Monk

Hello, Rudy.

Normally I'd frisk you to make sure you're not packing but...

in this case, I'll make an exception.

Do you know who I am?

- Al Nicoletto. - It's a nice hotel.

I killed a guy here in 95?

96, 96?

96. Memories.

I don't have the money.

- I swear to god. - We'll then I'll just let you go, right?

Nobody who swears to god could possibly be lying.

You and your partner stole $3.1 million from our friends in Miami.

More or less.

They don't have the exact figure yet.

- I don't have it! - One hell of an account.

Ben took the money!

- Ben Gruber, your partner, right? - That's right.

We were supposed to meet up next week, split the money.

Meet where?

I don't know. Ben was gonna call.

- Where is he? - California. That's all I know.

Oh, god, that postcard over there.

"Sit tight. I'll call next week."

That's all I know.

- I swear. - I got bad news for you, Rudy.

I believe you.

MONK Season 4 Epi. 5 Mr. Monk Gets Drunk

2005/08/05

Mr. Monk Gets Drunk

The winery's over there.

- And this is the inn. - Oh, it's so beautiful.

You come here every year?

I couldn't do it.

Mitch and I honeymooned in Paris.

I still haven't been back.

I have to come.

I promised Trudy.

Well, I am so looking forward to relaxing.

You know, reading a book.

Taking a bath.

Oh, I may never leave that bathtub.

Uh, wait a minute. Let me get that one.

Here you go.

Thank you.

- Oh, oh, the mail. - Pardon me?

I forgot to tell Kevin to bring in the mail.

That's okay, I talked to him.

Maybe we should call him, just to, just to be sure.

Mr. Monk, I took care of it. He's bringing in the mail.

What are you doing?

What, you don't believe me?

Why would I lie about something like that?

To shut me up.

Mr. Monk, I'm not a liar. I called him.

Just to be sure.

Mr. Monk, we are partners now.

That means we have to trust each other.

That is the rule, okay?

I have to trust you.

You have to trust me.

No matter what we say.

You're right.

I'm sorry. / Okay.

Oh, no.

Oh, no. / What?

Oh, it's so different.

This is not at all the way I remember it.

Feel better? / A little.

Adrian! Hello!

Welcome back.

Uh, welcome home.

Hello, Sylvia.

Has it really been a year already?

Oh, you must be Natalie.

Welcome to wine country.

Sylvia Willis.

Sylvia to my friends, whom I hope is everybody.

Oh, Adrian, I've got your room all ready.

Your special pillows, special towels, and your special soap.

And I hope you got my letter about the rug.

Oh, yes. They had to replace one of the rugs.

Oh, thank you for being so understanding.

Uh, would you sign in, please?

You're going to be in room 204 at the top of the stairs. / Oh, sure.

Sylvia, I want to apologize again for last year.

Oh, don't mention it. It's ancient history.

What happened last year?

Well, it's not worth mentioning.

We had a mystery weekend.

And we hired some actors who were going to act out a little murder.

I'm really, really sorry.

And, uh, it was supposed to be for three days.

And everybody paid in advance for three days.

Adrian solved the case in, what was it, 12 minutes?

Well, I, I knew that the general's daughterwas lying about meeting Churchill,

because Churchill wasn't knighted until 1953.

Which meant that Reginald, the limping chauffeur,

who supplied her alibi, was also lying.

So obviously, they were lovers who were planning to kill the sultan,

- and steal the Arabian emerald. - Anyway, uh,

we had to refund everybody's money.

No big deal.

But we learned our lesson.

No more mysteries when Adrian Monk is in town.

This time we're having a wine tasting.

Uh, do you enjoy wine, Natalie?

- A little more than I should. - Oh, then you must join us.

Uh, Adrian, you don't drink, do you?

No.

Oh, good. Perfect.

Here are your keys.

You know the way.

Now, if you need anything, you just call.

Okay.

Natalie, I'm going to sit down here for a little while.

It's sort of a tradition.

- You want some company? - No, no, I'll...

- I'll be fine. I won't be alone. - Okay.

Well, have a good night, Mr. Monk.

Get some rest.

Not a day goes by

when I don't think about you.

And I, I never feel as close to you as I do when I'm here.

It's always...

Oh, no, no,

Please, leave it. Please.

It's 1984.

Yes, sir. Allacco cabernet, 1984.

- It had your name on it. - It was my wife's favorite.

Thank you.

Thank you for marrying me.

What were you thinking?

I'm sorry. That's, that's probably me.

I was a little enthusiastic with the aqua velva.

- Do you mind if I rest my cheeks? - Actually, I do.

Oh, well, if someone comes, I'll get up.

I hate drinking alone.

- Um, por favor? - Senor.

Oh, I'm, I'm, uh, bilingual.

My mother was Venezuelan.

That means I can make an ass of myself in two languages.

Excuse me. Pardon me, I'm sorry.

For my heart.

My old ticker. Larry Zwibell.

Adrian Monk.

Adrian, nice to know you. So what brings you here?

Are you here for the, uh, what, the wine tasting?

No, I come every year. It's kind of a tradition.

All right, that's nice. Ah, please.

Good.

Oh, transcendent. Like a meal in itself.

Oh, just think. A week ago,

I couldn't even afford a bottle of pop.

Oh, fabulous.

Hey, are you all right?

I'm not much of a drinker.

Oh. How many have you had?

- One bottle? - One sip.

Well, if you wake up tomorrow and you're still hammered,

you gotta come find me. I'm in room 202 by the back staircase.

I got a great cure for a hangover, it's 100% guaranteed.

So, um, if you'll excuse me, I'm, uh...

I'm gonna teach these rubes how to play some poker.

Nice knowing you.

Hello, hello, everybody. Hi.

So, uh, what are you playing?

It's a friendly little game.

Oh, I thought you were playing poker.

Hey, is this seat taken?

- Go ahead, sit down. - Thank you.

I'm sorry, that's, you know what? That's probably the aqua velva.

Oh, my god, what'd you do? Take a bath in it?

No, I didn't. But that's not a bad idea.

I'll try it next time.

Hey, Larry Zwibell.

Hey. / Hi.

I brought a couple friends with me. Maybe you'd all like to say hi.

Cal Gefsky, hi, how are you doing? This is my wife Heidi.

Heidi. / Wife? I just can't get used to that.

Oh, we just got married on Saturday.

- Congratulations. - I'm Dr. David Sobin.

Nice to see you.

He's a psychiatrist, you know. So watch out for him.

A shrink? No, you're kidding. Wait, hold on.

I got a great joke. Okay. Have you guys heard this one?

A guy goes to a psychiatrist and he says,

"doctor, my wife thinks she's a refrigerator."

And the psychiatrist says, "well, just ignore her."

And the guy says, "I can't."

"When she sleeps with her mouth open, the little light keeps me awake all night."

Hey, Adrian, now what, are you gonna give up?

I think so. Good night.

Oh, excuse me?

Um, excuse me?

Um, before you go, would you take our picture?

Oh, sure.

Hold still.

Hold, hold still.

Ready...

Smile.