That Touch of Mink

Well, Miss Timberlake, back again for a little of the taxpayers' money, hmm?

- So did you work last week? - No.

- Are you available for work? - Yes.

- Did you turn down any jobs? - No.

- Are you busy tonight? - Yes.

If, in our opinion, the applicant hasn't exercised

proper diligence in seeking employment,

we can withhold payment of cheques.

Perhaps tomorrow night?

There's a wonderful little diner round the corner from where I live

and after dinner we could, uh, well...

...perhaps... - Go up to your apartment?

- Well, I, uh... - If you want me to go up to your apartment

come out and ask. That way I can think about it and make a decision.

Would you like to stop off at my place?

- May I have my cheque? - Oh. Of course.

Well?

I would enjoy going out with you, Mr Beasley,

if I didn't find you so personally distasteful.

You're a sneaky, crude, offensive man.

That's just how I feel.

I'm sure there are hundreds of girls who admire those qualities.

I circled the entire area, sir.

- There's no sign of her. - Darn. Thank you, Collins.

Hit and run's a dangerous sport, Mr Shayne, even for the privileged class.

Even if this victim survives, what can she do? Sue you?

With your money, you can run down half the girls in New York and still be solvent.

We hit a puddle, splashed the girl.

Would you have me stop, tie up the traffic,

crawl through the rain and beg forgiveness?

A decent gesture like that would never occur to you.

So I'll set up a foundation for waterlogged girls.

Isn't it a little early for cocktails?

I'm perfectly aware of what I'm doing.

- I have an analyst. Dr Gruber. - I know.

A distinguished analyst. I know exactly what started me drinking at this hour.

- What? - Dr Gruber, he's a lush.

Seven years of treating you could do it.

- Yeah. - Look out.

- He's a brilliant man. Brilliant. - Brilliant.

He put his finger right on my problem - my lack of integrity.

You were a humble but respected professor of economics at Princeton.

Students sat at my feet absorbing my wisdom.

The lvy League Socrates.

Then you came along dangling $50,000 a year under my nose

and, to my everlasting shame, I sold out.

And every year you further humiliate me by raising my salary.

Inexcusable. Like rubbing salt in the wounds.

And at Christmas you gave me stock in the company.

- Why are you trying to destroy me? - Just my natural hostility.

Excuse me. Benson's attorneys say he still won't sell.

Roger, you researched that company. What's it worth?

General Electronics? Six million.

Offer six and a quarter, tell him it's top dollar.

Yes, sir.

Roger, if that deal goes through, you're in for a bonus.

Bonus?

- Haven't you any conscience? - What?

Just when I'm reaching a point where I'll have the courage to go back to Princeton.

- Would it help if I fired you? - No!

Dr Gruber said this would be the worst time for that.

- Why? - I owe him quite a bit of money.

He's brilliant!

Wait a minute. Yes?

- 'Mrs Haskell and Mrs Farnum are here.' - I'll see them in a moment.

- There she is! - Who?

- That girl I splashed. - Where?

Just went into the automat. Roger, go and apologise for me.

She's a blonde in a raincoat with a leather collar.

This is in case I damaged her clothes.

I'm a highly paid executive, not a messenger boy.

OK, I'll go.

You hired me as your financial adviser.

Wouldn't send Bernard Baruch out to pay off a girl for you.

Oh, yes, you would.

Connie?

Connie! Yoo-hoo!

- Where are you? - In the cucumbers.

Hi.

That's the first smiling face today. I only get hungry ones.

What'll it be? Chicken pie or turkey leg?

Chicken.

How'd it go today? Any luck?

All bad. Some idiot splashed me with his car, practically ruined my dress.

You should see me. He never even stopped.

- Then I had to face Beasley. - What a parlay!

How is the playboy of the 8th Avenue unemployment office?

He asked me to his apartment. I told him what I thought of him.

- Au gratin or baked potato? - Baked.

He's not worth the trouble. Does a snake know he's a snake?

He crawls on his stomach and thinks he's a king.

Right. You know, you're a philosopher.

When a girl of my age still isn't married, you either philosophise or get arrested.

- Carrots or peas? - Carrots.

Cathy, your problem is how to keep your honour AND your job.

Men see you and suddenly their wives just don't understand them.

I've never done anything to encourage them.

You don't have to, nature did it for you.

- Jell-o? - Yeah.

