Deadbeat - First Season

Camomile: Previously on Deadbeat...

All right, try it now.

Testies, testies, one, two, three.

Ha!

Are you seeing any ghosts right now?

No.

Sue? The recording.

- Hit play. - (On laptop): Have you ever

seen a ghost in your life? Kevin: No.

I have never seen a ghost.

Your business is finished.

Go on, get out of here.

- (Whimpering) - You too, Blob.

- (Continues whimpering) - Just go.

Mrs. White, please, I have to confess something.

I believe in Kevin.

I think there's something else in this cave.

Something powerful.

Roofie: What do you mean you're done with ghosts?

I mean, I'm finished with them.

Look, I know what the word means.

Well, then why did you ask?

I know you lost your subway job,

but come on, man, there's gonna be others.

It's not the job. You don't get it, Roofie.

I finally had a chance to prove

that I, a real medium,

was better at ghosts than Camomile White, a fake medium,

and I still somehow managed to lose.

Look, you can't just be done, all right?

You have a rare gift that-that helps people.

Well, it's the stupidest gift ever.

Why can't I just be a regular old

newsstand operator like everybody else in this city?

A regular newsstand... What are you talking...?

You know what, I'm not gonna let you squander this gift.

You know what, if you wanna operate my newsstand,

you gonna have to put the ghost sign back up.

- Slam dunk! - Okay, fine.

Okay, now...

I quit. What?

I don't have to be a newsie, Roofie.

There are lots of other jobs

that I could try, I just haven't tried them yet.

And I won't have to deal with stinking fart-faced ghosts

all day either! You'll see.

- You'll all see! - Pac!

It'll be anarchy! Hello, world, meet Kevin Pacalioglu.

Come back.

Did you find anything?

No, Paul. I haven't found squat.

All of these books are just rubbish.

Most of them are ghost erotica.

- You wrote them. - (Sighs)

I've made a career

out of exploiting people who believed in ghosts,

and now it seems there really are ghosts

and I've just been living a lie!

I just don't see the big deal. Your fans think that you

have always believed in ghosts, and now if you actually do,

maybe you'll just be able to, you know, do your job better.

Oh, my God, you're right.

- (Chuckles) - I'll just be even more convincing.

I can use that feeling that I had in the tunnel at anytime

and whenever I need to go som...

- (Dramatic theme playing) - The tunnel.

- What? - Whatever it was

that killed Sue down there...

is still down there.

They start construction again tomorrow.

Oh, my God, all those innocent people...

- My career. - What?

I gave the stamp of approval on that tunnel.

I gave them the all-clear,

I said the ghost had gone.

If anybody else dies, my career will be destroyed.

- What are you gonna do? - Well, I'm gonna get rid of the ghost.

- (Stammering): Do you know how to do that? - No.

But I know someone who does.

What the hell was that? I always wanted to try that.

- You, out. - No. Come on.

Hey. It's you!

You're the one that did all this to me!

Piece of...

- You're out! - But I didn't...

No, this is not good.

Any who, that's why I quit ghost work, you know.

The whole industry is just too throat-cutty for me.

Hey, can I confide something inside you?

I don't even like ghosts. I don't,

I don't like them. I can't believe I'm saying that.

They're just, they're so needy.

They're only friends with me because they want something.

Because they know I can hear them.

And then I inevitably get attached,

and they abandon me for that stinking light.

And the question is, do I really need that?

The answer is no, I don't.

Kevin: I hear you, brother.

I don't get what you're saying, but I hear ya.

I hear all of you, you guys are my new family.

And I will take care of you no matter what,

just as long as you stay alive, for as long as I'm alive.

Just don't go turning into a bunch of ghost jackasses...

Ah!

Someone will clean that up, right?

- Si. - You will.

Oh.

You speak English? Si.

Herro?

Somebody there?

Blob, is that you?

Cause I'm pretty sure I banished you, buddy.

Okay, that better be somebody living, like a robber

or a murderer, because I am so done with...

Sue...

: You can see me.

Oh, my God, Sue, you're...

you're dead, what happened?

You were right, the subway...

there's something else down there.

- Yeah. - I was with Camomile,

cleaning up after the séance,

and this monster killed me.

A monster?

I didn't get a good look at it,

but it was big. Huge teeth.

Stabbed me right in the heart.

Well, at least it didn't stab you right in the back.

Well, it did because it went through my chest

and then out through my back.

No, you stabbed me in the back.

You stabbed me in the back. You betrayed me.

The whole drunk at the bar. That was just a big,

elaborate ruse so you could go tell Camomile

about the subway job.

No, I know it looks bad, but it wasn't a set-up.

Ah, I don't believe you.

Please, Kevin, that night we had,

it was real, I swear. But when I got home,

Camomile was waiting for me.

And she forced it out of me. You know how scary she can be.

I tried to cover, but...

I'm sorry.

I ruined everything for us.

I shouldn't have asked, I'll just be a ghost forever.

You don't ruin everything.

It's just, like uh!

You know? What are you asking me for, what do you need?

My body is still in the tunnel.

I can't move into my light until my body is buried at sea.

Your body's buried at sea? Isn't it...

No, doesn't matter. That's fine.

I'll do it. I'll help you.

- Really? - As long as you leave me alone.

Okay, just leave me alone.

I can't deal with any more emotions today.

I'm getting emotion sickness.

: Okay.

Kevin: You smell really bad.

I-I really wish I didn't eat that

pulled pork sandwich earlier. Unh...

Sue: I think we should probably hurry.

What... Oh. You know what, Sue?

I'm not afraid of this "monster" you're talking about, okay?

I've seen just about everything there is to see in this world.

No, it's just you're picking up body parts

and if someone walked in, it wouldn't look so good.

Oh, right.

Yeah, point taken.

God, you're everywhere.

Mm. I'm sorry I didn't die in a more convenient way.

It doesn't even matter, honestly.

- Why? - Because, this is my last job.

After the Camomile ridicule session down here,

I decided I'm giving up the ghost.

What do you mean?

It's a figment of speech, Sue. It means to quit, okay?

- You can't quit. - Yes, I can.

What about all those ghosts out there?

- That's not my problem. - Kevin, these are tortured souls

with no one to turn to.

You're the only one who can help them.

I don't want to get into it, okay, Sue?

You should just be counting your stars lucky

that I'm even helping you, all right?

Uh...

Oh, my God, look. I think that's it.

That's it?