The Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre

HI, HONEY. YOU'RE HOME.

I WONDERED WHERE YOU WERE. GET OFF MY BACK. HEAR ME ?

I JUST WONDERED IF YOU HAD A GOOD DAY. PLEASE GET OFF MY BACK !

PLEASE GET OFF MY BACK ! STOP SCREAMING !

WOULD YOU SHUT UP ? FINE.

A MIAMI JURY TODAY RETURNED A GUILTY VERDICT...

IN THE SLAYING OF ABORTION DOCTOR, IRWIN GUFFER.

IT TOOK THE SEVEN-MAN, FIVE-WOMAN JURY ONLY A MATTER OF HOURS...

TO FIND NORRIS TUBB GUILTY-- MOTHER ?

HEY, WATCH OUT. WATCH OUT, MAN.

HEY, CHARLES, I THINK YOU'RE CHASING THE WRONG TAIL, BUDDY.

OH, MY GOD ! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ? WE'VE BEEN WAITING.

THE WEDDING'S GOING ON INSIDE. WE NEED TO PUT YOU ON THE TOP TIER.

DON'T MIND THE FOOTPRINTS IN THE ICING.

I'M EXCITED. THEY LOOK GOOD. IT'S A VEST THING.

I FUCKIN' HATE KIDS.

MISS ABBOTT, DID BARRY COME THROUGH HERE ?

BARRY ? OH, BARRY.

DIDN'T YOU NO. BREAK UP ?

OH, WELL, NEVER MIND. I JUST THOUGHT--

FORGET IT. SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN.

WHAT ? SHE'S-- MISS-- MISS ABBOTT.

SHE JUST DOES THAT TO MAKE TROUBLE. IT'S OBVIOUS. IT IS SO--

IT IS SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?

DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO A WORD SHE SAYS. SHE'S JUST TRYING TO MAKE TROUBLE.

ALL THAT-- ALL THAT-- ALL THAT-- ALL THAT--

- IT'S JUST... - SHE'S SUCH A BITCH.

SEAN, HI. HEY.

HAVE YOU SEEN BARRY ? NOT IN A WHILE.

HAVE YOU ? NO.

SHE WAS, LIKE, COMPLETELY NAKED. OH, BULLSHIT.

SHE WAS SPILLING ALL OVER THE PLACE, LIKE A BATTLESHIP.

SO, I LAY HER DOWN, DO THE WHOLE THING--

"A BATTLESHIP" ? OKAY, LIKE A DINGHY.

HAS ANYBODY SEEN BARRY ?

- HAVE YOU SEEN BARRY ? - NO.

BARRY ! OH, SHIT.

HEATHER ! SHIT !

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BARRY. SHE'LL BE BACK,

IF THAT'S REALLY WHAT YOU WANT.

HEATHER ! HEATHER ! HEATHER, STOP !

HEATHER, STOP THE CAR !

HEATHER !

DAMN IT, HEATHER !

HEATHER, YOU BETTER FUCKING STOP THIS CAR RIGHT FUCKING NOW !

DAMN IT ! IF WE HAVE A WRECK, IT'S GONNA BE MY ASS !

- I DON'T CARE. - SLOW DOWN, PLEASE.

I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SO PISSED OFF ABOUT.

BARRY, I SAW YOU. YOU WERE KISSING HER.

ONCE ! I KISSED HER ONCE. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT ?

IT'S LIKE I CAN'T EVEN TALK TO MY FRIENDS ANYMORE. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW POSSESSIVE YOU ARE.

OH, RIGHT. I GUESS THAT'S WHY YOU WERE FEELING HER UP.

LOOK, GUYS NEED SEX, OKAY ?

IT'S BAD FOR YOU TO GET ALL WORKED UP AND THEN NOT GET IT.

YOU CAN GET PROSTRATE CANCER. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ?

THAT'S A LIE.

HEATHER, LOOK OUT !

HEATHER !

FUCK !

WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ?

I'M DEAD ! I'M SO FUCKING DEAD RIGHT NOW !

OH, MAN !

- YOU CAN'T GET CANCER FROM NOT HAVING SEX. - OH, RIGHT.

LIKE YOU'D KNOW. YOU NEVER HAD A DATE IN YOUR LIFE, YOU'RE SO UGLY.

- SHE IS NOT. - SHUT UP, SEAN.

HE'S JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU THINK IT'S YOUR FAULT.

LOOK, MY FATHER'S A DOCTOR. I THINK I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. SO, FUCK YOU, JENNY.