Now, there are just so many jobs for girls who can operate computing machines.

The next job you get, you'll listen to me.

You don't comb your hair, no make-up,

wear military heels, you remind them of their wives.

They figure this they can get at home so they leave you alone.

Have some cake, it might make your skin break out. See you later, honey.

OK. Hey, I have an interview after lunch

- so I'll call you when it's over. - Good.

- Good luck. - Thanks.

Mr Miller.

Miss Emerson.

Are you familiar with company policy on giving away free food?

No, sir. Are we for it or against it?

That will cost you one dollar and twelve cents.

However, I might be willing to overlook the incident

if you, uh, introduce me to your friend.

- How is Mrs Miller? - She doesn't understand me.

I could've made book on that answer.

Excuse me, were you struck by a car this morning?

- What? - Splattered by a limousine?

Oh. Yes, I certainly was.

The gentleman who owns the car has offices across the street.

He saw you from his window and sent me to convey his regrets.

I should think a gentleman would apologise himself.

- Well, Mr Shayne's a very busy man. - Oh, really?

Is that why he didn't stop? That's leaving the scene of an accident.

If there was any damage done...

My raincoat was practically ruined. And look at this dress.

I've been authorised to compensate you for any damage done.

- Well, you just tell Mr... - Shayne.

...Shayne, that money does not buy good manners.

I wish I could tell him that myself.

- Do you? Really? - I certainly do.

You're right!

How would you feel? Here I am, he practically runs me down

and then drives right away!

And doesn't have the decency to apologise himself.

Furthermore I have a job interview and have to go like this.

- He doesn't care. - Ohhh.

- You know what I'd like to do? - Throw the money in his face?

Exactly!

I'd like to throw that money right in his face.

- Would you? - Yes, I would.

I've waited seven years for this moment.

You come with me.

Say, Connie, there's a man dragging Cathy out.

Gee. They don't even give her a chance to eat.

She's gonna spend the rest of her life saying, "I'm not that kind of a girl."

I'm only afraid that some day, before she can finish saying it, she will be.

There you are.

The Manhattan Home for Young Women thanks you for your generous donation

and for permitting us to use your name

- in our fundraising drive. - Well, it's a worthy cause.

There's a great need to provide an atmosphere of care and understanding

during this critical period.

You'd be shocked that the rate of unwed mothers...

Charlotte, we don't call them unwed mothers.

...that the rate of unfortunate girls has tripled in five years.

- It's a deplorable situation. - Yes, yes.

There's one consolation, Mrs Farnum -

for every unwed mother, there's an unwed father.

I never thought of it that way.

Well, thank you again, Mr Shayne.

- Goodbye, Mr Shayne. - Goodbye.

Wasn't it sweet of him to contribute so generously?

Mr Shayne doesn't deny he's responsible for what happened to me?

- No. - The least he could've done

was come to see me himself instead of sending someone over with money.

Some men have no sense of moral obligation.

Same thing happened to my friend Connie. He never even told her his name.

No. Have a seat.

I'll tell him you're here.

My dear, when the time comes, call this number.

Psst! Miss Timberlake.

No wonder he donated so generously. Guilt feelings.

Now, Evelyn, we must be realistic.

When a man donates $200,000, he's entitled to use the facilities.

He's in there, he'll be right out. Don't forget what you're gonna say -

reckless driving, leaving the scene of an accident,

bad manners, then the money in the face!

There are few other things I'd do if I weren't a lady.

This is no time to think of sex. Now, go!

Mr Shayne, Miss Timberlake.

Miss Timberlake?

Go get him. Miss Timberlake has something to say.

Yes?

I- I'd like to apologise

uh, for getting in your way this morning.

- It was entirely my fault. - I was practically jaywalking.

- You had a perfect right to be on the curb. - I was leaning over.

I'm sorry I couldn't stop. My driver circled the block but when we got back you'd gone.

- Leaving the scene of an accident. - Oh.

I don't know why I left. I must have gotten panicky.

Him, not you!

Roger, don't you have a letter to get off to Princeton?

I should've come down to the restaurant to apologise but I had some people here.

Knowing how busy you are, I'm surprised you found time to send anyone.

If I've damaged anything in any way...

Oh, not really.

Water's good for raincoats, and there's just a few spots on my dress.

- I'll be glad to pay for a new dress. - No, thank you.