Pacific Heights

So gentle.

Whatever works.

Jesus.

No. No!

Leave him alone!

Get up!

You're just screwing everybody, aren't you, you son of a...

- No! - ...bitch!

That should do it.

Oh, my God.

It's all right. It's all right.

The worst part's over now.

Yeah.

We'll go away.

Visit my family.

You'd like my family.

I just love this house.

It's such a classic Victorian.

It was built around 1886.

Probably remodeled slightly in the 40s.

I know what you're thinking.

It needs a lot of TLC

and is a little pricier than what we were talking about originally,

but remember you've got two rental units downstairs

to help you cover the mortgage.

And I really think, relatively speaking

we can get this place for a song. Up here...

What do you think?

Seven hundred and fifty grand, huh?

It's not a song, it's an opera.

Between my savings and Drake's, we can cover the down payment.

And the realtor said we can get one of those

home equity loans for improvements.

You'd be totally tapped out.

But we'll have rental units.

Well, what if you can't rent them?

Oh, come on. The vacancy rate in this area is less than 2%.

Look, do you want my advice or my approval?

- Your advice. - Your approval.

Pass.

It's too risky a call.

I mean, if someone misses one month's rent

you're gonna go down like the Titanic.

I don't even... I don't even think you can get approved for the loan

at your income level.

We'll fudge the numbers a little.

Yeah. Everybody does it.

It's expected.

"Legal description of building."

It's a building.

Uh, I don't think that's what they mean.

- It's... It's like a... - It's a... It's a wooden building

with windows.

All right. We'll come back to that one.

Um, my previous employment.

Equestrian.

It's too pompous.

- Self-employed. - Okay.

"Manner in which title will be held."

Like this.

Please, please.

"Held with both hands with a pity expression."

I can't believe we're actually gonna do this.

Marital status.

Single.

Come on!

Come on! Get it down, buddy! Come on!

Come on! Knock it down!

Mine! Now it's all mine!

We rent the studio for a thousand

and the one-bedroom for $1,200.

$1,300. You should go up and down.

All right. $1,300.

- That leaves us, uh... - $1,400.

...$1,400 to cover the mortgage which is

$300 a month less than we used to be paying

for our two old apartments.

- So we're actually saving money. - Yeah.

Assuming that we don't go broke before we rent them.

Then you've got to replace the plumbing and rewire the electric.

We have to remember this is an investment, Patty.

We can't afford to do everything at once.

It's not just an investment, it's our home.

Well. You want something to drink?

Sure.

Hey, there's a cat outside.

Hey, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Could be good luck.

- Aw, could be hungry. - Yeah.

Thanks.

Mmm.

I'm pooped.

Is that your manly walk?

It's the only walk I've got.

You feel comfortable.

- Yeah? - Mmm-hmm.

- Like your old saddle? - Better.

I just wish I had some spurs.

You taste like turpentine.

That's better.

- Hi, there. - Good afternoon.

Welcome to the neighborhood, huh?

- Well, thank you. - I like your place.

Hi.

Hi. How're you doing today?

Fine, thank you.

- How do you like the color? - Pretty good.

Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Thayer.

Drake Goodman. I'm sorry I'm late.

Ran into double overtime and I forgot about our appointment.

This is the apartment.

We're asking $1,300 a month

plus the $2,000 security deposit.

You pay the gas and electric

and we pay the... The water and garbage.

Here. Take this.

- In the back here we have the kitchen. - Oh, it's great.

Brand new gas stove, disposal, microwave...

Stop that!

There's a full bath.

All the original tiles' been redone.

It's the original bathtub.

We'd want to repaint.

Yeah, we'd, uh, pay for all the materials...

It's so chalky now.

What color did you have in mind?

Black.

Here's the gas stove

and dishwasher, the microwave, the disposal.

I'm sure Drake showed you all this.

And you credit and references all checked out...

- Oh, we'll paint over that. - Huh?

We'll paint over it.

- You don't have children, do you? - No.

This is a very nice place.

We just wanted to look at it again

- to be sure. - Thank you. Yes.

Just got separated from my wife.

I'm hell in the kitchen.

I've been thinking about taking a cooking class or something.

Excuse me.

- We will take the apartment. - Oh, great. Okay.

We would like to start moving in by tomorrow.

Pardon me. A thousand a month?

Yeah. Oh, and a $1,500 security deposit.

I can handle that.

I'll have the key for you in the morning then.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Mr. Watanabe.

So long, Mrs. Watanabe.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

Uh, any chance I can pay you half now half at the end of the month?

I'm in this 90-day CD.

We'll have to check your credit.

No sweat. My credit's solid.

Actually, I've been looking to buy a place

but I haven't found anything I like for the price, you know.

Mmm-hmm. Here you go.

I said my credit's solid.

Well, you still have to fill out an application

and Drake'll wanna check it out.

Understand something.

I want this apartment. My credit is good. I don't want to lose...

Obviously, you're at the top of the list, Mr. Baker.

You're the first person who's seen the place.

Yeah.

Okay.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Uh, Ms. Palmer? - Yeah?

I'm sorry.

I just get the runaround so much, you know.

That's okay. No sweat.

I'll get this back to you as soon as I can.

Okay.

Patty?

In here. I'm sick.

What's the matter?

I'll be all right. Answer the door.

It might be Mr. What's-his-name

for the key to downstairs.

- Morning. - Good morning.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Mrs. Watanabe, these are the keys to the back apartment.

- I'm so sorry so early. - It's okay.

I'll just, uh, I'll just go get dressed.

All these people aren't moving in with you, are they?

Mr. Palmer, right?

Goodman. Drake Goodman.

Sorry.

Very good.

- Hi. - Hi, I'm Carter Hayes.

I stopped by a couple weeks ago

and spoke with, uh, your wife

about renting the studio apartment.

- My... My girlfriend. - Oh, your girlfriend?

Oh, sorry. We don't wanna rush anything, do we?

- I assume it's still available? - Yes, it is.

- Um... - Is Patty here?

I don't wanna keep you here if you've got...

No, it's no problem. You know, I'm... I'm taking care of the rentals.

Did she show you the apartment?