The Mask

Got another one coming down, Mike.

Hang on a sec.

Hey! Argh!

I got those concert tickets

you wanted.

Oh, you're kidding.

For Friday night? Stanley, this is great.

So, what time should I pick you up?

Well, see, here's the thing.

My very best girlfriend just came into town,

and I know she would die to go to this.

So, could we maybe get an extra ticket for her?

Ooh...

They're out. They're sold out. That means there's no more.

Oh... Well, I just can't let her

sit home all alone.

Look, I'll tell you what.

Why don't you just go with your friend?

Stanley, I couldn't do that.

No, come on.

Stanley, you are the nicest guy.

- Ahh... - Really, you are.

- Yeah? - Charlie, isn't Stanley the nicest guy?

The best.

That was the most sickening display

I've ever seen.

I disagree.

I think I'm wearing her down.

Buddy, you know what you need?

You need a little change of pace.

Tonight, I'm gonna take you

on a love safari,

deep into the darkest heart

of the urban jungle.

Tell me more, bwana.

The Coco Bongo Club.

Hottest new joint in town.

Only the crème de la crème

need apply.

So, how do we get in?

Are you kidding?

Leave it to me. Trust me, buddy.

Yeah.

This is going to be

the perfect night on the town.

I don't have my umbrella.

Hurry.

Hold the phone. Killer at 3 o'clock.

Stand back and observe.

Excuse me, where can I open a new account?

New accounts, right here.

You know, you're lucky you caught me,

I was on my way out to...

Could you hold this for me, please?

I will hold anything you want.

Thank you.

Can you help me?

So...

What kind of account do you have in mind?

I'm not sure exactly.

You see, I'm just terrible with things like that.

That's an interesting tie, Mr...?

Ipkiss, Stanley Ipkiss.

Tina Carlyle. Pleased to meet you.

The pleasure's all mine.

May I?

- May you what? - I'm such a mess.

Oh, of course.

Thanks.

That's what they're there for.

As I was saying about that tie, it kind of reminds me of one of those...

What do you call it? Um, inkblot tests.

- A Rorschach test. - Right.

You know, it sort of looks like, um...

a young woman riding bareback.

Sort of a Lady Godiva or something.

Of course.

What do you see, Mr. Ipkiss?

Um...

I... I don't know.

Oh, oh.

Uh... It... Bright colors.

It's... It's a power tie. It's supposed to make you feel powerful.

Does it work?

Now, how about that account, huh?

Uh, we have several different plans.

Savings.

Checking. Savings and checking.

CDs, savings and CDs, checking and CDs,

savings, checking and CDs, T-bills.

Or we could just take all your money and throw it in a big mattress back there.

Now, I have some forms you'll have to fill out.

That's it, sweetheart.

Now, just a little bit to the right. Beautiful.

Hey, will you guys keep it down back there?

No problem.

- So, what do you think? - Layout's not bad.

But them motion detectors are a pain in the ass.

- But you can pull this off, right? - Hey, you talking to the doctor.

I do have one question.

Which is?

What does Niko have to say about all this?

Nothing.

This ain't his grift, man.

Get real, man. Everything is his grift.

He owns you, he owns this club, he owns this whole stinking town.

Things change.

You mess with Niko, you end up taking a dirt nap.

He's the only one who's napping.

And I'm about to give him a serious wake-up call.

But we need some cash.

So, first we take the bank, then we take Niko,

and then, my friend, school is out.

And this whole city is our playground.

Hey, bub, watch where you're going.

Hello?

- Hello? - Hang on, hang on.

Don't get your panties in a twist, would you?

Hey, Burt, what the hell is this?

Oh, I don't know. Uh...

About 700 bucks, Irv.

Now, what can I do for you, bub?

I'm here for the Civic.

The brake drums are shot, and you need a new transmission.

What?

All I wanted was an oil change.

You're lucky you caught these problems now before they cause you some serious trouble.

Sign right here and press down hard.

- There's no price. - There will be.

I don't have a car. I have to have a car tonight.

- Ey! - Yo?

Bring around the loaner.

The loaner?

The loaner?

Eugh!

It's a classic.

Hi. Charlie...

Stanley.

Gals, I want you to meet my buddy Stanley Ipkiss.

- Humongo in the banking business. - Not really.

Hey, what do you say we get in this joint, huh?

Yo, Bobby. How you doing, buddy? It's Charlie.

- Charlie, how you doing? - How are you?

- How you doing, my friend? - Long time no see. Come on in.

Hey, good to see you. OK, then.

Come on, gals, let's get going.

See you on the inside. Oh!

Bobby? Charlie. Charlie!

Charlie!

- It's a mistake. - You can't do that.

- Hey, hey. - Whoa!

You crossed the rope. Never cross the rope.

No, but my friends are on the inside...

- Lose him. - Come on now, guys.

Now, this isn't fair. Hey, watch it, I'm a bleeder.

You put me down right now, or I am never coming back here.

Thanks.

Aw, jeez.

Mr. Ipkiss, hi.

Hi.

Are you OK?

Me?

I'm great. Really good.

I just... I never felt better, really.

I'm just catching some air out here.

Your car, sir.

- That's not my car. - But it matches the ticket.

Alright.

I'll take it.

But I am very angry.

You believe this?

You drive in in a Porsche...

Oh!

Jeez!

Oh!

Ugh! God.

Ugh!

Hey!

Hey, mister!

Hold on!

I know CPR.

Hey, you.

What are you doing down there?

Uh... I'm just looking for...

my mask.

I got it.

Ipkiss! Do you have any idea what time it is?

Actually, no.

My new carpet.

Well, this is coming right out of your security deposit, Ipkiss.

- You know, Mrs. Peenman... - What?

Nothing.

Well, that's what you are, Ipkiss, a big nothing.

Aren't you due back at the laboratory to get your bolts tightened?

I should've said that.

Hey, you. Milo.

You know, you're not supposed to jump up. It's against doggy ordinance.

OK.

What do you want? You want me to throw that?

I'm very tired.