Gabby Duran and the Unsittables

Okay, so get this:

The last couple of weeks have been crazy for me.

I found out aliens live here.

Like, legit, from outer space aliens.

And since I'm the only human who knows,

they want me to babysit their kids.

How dope is that?

Of course, I can't tell anyone about this,

which is why I'm talking to an alien baby.

- But whatever. - Zagellian: Feed me!

I'm trying! Now which one's your mouth hole?

Well, that wasn't it.

The Mysteries of Havensburg Club is about finding and exposing

all the paranormal, odd, and downright weird things

that happen around this town.

So, then, Gabby,

have you observed anything out of the ordinary this week?

This is so out of the ordinary!

Nope. Nada.

Me neither!

I just wish I could find something!

It doesn't have to be big:

A Sasquatch footprint,

one scale from a sewer gator,

something that smells kind of alien!

If I could just find anything,

people would finally know I was right

and I would spread my truth across the globe.

Well, I guess it's just a bummer we live in a super normal town, then.

Anyway, on to our next order of business.

Check this out!

Those are VIP tickets to Blooderella 9: The Bloodening.

How did you get these?

I won them on a radio call-in show!

I think because I'm the only person who still listens to radio.

Blooderella is maybe my favorite

nine-part scary movie franchise of all time!

I am in!

Both: One, two, three, four.

You know, this kid online was trying to tell me

that the Octo-Slay Trilogy was better than Blooderella,

but I was, like, no way.

Aliens don't have tentacles. That's a fact.

Uh, yeah. Totally.

So, in conclusion,

while Chris is certainly more dreamy,

more data is needed

to definitively answer the question

which Hemsworth brother is more talented.

End report.

Send to Gor-Monite central archive,

priority alpha.

What are you doing?

I've been asked to submit reports on Earth culture,

as our people's leading expert on humanity.

Yeah, about that.

We're supposed to be blending in as humans, right?

That is correct, yes.

Well, how am I supposed to blend in as human

if you don't let me spend any time around them?

I wanna go out in the world.

Oh, Jeremy, we have talked about this.

Now, it is my job to watch over you,

and I just don't think you're ready yet.

Come on. Please.

Gabby gave me a taste of human life,

and I want more.

You're an expert on them.

Take me out and teach me. Share your wisdom.

Well, I suppose if you were accompanied

by a suitable expert such as myself...

Very well. Tomorrow I shall take you out and teach you

literally everything there is to know about humans.

- Baller! - Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Lesson one: Humans never use the word "baller"

to express pleasure.

They prefer "boo yah."

Boo yah!

Both: One, two, three, four.

- Wesley: See ya. - Gabby: See ya.

So, how did your club meeting go?

Did you guys find any Loch Ness monsters?

Look, I get it. It's a silly club.

I just do it to hang out with Wes.

He's not afraid to be different, you know?

He's like, "I'm here.

"I believe in ridiculous nonsense.

Deal with it." I respect that.

Ah, mija, well, I'm so happy that you're settling in

and that you've made such a good friend.

Yeah, it's great.

But...?

I don't know.

Did you ever have something you were keeping from a friend?

And you really wanted to tell him,

but, like, you just couldn't?

And every time you see him, it's fun,

but you've still got this big thing between you?

- Yes! - Been there.

I just want to tell him, but I can't.

What should I do?

Okay, well, you know, I had hoped you would be a little older

- before we were talking about this... - Older?

Wait. What are you talking about?

You know. You having a crush on Wesley.

Ew! Gross! Come on, Mom!

Boys and girls can just be friends!

Why do you gotta make everything so weird?

Ugh! Seriously! Bah!

- Boy trouble? - (sighs) Yep.

They grow up so fast.

I know, I know. "Go to the Principal's Office."

What can I say? You're tough, but fair.

Swift: Gabby, it's been two weeks.

You do realize you don't actually have to get in trouble

every time we need to speak, correct?

Hey, I'm just trying to preserve our cover here, Swifty.

Regardless, Jeremy aside,

your first few babysitting assignments

appear to have gone quite well,

so it would seem you're ready for another.

His name is Stuart Fischman.

He and his parents are a water-dwelling species

from the planet Vitreous Prime.

But he's also very nervous around humans,

so you'll need to take extra care with him.

Look, I've scraped liquified beetle out of my eye sockets.

This ain't my first alien rodeo.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Fischman will expect you this afternoon.

Oh, no can do.

Wesley and I have plans to see Blooderella 9 ...

The movie with so much gore,

it makes Blooderella 8 look like Blooderella 7.

Gabby, these alien children are counting on you.

I hope you realize this job is very important.

It's much more important than some silly film.

The Blooderella franchise is a national treasure!

Also, regarding Wesley,

I've noticed you two spending an inordinate amount of time together.

That is... problematic.

Problematic how?

Wesley has a tendency to believe in the fantastical

and is not shy about sharing what he knows.

Aliens are real!

And the second I have proof,

I'm going straight to the news!

So... what are you saying?

You either end your friendship with Wesley

or you resign your position as an alien babysitter.

The choice is yours.

Hey! There she is!

What's up? You're not sick, are you?

Because you're not supposed to see Blooderella 9

with a heart condition or an upset stomach.

- No, I'm fine. - Cool.

'Cause I've never been more excited about anything in my life.

You didn't, like, make us matching hats or anything, did you?

Of course not.

I made us matching shirts.

Ugh. That makes this so much harder.

- Look, Wes... - Also, I made snacks.

Homemade trail mix.

I didn't put pretzels or raisins or peanuts in yours,

'cause I know you think they're the posers of the snack world.

So, your bag is basically just chocolate chips.

Sorry for interrupting. What were you saying?

Uh, nothing. No big deal. We good.

That's awful! What is that?!

The first lesson of human culture.

It's called "jazz music."

These street people force humans to listen to their caterwauling,

but then reward them with money for the ordeal.

Now, go and get your reward.

Ugh!

Or perhaps you're not ready for human interaction.

No! I'm ready. I can do it.

Good work! This music is really terrible!

Is five dollars enough?

Let's make it ten. You're really bad.

Hey!