Wax: We Are The X

IN THE COUNTRIES OF THE WEST THOSE BORN BETWEEN THE END OF THE ‘60S AND THE EARLY ‘80S

BELONG TO WHAT IS COMMONLY KNOWN AS GENERATION X

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WITHOUT POINTS OF REFERENCE OR CERTAINTIES ABOUT THEIR FUTURE

TODAY, THE LAST OF THAT GENERATION ARE IN THEIR 30S

AND IN SOME COUNTRIES THEY HAVE BEEN RENAMED AS THE “EXPENDABLES”

THIS IS THE (TRUE) STORY OF THREE OF THEM

THE INTERVIEW

A FEW MONTHS AFTER X HOUR

"Monaco Matin"

"Made in Italy comes to Monaco.

The Principality is going to provide the setting

for the Ad to launch a new Italian car manufacturer.

It will be shot by a first-time director."

THE MODEL, THE BABY AND SULKY BEAR

MONDAY, 11 FEBRUARY 2013

6 DAYS TO X HOUR

- Stop it ! - What are you doing with my stuff ?

- What is it ? - Lenses for my phone. Leave them.

- Don't touch the glass ! - Move back.

Stop it !

Tomorrow, go to the Film Commission to sort out the permits.

Excuse me, Saverio, so we definitely don't have an office in France ?

It would have helped, having a base there...

You answer him, production man !

Were you unloved as a child ?

I'm trying to understand if there's a sensible reason

why you need to film me with your phone while I eat my breakfast.

No, no...hang on, I'll explain.

It's just that I want to document everything to do with my first job.

- I get it. There's just one thing... - Yeah ?

I don't know who to fire first, you or him !

Come on...

As you can see, I've prepared a timetable...

Ah, there's a juice as well !

We'll start tomorrow morning, look for locations...

Hello ? Hang on, I can't hear a thing. Well, I made the payment...

He'll be right back. He won't be long.

- I didn't even hear it ring.. - Maybe he had it on vibrate.

- Let's get a move on ! - Come on. - Get your case.

I'm filming. Help me ! Then he complains about the framing !

- Do we want to miss it ? - No !

- You're slow ! - Take this for me.

Come this way, the light's good.

- Bugger the light ! Shift ! - Get in.

You closed the door ! OK, I'll come round.

- Right, Fiumicino Airport. - Are you coming as well ?

- Is it a problem ? - No...

I'll come with you. I'll get the taxi, pay for breakfast...

- Thank you. - You not pleased ?

Yeah, of course.

Right, the Client has reduced our time.

So we're shooting from Monday. Did you sign for the kitty ?

Yeah, of course.

An office would've been handy, though.

Come on, a bit of enthusiasm !

We've got a lot to do and not much time, like everyone,

it's the same thing for the taxi driver !

What are they paying us, Livio ? What are they paying us for the Ad ?

- Half a million. - Half a million !

These are people with money, real money ! 500,000 euros !

All right...obviously we don't have the most important things,

the model and the baby. Luckily, Joelle will deal with that !

What's Joelle's surname ?

Joelle...Joelle Bernard, a dear friend, really good casting director.

First, she's French. The French do things.

No Twitter, but they managed to chop the King's head off !

Second, she's as sneaky as a snake and simple as a turtledove !

Be careful, both of you.

- I get it. Make a note, Livio. - What do you get ?

Hello ? He's arrived ? Give me ten minutes and I'll be there as well.

Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.

Listen, we need to go out the way a bit, the Square Coliseum.

- All right. - Excuse me, Saverio...

If we do that, we'll be late getting to the airport.

Livio, don't you start as well, eh !

If I say you'll make it, you'll make it. You'll be on time !

Of course you're not on time !

You brought half your house, like a pair of poofs !

Leave your bags in the car, the driver will take them to the office.

Hand luggage, speedy check-in... buy some underwear in Nice.

- All my clothes... - Look at me !

Remember who you're talking to ! Look and learn.

- How much is it ? - Have I to take the bags back ?

- Yes, to the office. - 90.

Right, make it 100...here you go.

You expect me to have change of 500 at this time of day ?

Livio, you pay from the kitty.

I'll be there on Sunday afternoon, with a really pissed-off crew !

Sunday is X HOUR.

500,000 euros !

Don't cock it up !

You know what I think ? He was faking with us, the phone calls as well.

He used our taxi to go where he was going and he got his breakfast !

OK, but have you got 100 euros ?

What are you doing with that toy ?

