Penelope

The vaults literally blasted out of the solid granite

of Manhattan island.

Yes, gentlemen, as my old Scottish grandfather

might have said, "your money is safer with us

than if it were guarded by the loch ness monster herself."

And now if you will follow me into the executive suite.

Oh, I hope you don't mind.

Oh, miss Serena. What a sweet name.

Thank you.

I think names have a great influence on character.

- Don't you? - Well, how's that?

A lady named miss Serena ought to be calm and serene.

- Are you? - Well, I try to be.

That's good, because this is a stickup.

Now, ah, don't move.

And don't put your foot on that alarm button

or I shall be forced to blast you.

Dearie, hand me those nice new stacks of $500 bills.

More.

Ooh.

What are those bills with dear grover Cleveland's picture

on them? $1000 bills?

Let me have a handful of those too.

Oh, one more thing.

Which way is the ladies' room?

Thank you, dearie. You've been very helpful.

Ra-ra-ra!

Three cheers for what? -No!

R-robbed!

Robbed? Someone call Mr. Elcott.

Who did it? Point him out.

Stand back, everybody.

Not him. Lady.

- Old lady. - Can you describe her?

- Old, old... - Calm down, calm down!

Relax. -Old...

Come on, release the electronic doors.

At once, Mr. Elcott.

Alright, lady, come out with your hands up.

A gun! That horrible old lady's got a gun!

A person isn't safe any place in this rotten city.

You first. I'm not even married.

I couldn't find the button, Mr. Elcott.

Mr. Elcott! Mr. Elcott!

They've trapped her in the ladies' room.

Alright, little old lady, are you coming out

or are we coming in?

Nothing.

Do you have a dime?

In deference to your years, madam

I urge you not to do anything foolish.

- Nothing. - I don't get it.

I think I'm beginning to.

Someone lost a coat!

That dame in a yellow suit! Where is she?

- Let's go! - Come on, men, get out!

Bergdorf Goodman, please.

Taxi!

How are you?

What seems to be the trouble?

Stickup at the city federal bank.

Imagine!

Five bandits with machine guns and tear gas.

No!

Got away with over 130,000 bucks!

As much as that?

Good gracious.

Mr. Elcott?

Congratulations, you've just broken the world's record.

Robbed the same day you opened.

Throw this nut out!

He's not a nut. He's a police lieutenant.

He doesn't sound like much of a police lieutenant.

And you don't look like much of a bank president.

And a good bony leg. Did you notice?

I lost my trouser defending my bank.

Something that wouldn't have been necessary

had the police been on the job.

Now, now, Mr. Elcott, you've got it backwards.

First, there is a bank job, then there is a police job.

Do you mind lowering your voice? It's bad for business.

Come inside.

You should have thought of that before you left

all those $500 and $1000 bills lying around.

It was a promotional idea for the opening.

Bank notes of that denomination aren't readily negotiable.

We have all the serial numbers.

I guess it would be kind of tough

trying to break $1000 bill in an automat.

Yeah, but if they could,

can you imagine 1000 bucks worth of nickels?

I think it's a funny image.

You find grand larceny amusing?

You're tense. You're much too tense.

Very bad for the digestion. Relax.

The insurance company, let them be tense.

They have to make good your losses.

I'm concerned with our loss of prestige.

A thing like this could cause the public to lose confidence.

Well, now, I can't imagine why.

If I were a police, lieutenant, I think I'd be out looking

for $60,000 carried by a redhead in a yellow suit.

The odds are, like, 40 to 1

that the redhead is no longer modeling that particular number.

Here you are, Mr. Elcott. Right here on film.

Everything that happened between 2:00 and 3:00.

The robbery took place at 2:47.

We always film the first few days of a new bank's operation.

- Helps eliminate the bugs. - Well, talk about dumb luck.

Rothschild, get these down to the lab.

We're going to the movies tonight.

Get me Mrs. Elcott. If she's not at home

Mrs. Elcott is here, Dr. Mannix.

Send her in.

- Good afternoon, Gregory. - Good evening.

Oh, Gregory, I'm terribly sorry. I just couldn't help it.

Things kept happening.

Oh, that feels good.

I've had such a day!

Good day, I hope? Mm.

No more escapism or attempt to run away from reality?

A little running, yes. Little escaping too.

Hm. Well, you look so beautiful this afternoon

I'll try to forgive it.

Gregory, you've never said anything like that before.

"In the spring, a young man's fancy?"

Penelope, I am not in love with you,

nor are you in love with me.

Although at this stage of your analysis, you may think so.

Oh, I don't think I'm in love with you.

Oh, you, you don't think you're in love with me?

No. Never entered my mind.

Why? Are you disappointed?

Not in the least!

In fact, I'm relieved. Oh.

That's good.

So you had an interesting day, huh?

Care to talk about it?

Well, let's see.

This morning I went shopping

and then I went to the museum of modern art.

They have a marvelous new exhibit there.

Then I had lunch at the, uh, Plaza.

The palm court.

Eggs Benedict.

And then, a few minutes before 3 o'clock

I stuck up my husband's bank.

Are you asleep?

No, I...

You're not associating. You-you realize that?

How do you mean?

I mean, you said you went shopping.

You went to the museum, you had lunch.

Mm-hmm.

And then you said something entirely irrelevant.

Gregory, it's you who's not associating.

All I said was I stuck up my husband's bank.

You said it again. But you couldn't possibly.

How do you know?

Because I've been your analyst for three years.

I know what you're capable of

and I know what you're not capable of.

Would you like to bet?

My reputation in psychiatry

against anything you care to put up.

Will this be enough?

What's that?

Well, I think it's called the loot.

The-the loot?

P-Penelope, would-would you...

So you think you robbed a bank, huh?

Hm, I've been saying that.

Then I went over to Bergdorf's and bought this new outfit.

Do you like it?

Penelope, do you expect me to believe

that you robbed your husband's bank

and went blithely off to Bergdorf's

and spent the loot on dresses and minks?

- Of course not. - Well, thank goodness.

No, I wouldn't spend stolen money.

I have a charge account.

You still insist you robbed a bank.

Now how could you?

Gregory, it's very simple...

Please, I-l don't wanna hear. I-l don't want to hear it.

I-I-I-l don't wanna hear about it.

Oh, of course, that would make you an accessory after the fact.

Gregory, I'm sorry. Don't be upset.

We'll just forget I ever mentioned it.

We're not going to forget about anything.

H-how much did you get?