IT'S TRUE. IT IS MY FAULT. I WON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT YOUR FAULT.

YEAH, BUT, WHAT IF HE GETS CANCER AND ALL HIS HAIR FALLS OUT FROM ALL THE DRUGS ?

- I MEAN, IT COULD HAPPEN. - YEAH, JENNY, SO JUST SHUT UP.

NO, THAT'S JUST A LINE TO GET YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

- ASK SEAN. - SHE'S RIGHT.

- HE'S NEVER HAD A HARD-ON IN HIS LIFE. - I KNOW ALL HIS LINES.

HE LIVED ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME TILL THE EIGHTH GRADE. SHUT UP, SEAN.

WE WERE EVEN FRIENDS BEFORE HE GOT TOO COOL. SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU TURNED OUT TO BE SUCH A LITTLE GEEK.

HE USED TO COME OVER TO MY HOUSE ALL THE TIME, AND HE'D BE LAUGHING...

ABOUT ALL THE GIRLS HE'D FELT UP.

HIS BIG LINE WAS TO TELL THEM THAT HIS FATHER WAS A DOCTOR AND THAT THEY COULD GET...

BREAST CANCER IF THEY DIDN'T GET FELT UP ENOUGH. BARRY !

OKAY, I LIED. BIG DEAL. IT'S NOT MY FAULT THEY'RE STUPID ENOUGH TO BELIEVE IT.

WHAT A SCHMUCK. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, JENNY ?

JUST 'CAUSE YOU HATE GUYS.

HE'S JUST TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF ?

THAT THEY MIGHT TRY TO FUCK YOU ? NO.

- IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S A BIG SECRET. - WHAT ?

ASK ANYBODY. YOU NEVER GO TO PARTIES.

YOU NEVER GO ANYWHERE UNLESS YOU'RE WITH SEAN.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT HE'S A LITTLE POTHEAD, AND ALL YOU ARE IS FRIENDS.

BY THE WAY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN MY CAR. YOU'RE GETTING STONED.

IF MY DAD SMELLS THIS SHIT TOMORROW, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING SO COOL.

WHAT IF WE GOT INTO A WRECK, AND WE CRASH INTO A CAR IN FRONT OF US AND WE ALL DIED ?

THEY COULD WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT.

SHUT UP.

- WHERE THE HELL ARE WE ? - GREAT. WE'RE LOST.

NO, WE'RE NOT. ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GO BACK.

LOOK FOR A PLACE WHERE WE CAN TURN AROUND.

COOL DRESS, JENNY. WHAT'S THIS ?

STOP.

WHAT'S THE MATTER ? YOU AFRAID SOMEBODY MIGHT FIND OUT YOU HAVE TITS ?

- BARRY. - GIRLS HAVE TITS.

LEAVE HER ALONE, BARRY.

THERE'S NO PLACE TO TURN AROUND.

THERE'S NEVER ANY PLACE TO TURN AROUND. THIS SUCKS.

THESE ASSHOLES DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE ROADS.

WHAT WAS THAT ? DID Y'ALL SEE THAT ?

WATCH OUT !

OH, NO, I'M SO DEAD.

IS HE OKAY ? I DON'T KNOW.

GOD ! THIS IS GONNA LEAVE A SCAR !

I'M NOT HURT. I'M NOT HURT.

OH, SHIT. HIS HEAD--

OH, MY GOD. IS HE DEAD ?

DID HE DIE ? NO, HE'S JUST PASSED OUT.

YOU CAN TELL BY HIS EYES. YEAH, BUT HE COULD BE IN SHOCK.

WE NEED TO GET HIM TO A DOCTOR.

YEAH, RIGHT. AND KEEP HIM WARM. MM-HMM.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT ?

SOMETHING BAD'S GONNA HAPPEN. I CAN FEEL IT.

HE'S GONNA DIE. LOOK AT HIM.

DO YOU THINK IT'LL START ?

I'M DEAD. SOMEBODY KILL ME, PLEASE. IT'S MY FAULT.

IF HE DIES, I'LL BE A MURDERER.

WE'VE GOT TO FIND SOMEPLACE WHERE WE CAN CALL AN AMBULANCE.

I'LL GO. OKAY, COME ON.

I'M NOT STAYING HERE ALONE. WHAT IF HE DIES ?

FINE, THEN I'LL GO WITH YOU. YOU STAY AWAY FROM ME.