It's not a toy, it's a rag doll. Sulky Bear is coming with us, OK ?

I've got 40 euros, what do you need it for ?

- What do you mean ? Pay the taxi. - I'm sorry, use the kitty !

Where do you think that banknote of Saverio's came from ? The kitty.

The kitty Saverio left me is all 500-euro notes !

Stop it with that !

You made me leave my pants, but you brought your tripod !

I can't do the whole video blog in handheld, people would vomit !

- Do you know what she's like ? - I'm getting her photo on the net.

So you're able to film and surf the net with that thing ?

Yeah, I can do everything, film forwards, backwards, everything...

- Her photo ? - Yeah.

- What's she like ? - Come here.

Come on, let me see ! No ! She's doing the casting ?

- Everyone has a talent. - Yeah, hers is wasted, though.

No, what did he say ? As slippery as a snake and as willing as a turtledove...

We're not going to find her on youporn ?

- Youporn ? - Sorry.

You're predictable, I thought you'd have said redtube, badyoyo,

pornorabbit, extremetube, xhamster...

Dario and Livio ?

Er...nice to meet you, Livio Nesi, production manager, Liberty Film,

and this is... Come here. This is Dario Cervi, the Ad's director.

- Hi, pleased to meet you, Joelle. - Nice to meet you.

- Eh, yeah, it's all my stuff... - He's like that...

- Shall we go ? - Yes, I'll just get all my stuff...

Yeah, we brought everything, really...apart from pants...but...

- Apart from pants... - In the taxi...we left them...no room...

Guys, you're looking great there.

Joelle, can you show me your left profile ?

You're kidding ?

Yes.

Sit here.

When we land, we'll pick up the car they hired for us from Rome

and we'll spend the night here, in Mentone, Menton in French.

It's about 40 minutes, not any more from Nice.

Guys, are you with me ? Guys !

The French Riviera Film Commission is here

on Boulevard de Ca...Cacarage...

- Boulevard Carabacel - That's it !

I know where it is.

Can I put this in your coat pocket ? There, thanks.

Why ? What am I meant to do ?

No, nothing. Leave it there.

It's to record what you say for my video blog.

What video blog ?

Forget it. He's obsessed with this thing. No, stop it now !

Put it in your pocket.

Yeah, before casting I did a bit of everything, I even acted for a bit.

I told you she was an actress.

Yeah, but tell her what kind of actress you meant.

No, never mind, Dario. Nothing.

- What are you saying ? - He wanted to tell you something.

No, I didn't want to tell you anything.

I know Nice well because I worked in a Circus

that toured Provence. That was all.

I did a thing where you walk on...on...

What's the word ? Stults...

- Stilts ? - Stilts !

- Ah, stilt woman... - Stilt walker.

Stilt walker.

Go on, say something.

Joelle ! Try for the audio again. Say something !

- Can you hear me ? - It works ! I can hear you !

What are you doing ? What did you spend on all this stuff ?

I spent everything I earned in two years doing storyboards.

You're an artist ?

I'll show you what I did for the Ad. You can tell me what you think.

- Was it worth it ? - What ?

Buying all this stuff...

Ask me after the Ad.

It's off to a good start this Ad !

Sorry, there's a problem.

The secretary in Rome gave your details instead of mine.

I don't know how it happened. I'll speak to Saverio and sort it out,

but in the meantime we need your credit card and driving licence.

They won't give us the car otherwise.

OK, that's cool. I'll be your chauffeur !

We'll sort this out.

- Good. - Let's go !

You staying here ? Yeah ?

Yeah, yeah, on you go ! Sort it out.

I'm sorry, I don't know how this happened...

- Désolé. - Désolé.

I'll stay here and keep an eye on everything.

THE BET

TUESDAY, 12 FEBRUARY 2013

5 DAYS TO X HOUR

Do we have to wait ?

Excuse me, is this the Film Commission manager's office ?

- You want me to come with you ? - No, no, thank you.

- OK, I'll wait here. - Bonjour... OK.

The Hotel Fairmont answered. The one in Monte Carlo.

We'll go on Sunday before Saverio arrives with all the crew

You find it ?

I found these, if you want to check...

Look ! It's fantastic, eh ?

- That's it. - Stop it with that ! Look at this !

- Merci. - Yeah...

- See ? - Yeah, it's great... Yeah, OK.

Have a good mardi gras. Here's the latest gossip.

The couple of the moment,

actors Jean-Christophe Touchalier and Lily Bloom

are going to be visiting the Principality of Monaco.

they are expected on Thursday.