Life Stinks

...down 24 points in light trading, 62 million shares,

declines outnumber advances, three to two.

New claims for unemployment benefits rose 45,000

in the fourth week of April to 455,000.

The number of persons collecting benefits rose 39,000.

They still are running at about three-and-a-half million.

The weekly jobless claims figures are the earliest indication we get

of how the economy is doing and will give any early signal

when the economy begins to come out of recession.

Gold, up $1.20.

The afternoon fixing in London at 356.85.

Jeez!

Oh, shit!

International communications is the most active issue.

It's down a dollar at 47.

US Amalgamated is down a half at 29.

The biggest move of the day, Bolt Enterprises.

The stock is up $6.82, sparked by reports

that Goddard Bolt intends to purchase a prime section

of Downtown Los Angeles real estate.

'Morning, Mr. Bolt.

'Morning.

- 'Morning. - 'Morning.

'Morning.

- 'Morning. - 'Morning.

'Morning.

'Morning.

'Morning.

'Morning.

Gentlemen, let's go to work!

Pritchard.

How are we doing with our development in Brazil?

Mr. Bolt, we just learned that in order to build Club Bolt the way you envision,

we'd be forced to cut down 6,000 acres of natural Brazilian rain forest.

So?

Sir, the last 400 remaining Ipi Indians left in the world are still living there.

So?

Sir, if we cut down their forest,

we'd have to displace them, and they could cause trouble.

Well, they're not gonna want to live there anymore anyway.

Why not?

No shade.

How are we doing with our new development in Florida?

Well, sir, we are having a slight problem in Fort Lauderdale.

In order to make room for the magnificent, largest-in-the-world Bolt shopping mall,

we're going to have to tear down a nursing home for the aged.

So?

Well, at present, there are 180 very old people living there.

And we understand that most of them are invalids, who are bedridden and dying.

So?

It wouldn't look good in the papers.

I get your point.

Do it late at night.

Excellent!

Gentlemen, I have a little surprise.

Follow me.

- What is this? - It looks like a slum area.

You are looking at two-and-a-half square miles

of the most derelict, dilapidated section of Los Angeles.

Right now, I own half of this property.

The city owns the other half.

But by noon tomorrow, it will all be mine.

What is that?

One of those little bums that live down there.

I suppose you're wondering why Goddard Bolt

is prepared to pay up to $4 billion to own this worthless pile of refuse.

Am I right?

Well, we would never presume to question your genius for financial wizardry, sir.

But why?

Wait.

Gentlemen, the ultimate achievement of my life!

Bolt Center!

It's absolutely visionary!

Fantastic!

Incredible!

Gentlemen, you'll never know how much this project excites me!

Mr. Bolt, you have a surprise visitor.

- Who is it? - Vance Crasswell, sir.

Crasswell! Damn it!

Thank you. Let's go.

Excuse me. Am I interrupting?

I'm interrupting.

I'm interrupting. I should leave.

Should I leave? I'm gonna leave.

Can I come in?

Hello, Vance.

You know my attorneys, Pritchard, Knowles, Stevens.

The three wise men. Hiya, fellas.

What's goin' on?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Someone else's idea of what to do with the Downtown slum district.

Would you...

Why didn't they tell me Goddard Bolt owned the other half?

I never would've bought it.

No one beats Goddard Bolt when it comes to financial wheeling and dealing.

Now, look. I'm in way over my head here.

I'm sorry to have wasted your time, gentlemen.

Mr. Bolt.

Can I ask you a question?

Let me buy your half of the property.

Give you $2 billion, 4% of the profit for the next 20 years.

No.

- 5%. - No.

- 6%. - Stop.

Stopped.

Vance, why don't you let me buy you out?

Look at us.

An office is no place to do business.

I have a much better idea.

Now, isn't this better?

At least we can see what we're dealing with.

Okay. Final offer.

I want this property.

I want it.

Just so happens I grew up five blocks from where we're standing.

I'm all right.

Right in the middle of this godforsaken slum.

It's been my life-long dream to come back here and rebuild it.

It's okay. You can laugh.

I don't expect you to understand my feelings.

After all, you're a rich man's son.

You were born into money.

What, are you kidding? My father left me $5 million.

That's nothing.

No, no, no. Nothing is nothing!

These people down here have nothing! Zero!

Look, I don't want to hurt your feelings.

You? You couldn't survive 10 minutes down here.

Don't be ridiculous.

I would survive anywhere.

Right.

Without your money and your credit cards?

Yes.

Without identifying yourself to anyone as Goddard Bolt?

Yes.

For a modest period of time.

I don't know, let's say 30 days?

Absolutely!

It's a bet.

Bet?

What are you talking about?

Well, what you just said.

That you could survive down here without using any of your resources for 30 days.

And if you do it, you get my half of the property.

You don't do it, I'm gonna get yours.

I'm sorry, wasn't that the bet?

You conniving son-of-a-bitch.

Yes!

It's a bet.

You've underestimated me, Vance.

I can do it!

You can't do it! You'll never make it!

This is insane. This is crazy!

You'll never survive!

Pritchard, be quiet.

- Fergueson, go on. - Thank you.

Now, if you leave the prescribed slum area or try to remove this ankle alarm,

it will go off.

And if we receive a sustained alarm signal for more than 30 seconds,

you'll forfeit the bet.

After 30 days, the alarm will automatically deactivate.

Are these conditions understood?

Understood.

And we have your word on that.

Yes, you have my word on it.

Pritchard, I'm giving you and your partners my power of attorney.

I'm trusting you to look after all my legal affairs for the next 30 days.

Take it. Take it all.

I won't need anything.

And you won't need this either.

What are you doing?

Have to make sure no one recognizes you.

That was stitched in.

Give me a comb.

Mr. Bolt, I don't think you realize what you're getting into!

You've never slept in the street before.

You've never eaten out of garbage cans.

You're used to a hearty breakfast.

This is ludicrous.

Look at you without your toupee.

You look like somebody who only makes $50,000 a year.

Mr. Bolt, please don't do this.

Let me suggest you wait 24 hours.

Yes, at least sleep on it.

I've given my word.

Do you want me to go back on my word?

Would you go back on your word?

Certainly. We're lawyers.

Give me that contract.

Okay, Goddard, here we are.

Come on.

Now, in 30 days, at the exact moment of sunset,

all of this property is going to be yours or mine.

Either way, I think we should have a big party at my house.

Let's make it at my house.

Okay, your house.

For the look.

Thanks.

Let's get out of here.