Topper Takes a Trip

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- Now Mr. Topper the issues in the case are very funny.

During the month of August you registered

for the Sea Breeze Hotel with a woman, not Mrs. Topper.

Well, yes, and no.

- Mr. Topper once again I ask you, who was the woman

with you at the Sea Breeze Hotel?

Marion Kerby.

Marion Kerby, Marion Kerby!

I insist that you stop trying to make a mockery

of this trial!

Now he's yelling at me.

- Kindly ask your questions in a milder tone.

I'm sorry, Your Honor.

You see.

Alright, I'll put it another way.

Was there a woman with you at the Sea Breeze Hotel

on August 2nd?

Yes, and no.

Was there or wasn't there?

- Well it's very hard to explain, but I could

if you would only let me.

Let him answer in his own way.

Thank you, Your Honor.

I'm afraid I can't tell you just exactly what happened

because I don't know myself.

It might make everything a little clearer

if I started with George and Marion Kerby.

You see it all began that day in June

when George and Marion drove back home.

George look out!

There's something in my eye.

Something in your eye?

Be careful, look out, it'll never take us.

- Oh boy, guess I'll never hear the last of this.

Oh, look at my car.

Look at my hat.

I've got a run in my stocking,

I told you to slow up, would you?

Oh no.

Can I help it if a tire blows out?

Besides, I had something in my eye.

- Couldn't have been your driving, could it?

I've come around that curve much faster

lots of times, so have you.

It was such a lovely car too.

George, you're getting transparent, you're fading.

Say that's funny,

I can see through you too.

Say, who's that?

It's us! You know something George?

I think we're dead.

I think you're right.

I hope we go together, honey.

So do I.

Marion, what do you suppose is

the conventional thing to do now?

I don't know.

We've never been conventional.

I think we tell someone our good deeds,

and then they open up the beautiful gates

and let us through.

Yes but, what good deeds have you done?

Oh, dozens.

Name one.

Well I've...

- Mm hmm. - I've...

What good deeds have you done?

Well I...

- At least we haven't done any bad ones, honey.

- You know if we could do a good deed now, if we...

Ah George, you're fading.

- My trouble really began when I bought the Kerby car.

This was after it was fixed up of course.

My wife objected so there was only one thing to do

and I did it, I ran away from home.

It was a big car and I wasn't used

to driving such a powerful one.

Naturally, I was somewhat nervous.

- Would you mind getting off my wife's lap?

Who said that?

Ollie Ollie, oxen free!

- Stop it, my nerves are jumpy enough already.

Where are you?

Would you get off my foot?

Who are you, where are you?

I'm in no mood for this sort of thing.

Toppy doesn't know us

Mrs. Kerby, may I present Mr. Topper?

How do you do Mr. Topper?

How do you do?

- And this is Mr. Kerby, Mr. Topper.

How do...

George and Marion Kerby, why, it can't be.

It mustn't be.

It is.

- Oh dear, Topper's fainted, get some water Marion.

Water.

Come on, Topper.

Oh.

Oh, that's fine you're a great help.

My hat.

Oh no, no, no it can't be.

No, no, no, no.

If you don't mind I'm gonna get in my car and drive home.

No, Topper.

- Sit down Topper, you can't get in your car and drive home

because you got a flat tire.

Besides, it isn't your car, it's ours.

Well, I'll walk you can have the car.

Mrs. Topper doesn't like the horrible thing anyway.

Oh George, did you hear that?

What?

Mrs. Topper doesn't like the car.

Our good deed, let's get to work on him

- I'm afraid I don't understand it any more than you do.

She called me a good deed or something.

- Do you suppose his accident could've effected his mind?

No dear, his past caught up with him.

- I request that the witness's testimony be stricken

from the record on the grounds that it's incredible.

I object, Your Honor.

My client has a right to his defense,

regardless of its credibility.

- In my 32 years on the bench, I have never heard

such a fantastic concoction of excuses,

which the witness dares call a defense.

Court is adjourned until ten o'clock tomorrow morning.

- I'll be awfully lonely without you, George.

Gee, I wish you were here.

Same old oak tree, 'member?

But it doesn't seem quite the same without you.

What's the matter, Atlas?

Where are you?

Uh oh, come on up here.

That's a boy, don't be afraid, I won't hurt you.

I'm the same as you are, I'm not here either.

You feel kind of lost, don't you pup?

I know how you feel 'cause I feel

that way without George too.

Something made me come back.

Maybe it was a hunch.

I don't know what it was,

I think something must've gone wrong.

Maybe it was my good deed.

Don't be afraid, nothing can hurt you anymore.

I'll take care of you now.

I better get this top up honey,

you wait over there under that tree.

I'll get my dress all wet, hurry up.

Oh honey, hurry up, I don't like it here.

Won't take a minute.

I don't know where you are, doggie

but go away, shoo, go away.

Give me that paper.

Oh honey, honey!

Oh honey never mind the top, let's get out of here.

- Oh, Topper's too nice a fella to be in trouble.

I'm gonna get him out.

And you're gonna help me.

Come on, try hard.

Oh you can make it, it's a little hard at first

but you'll get used to it.

That a boy.

- Alright boys, take it easy, take it easy.

I don't care who you are.

This divorce case is being tried privately

and no visitors allowed!

So come on boys break it up.

But I'm a friend of Judge Wilson's.

That doesn't make any difference to me.

Nobody gets in here, so come on, get going.

Come on please, break it up.

Proceed.

- And now Mrs. Topper, will you tell the court

in your own words how Mr. Topper abused you?

Why he did no such thing!

Cosmo never said an unkind word to me in his whole life.

Look at him, poor lamb.

How could you say such unkind things about him?

- Your Honor I'm afraid my client is a little

beside herself, nervous strain and all.

If you don't mind I'd like to excuse her

and call Mrs. Parkhurst to the stand.

Yes, excuse me Judge.

You do solemnly swear that the testimony

you may give in the court, now pending before

this court shall be the truth, the whole truth,

and nothing but the truth?

I certainly do.

Now Mrs. Parkhurst you've been a friend

to both parties in this case, have you not?

I have been, yes.

- And is it your opinion that the defendant