THIS IS STUPID. LOOK, I'M GONNA GO,

AND WHOEVER WANTS TO COME, COME, BUT SOMEBODY NEEDS TO STAY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

WAIT. DO YOU HAVE A FLASHLIGHT ?

IS SOMEBODY GONNA COME WITH ME ?

STOP. I HEARD SOMETHING.

HEATHER. I HAVE THESE DREAMS ABOUT SOME WEIRDO...

FOLLOWING ME THROUGH THE WOODS, AND IT'S COMING TRUE.

YEAH ? MM-HMM. I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE.

SOME MURDERER, LIKE THAT GUY IN CHICAGO--

HE KILLED PEOPLE AND PUT THEIR HEARTS IN A REFRIGERATOR-- IS GONNA KILL US.

THEY'RE GONNA SHOW OUR PICTURES NAKED...

WITH OUR HEARTS TORN OUT ON A CURRENT AFFAIR.

GOD. WHAT WAS THAT ?

GREAT. NOW WE CAN'T SEE JACK.

I'M SORRY, BUT SOMEONE IS FOLLOWING ME.

I CAN FEEL THEIR EYES ON MY BACK.

- BULLSHIT. - NO, THAT'S WHAT

FOR US TO GO WANDERING AROUND IN THE DARK.

- WE NEED TO STAY HERE AND START A FIRE. - WE NEED TO CALL AN AMBULANCE.

WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL WE CAN SEE.

THANK GOD, WE'RE SAVED. SOMEBODY SAY A PRAYER.

PIECE OF SHIT.

YOU MIGHT BE, BUT MY FATHER'S STILL GONNA KILL ME.

CALL THE POLICE. THERE'S BEEN THIS HORRIBLE ACCIDENT.

A MAN'S DYING. PROM NIGHT.

SOMEBODY BRING ME A GLASS OF WATER, PLEASE ?

QUICK. I'M GONNA PASS OUT.

GODDAMN ANSWERING MACHINE. DON'T YOU WORRY. HE'LL PICK UP.

VILMER, IF YOU'RE THERE, BABE, PICK UP THE PHONE. VILMER.

PHONY AS THREE-DOLLAR BILLS. CHANGED MY LIFE THOUGH.

GODDAMN IT, VILMER. BUTTON IT UP, BABE.

GET ME A GLASS OF WATER ? DAMN IT, STOP IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT ? THE MINUTE I SHOWED UP WITH THESE,

EVERY PEANUT FARMER IN THE COUNTY...

THOUGHT HE WAS GOD'S GIFT TO WOMEN.

WHAT THE HELL. DOUBLED MY COMMISSION... OKAY.

FOR THE FIRST SIX MONTHS.

GODDAMN, IT'S ABOUT TIME. VILMER, LISTEN.

SOME KIDS GOT IN A WRECK UP THE ROAD AND ONE OF THEM'S HURT.

UH-HUH. W-WAIT A SECOND. WAIT A SECOND. WHICH WAY ?

- BACK THAT WAY. - HOW FAR ?

ABOUT A MILE ?

ABOUT A MILE BACK UP 709 FROM ME.

UH-HUH. ALL RIGHT. BYE.

WHY DO BLONDES STICK THEIR HEADS OUT OF CAR WINDOWS ?

WHY ? GET A REFILL.

I DON'T GET IT.

AIRHEADS ?

- WE SHOULD GET BACK THEN AND SEE IF SEAN'S OKAY. - YEAH.

WHAT WAS THAT ? DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

JUST SOME FARMER'S WIFE.

LIKE I'M EVEN INTERESTED ! SEE 'EM AND WEEP !

OR SOME HIGH SCHOOL BOY.

THEY'RE ALWAYS DOING SOMETHING TO GET ME TO FLASH 'EM.

WHAT ?

HEY !

IS THERE AN AMBULANCE COMING ? THIS GUY IS HURT.

I THINK HE'S DELIRIOUS.

IS HE OKAY ?

BOY'S DEAD.

NO, HE'S NOT. HE'S JUST PASSED OUT.

I SAID HE'S DEAD.

BUT HE WAS JUST TALKING, LIKE TALKING IN HIS SLEEP.

IS THAT RIGHT ?

WELL--

HE'S DEAD NOW.

BOY, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT RUNNING OFF. IT AIN'T GONNA DO YOU A DAMN BIT OF GOOD.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT RIGHT NOW. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ?

WELL, FIRST, I'M GONNA KILL YOU.