

Nilfgaard's up everyone's arse right now.

I mean, what do you want me to do?