800 Words

It would be fair to say that on an average day

in the little town I now call home,

not a lot happens.

People go about their business doing the things people do.

And news, when it happens at all,

is not remotely earth-shattering.

there are things that are hidden.

There are lives that just slip through the gaps.

People can just disappear for years,

and things just carry on.

Life goes on.

As if they never existed.

-You two are up early. -Places to be, Dad. Exams to be examined.

What is it today?

Well, good luck. Don't really need it. I've already passed.

It's just a question of by how much. That's the spirit. You need a lift?

~~ lll bike. I've got plenty of time.

But I'll pick you up for that thing, right? -If you must. -Coming, Arlo?

The long arm of the law catches up with you at last.

You and your badass boyfriend.

Not my boyfriend.

Have you told him that?

He knows. Have a lovely day.

Can they deport her?

Haere mai, George. Welcome, welcome.

It's a bit over the top, isn't it? Oh, a little bit of te reo never goes amiss in Aotearoa.

No, I meant that.

Yeah, Dad likes to make a fuss

of, uh, some people.

‘Better take that. Christmas present last year from Siouxsie.

Nice.

My biggest fan, that girl. Possibly my only fan.

Still, we've all got to move on sometime.

You've still got the real estate agency, though, Monty, eh?

Not the same, George.

Well, I guess you're wondering where to start,

what being editor of this glorious little newspaper

~ actually means. Luckily, he has me to tell him, Monty.

So, you're here.

Yes. Yes, I am, Gloria.

Ready to crack into it.

Crack into what exactly? Well, stories, obviously.

News stories, human interest stories, that kind of thing.

What's funny?

From experience, George, I think Gloria sees your role

as more of a figurehead-type arrangement.

Editorials. That's all you have to write.

I've got a list of topics here that Bill has approved.

Dad would actually dictate those to me.

Well, I think you'll find I'm capable

of a little more than that once I get going.

I'm sure you are.

In fact, you've got that thing with Constable Tom this afternoon.

Maybe you could write about that.

If I want my daughter never to forgive me.

See how quickly things become complicated, George?

Okay.

You've got to understand, George, it's a small town.

Oh, I know that, Monty.

Just saying. Just saying.

Not a lot happens "round here, newswise.

Probably a good thing, actually.

I know I don't have to remind anyone here

that the charges against these two young people

are very serious.

Breaking into a man's home, his castle, we just don't do that in Weld.

Cut to the chase, Tom. What are you gonna do about it?

Ah, well, now...

Therein lies the problem.

Oh, here we go.

Ah, the problem being

that, um, unfortunately...

Sorry, where was 1? With the problem.

Ah, yes, the problem that unfortunately,

due to unforeseen circumstances,

we appear to have misplaced the paperwork...

relating to these charges.

And as a result, this case won't be moving forward now

or anytime soon, for that matter.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

And justice is served, Tom style!

I'm sure they've learned their lesson.

Isn't that right, Shay? - Definitely.

_ I'm, uh, very sorry for any trouble we've caused.

Oh, me too, Mr. McNamara.

I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

No, it won't. Because if it does, I'll dispense with the law

and find some other deterrent.

Understood?

I'm sure they do.

So, now that we're off the hook,

we've got a whole beautiful summer ahead of us. - Mm.

Tempting as it is, not this time, Romeo.

Ooh. Does that mean you're my Juliet?

~~ Can we go now? You should write an editorial about this, George.

Keeping the young people of this town in order and all that.

~ Yeah, if it's all right with you, I'd prefer not to, thanks.

Sounds like there's some bigger news going on out there, George.

You should be on that scoop.

Yes.

Yes, I should.

Careful, guys. We could have a critically injured patient here.

- No, I'm sweet. - I'll be the judge of that.

Seriously, I'm better than that lady down there, that's for sure.

Again, I'll be the judge of that.

Oh, are you here in your new capacity as member of the press, George?

- Yes, I am. - Try and stay out of the way.

No, this is not good.

It's okay, Tom. You're in safe hands.

Yeah, we haven't dropped anyone in ages, eh, Monty? No, Ollie.

Not since we last dropped you, in fact. Oh, if we do drop you, try and slide right to the bottom.

Fighting gravity only makes it worse.

And I'll be close behind you.

Why does this not reassure me? Bombs away.

- Off you go. -Okay, don't touch me. ~~ -Okay. I'll be holding you.

I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with me! Yeah, just to be on the safe side, all right?

Talking about down there?

Listen to you. George the reporter I after the big scoop, eh?

Well, a small scoop would be good at this stage.

Well, then, it's your lucky day. Crashed car and a body lying unnoticed off the road

for what must have been, I don't know, years.

Pretty exciting for a junior journo, eh?

- Editor, actually. - Yeah, him as well.

Sorry, Monty! It's her, isn't it?

Well, it's a little hard to tell in her current state.

But, uh, the car's definitely hers.

Bloody hell.

Unless you've come to tell me that you've miraculously found your paperwork,

I don't want to talk to you.

Actually, it's Bill Jr. We've come to see.

Monty said he was here.

Hels. What's it about?

Hey, boys!

Why the long face, Monty?

Somebody die? Heh.

Yes, actually.

We think we've found Treena.

There will need to be a formal identification process, but...

It's her.

It's a hell of a story, wouldn't you agree?

I would.

Tragedy, mystery, irony. Irony?

Well, there was a dead body just off the road for all those years

as people drove by.

Is that actually irony? Well, it's something. Human interest.

Then why are you calling me? Just write it up.

Well, you're the trained journalist. Give me a tip.

Make sure you spell everybody's name right.

Don't call Weld a dead-end town again,

although for once that is kind of accurate.

- That's not helping much. - Just write the story, George.

Write...

Write what people want and need to know. And don't forget,

you've still got my column to write for me, yes?

It will be done. Got to go.

You've heard, I'm sure? About the mystery body found

just off the back road to Ruapara?

Yes, George, I have heard.

Bit of a story, wouldn't you say?

Hell of a story. Human interest up the wazoo.

Poor old Treena. They know it is?

Well, they know whose car it is, so logic dictates

that it's Treena

And was Treena well known around Weld? Oh, yes.

In fact, you're well acquainted with one of her offspring.

I am?

Her daughter is living at your house. Lindsay?

~~ Oh, hi, MrT. We're out of cottage cheese.

Could you get the low-fat stuff next time?

Don't want to chunk out now it's summer, right?

Right. Just you home, is it?

Arlo's still at his exam and Woody was here.

Not really sure why.

Woody does that.

Heard from your dad today?

-Nah. -Really? I mean, he's rung heaps of times,

but I don't feel like listening to his crap so I turn off my phone.

Well, maybe that's not such a good idea.

What's up? I think you should just call him.

Just call him, okay?

- I don't want to call him. - I think you should.

- Is it Grandpa? - No, it's not Big Mac.

-No, it's not Monty. Did Uncle Robbie die in prison?

No, look it's really not right for me to tell you.

Seriously, whatever it is, I'd much rather hear it from you than Dad.

Tell me.

It's your mother.

They found her car. Um...

Her car?

Where?

Down the bank on the bank on the Ruapara Road.

And she was in it? Well, they haven't formally identified the body, but...

The body?

Yeah.

Won

I'm so sorry, Lindsay.

[ Knock on door I

Lindsay? You here?

I've been trying to call you. Why haven't you bloody answered?

I know, okay?!