Velvet Buzzsaw

There's obviously a mistake.

We were notified the passes would be waiting in our names.

I'm sorry, but that's incorrect.

- Morf Vandewalt, Artweb. - No. It's today...

Hey, Morf.

Okay, I wanna speak to someone in charge, please.

- Lovely to see you again. - This is ridiculous.

We bought Shogrun's Ultraworld last month in New York.

Have you ever felt invisible?

Once, I built a railroad.

- There he is. Morf. - Cloudio.

It's Kenji, you probably know. It's titled Hoboman.

The response is amazing.

- Arguably, the hit of the show. - Hmm.

Wolfson, Female Figure, four years ago.

No, it's new. Vastly different themes.

It's an iteration.

No originality. No courage. My opinion.

Well, I absolutely respect the power of your point of view,

but this encompasses on a global scale.

There's just such a sense of now and in your face,

which speaks to pop and cinema and economics.

I mean, you can feel the winds of the apocalypse.

I can't save you.

We have a four-million-dollar hold, a major buyer in Shanghai.

Will you be running your review today?

- Hey. - Do you have a minute?

No, I'm just heading inside now.

- I have to tell you something about Ricky. - What?

- Josephina, he's cheating on you. - Are you serious?

- I saw him with this girl. - When?

Last night at a bar.

- What? - They were both pretty drunk.

- Wha... What time? - I don't know. Ten?

- They were all over each other. - Right at the fucking bar.

- I'm so sorry, Josephina. - Are you sure it was him?

They were standing right next to me.

I gotta go.

- Anything I can do? - No.

Uh, thank you, seriously. Bye.

- Howzit, Morf? - Hello, Jon.

Really something, eh?

Is Piers sleeping with Dorothy?

Oh, I'm certain you'd have to ask him that.

Excuse me.

- Morf, love. - Oh, Gretchen.

We bid on it for the museum. Jon wants three point seven.

Rhodora would never sell a Piers for under five,

so it's a nice opportunity for us.

I'm quite curious to know what you think.

I think sober hasn't been good for him.

Well, this was done fifteen years ago.

Piers was in the full bloom of alcoholism here.

Exactly.

So, you're saying it is a good buy for the museum, then?

Excuse me.

Josephina.

Are you okay?

Literally, the worst fucking day.

Ugh, your makeup.

God, I'm late. They texted, like, twenty times.

I'm headed there, too.

God, fucking people.

- Who? - Everyone.

Is Piers switching galleries?

I answer phones and get coffee. I'd literally be, like, the last to know.

You're too late. Rhodora already got her coffee.

Are you where you wanna be?

I'm not taking shit from the installer.

What did you think?

I haven't felt that in years.

- Morf is here. - Oh, thank you. Excuse me.

Well?

Color. Life.

I love it.

I'm sick of white spaces.

That is so strange.

I've been drawn to a bolder booth presence in terms of work and palette lately.

Mm-hmm. This adherence to showing in sterile, monochrome cubes.

It's just laziness. I wanted to get some juxtaposition going.

I'm actually, I mean right now, writing something exactly about this.

- This wasn't in the catalog. - Mm-mm.

It's Minkins.

It's called Sphere.

It creates this unique sensation,

depending on each person and whatever hole they decide to explore.

Just like life.

It uses all sorts of sensors and gizmos.

Ooh!

It's about choice, desire, sex.

The whole enchilada.

- It's groundbreaking. - Hmm, it's yours to break.

Debuted ten minutes ago.

I'm posting a review. How much is it?

So much easier to talk about money than art.

Funny.

Speaking of, is Piers leaving you for Jon Dondon?

I've represented Piers for seventeen years.

That's not an answer.

Well, why don't you put your hand in?

See what you feel.

- It's just not worth my investment. - You're mistaken.

This is gonna be an uncommon event experience,

not to mention the tax incentive.

- Is there water in Miami? - At the bar, sir.

- I don't know. - Fuck.

I can guarantee your position as co-chair... Oh, excuse me.

Piers.

I was floating in the ocean, and, for this incredible moment,

it felt like I had tapped into a primal consciousness.

A connection to the world in its purest form.

Ricky's still denying it.

"Please, baby, let me explain." I swear to God, I want to hurt him.

Maybe it will free you up for new things.

This was a new thing. He'd just moved in.

I have to say, I'm having my own major second thoughts about Ed.

He actually has some fantasy about us getting married.

I'm through dating artists.

They're already in a relationship.

Look, Damrish,

your website doesn't give a sense of scale or texture.

But seeing your work in person at the new-artists fair,

I had that "Oh, my God" moment.

It charges and mauls and devours.

Six months ago, I was living on the street,

showing on the sidewalk. So, that's where I'm coming from, right?

Let me fill you in.

All this... it's just a safari to hunt the next new thing and eat it.

I heard you were the one to watch out for.

Oh, I'm easy-peasy.

Pussycat, really.

I know all about you, going back to your punk days.

Oof, that was many moons ago.

- Velvet Buzzsaw. - Yeah, well, the name was catchy.

Yeah, the early stuff was great.

Then it became, what? Like, self-parody?

I mean, after Polly left,

why'd you split up?

Who remembers through all the booze and pills.

But the point is,

I've gone from anarchist to purveyor of good taste.

So, I get the joke.

None of this is new. It's all been done since

someone charged a bone to see the first cave painting.

Here you are.

So... Thank you.

What cave are you showing in?

Me and my dudes started a collective.

Mmm. Well, cheers to that.

Well, hell knows, I love loyalty,

but I would kill to exhibit you.

I just turned down an offer for a full show from Jon Dondon.

Ugh. And on and on.

He's inside right now trying to poach Piers.

You know where I am, Damrish?

I'm here doing shots with you.

Club soda. Lime.

The market always tiers up for you, Piers.

Listen, my intolerance for your bullshit is zero.

Lekker, no bullshit.

Look, Rhodora overpriced you.

She's lost it. She's completely out of touch.

I sold Cranial today for three point seven,

exactly what I said I'd get.

If you come with me, our gallery has cutting-edge analytics

to maximize deal flow and global demand.

I am fighting to get back to creation,

to revelation, the billion years of energy sparking through our brain.

I'm not jetting around, hawking fucking tickets.

In an attention economy, celebrity is art form.

Do you understand that I only commission new work?

Repros, prints, replicas are all marketed under my own brand.

My boet, I'm more than ecstatic to partner you exclusively on your future work.

I hear Rhodora sold Sphere for seven million.

Ugh. Man, it's a carnival attraction.

It's brilliant.

I never should've quit drinking.

Josephina.

Are you going to SLS?

I'm going to a satellite show outside of town.

Well, I'll come.

What's going on with you?

What do you mean?

You're Morf fucking Vandewalt.

What are you doing coming to a grant show with me?

I like being with you.

We have a taste relationship.

Is that tobacco?

Hash oil.

Maybe I'll have one little puff.

Okay, that was the worst show I've seen in years.

- And who was that angry guy when we left? - You don't know?

That was Imeldus Vanderhorst. You panned him last year.

Grab two Tito's from the fridge.

You know, you're in much better shape than Ricky.

I... do a lot of Pilates and Peloton.

I remember your body.

I remember yours.

Ever since Berlin, I find myself thinking all the time about you.

We were wasted.