Intern

[ mellow music, party chatter ]

IS THAT NINA ZIMOY?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THE EDITOR OF VOGUE

IS PARADING HER BONY ASS AT A SKIRTPARTY!

HOW DARE SHE!

FAG.

ASSHOLE.

SO I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT ALLURE ARTICLE. I MEAN,

IT GOT ME TO STOP EATING SUSHI

FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES, BUT THEN I SAID...

SEIZE THE DIEM.

I WON'T BE SWAYED JUST 'CAUSE

SOME VILLAGE CHICK EATS A BAD EGG.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M DINING

AT TERIYAKI BOY. AND HONESTLY,

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN?

WHAT, I GET A TAPEWORM

AND CAN EAT WHATEVER I LIKE

AND STILL LOSE 20 POUNDS?

THEN I'D REALLY BE LIKE KAREN CARPENTER,

ON TOP OF THE WORLD LOOKING DOWN ON CREATION.

HA! WOULDN'T THAT BE DREAMY?

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT MOI.

WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS AGAIN?

JOCELYN.

AND YOU'RE OVER AT...

UM, SKIRTMAGAZINE.

OH! ROXANNE ROCHET. LOVE HER LIKE A SISTER.

WHAT DO YOU DO THERE?

UH... YOU KNOW...

THIS AND THAT.

DETAILS, DARLING.

YOU'RE A WRITER, A STYLIST?

OH, I'M... I'M THE HEAD PEON.

EXCUSE ME?

THE RESIDENT XEROX WHORE.

WHAT'S THAT?

I'M AN INTERN.

OKAY, I'M JOCELYN BENNETT, AND HERE WE ARE

AT THE SKIRTMAGAZINE CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS,

I.E., WHERE FASHION TRENDS ARE INVENTED.

Rocky: HOW ABOUT HOW YOU GOT HERE?

WELL, I THINK I TOOK MY SCHOOL MOTTO

A LITTLE BIT TOO SERIOUSLY.

WHEN HORACE DUTTON TAFT PENNED

"NOT TO BE SERVED BUT TO SERVE,"

I THINK HE HAD AMFAR AND GOD'S LOVE WE DELIVER IN MIND,

NOT FASHION MAGAZINES.

I COULD'VE BEEN ON THE STAFF AT GLAMOUR,

BUT I'D RATHER BE AN INTERN AT SKIRT.

I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A MISSIONARY

TO SALVAGE THE TACKY.

THIS IS OUR ASSOCIATE GREETER,

A.K.A. RECEPTIONIST.

HEY, DEBORAH.

DEBORAH DUCHET IS THE GATEKEEPER,

THE SAINT PETER OF SKIRT.

SHE SEPARATES THE MEN FROM THE BOYS.

LET'S WATCH HER IN ACTION.

WHAT THE HELL ARE ALL THESE CAMERAS DOING HERE?

I'M DOING THE TOUR FOR THE CHANNEL 13

THAT NOBODY ELSE WANTED TO DO.

ALLO, SKIRT.

ISN'T THAT GENIUS?

LET'S MOVE ON.

OH! THAT'S ROXANNE ROCHET, OUR FASHION DIRECTOR.

LET'S FOLLOW HER.

DON'T YOU JUST LOVE HER CHANEL?

THIS IS HER FIRST DAY BACK SINCE THE ACCIDENT.

HER BREAST IMPLANT EXPLODED ON THE CONCORDE.

Roxanne: THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

MESSAGES? GET TOKYO ON LINE ONE

FEDEX MY BOOTS BACK

TO CHRISTINE DUBOTAI. IT NEEDS NEW LACE.

GET ME A HERBAL WRAP. DID YOU CALL GARREN?

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE JOHN BARTLETT SHOOT?

FORGET THE HERBAL WRAP.

I WANT A HIMALAYAN REJUVENATION

LIGONBERRY ACID PEEL.

AND GET ME SOME VALIUM.

I'M SUFFERING FROM SUCH JET SET LAG.

WHERE IS CECILIA SOLEIL?

SHE'S ON MATERNITY LEAVE THIS MONTH.

"THIS MONTH"?

IT ONLY TAKES ONE DAY TO BOND WITH A BABY.

Secretary: YES, ROXANNE?

- CAPPUCCINO. - RIGHT AWAY, ROXANNE.

OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.

THIS IS THE EDITOR AT LARGE.

THIS IS THE EDITOR, SUPER LARGE.

AND THIS IS THE EDITOR, SLENDER-REGULAR.

ACTUALLY, I'M NOT SURE WHAT THEY DO.

THEY JUST ORDER IN FROM DOM REMI

AND GO TO SAMPLE SALES.

BOB.

EXCUSE ME, ANTOINETTE?

BOB.

NO, I'M JOCELYN.

NO. YOU NEED A BOB.

OH.

CHI CHI CHEMISE HAS FAINTED.

MESSAGES?

NO. LET'S GO CHECK IT OUT.

QU'EST-CE QUI SE PASSE?

FIRST BOUND OF VOGUE JUST CAME OUT.

THERE'S AN ARTICLE ON CANTEEN CHIC,

JUST LIKE WE HAVE IN OUR NEXT ISSUE.

IT'S OBVIOUSLY A LEAK.

ANOTHER LEAK?

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? THIRD ISSUE IN A ROW THIS HAS HAPPENED.

THEN IT'S NOT A COINCIDENCE.

THERE MUST BE A YURI.

WHAT'S A YURI?

A SPY, YOU IDIOT! MATA HARI,

ETHAN HUNT, JAMES BOND, ALDRICH AMES.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME SHE ATE?

SHE HAD AN APPLE A FEW DAYS AGO.

SHE SHOULD BE FINE.

SO IT'S JUST THE TRAUMA FROM THE ARTICLE?

MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE HER SHOES OFF OR SOMETHING?

OH! EW!

OH, MY GOD!

WHERE ARE MY SHOES?

YOUR SHOES.

WE SHOULD GET OUT OF HERE.

TOO MANY YEARS ON POINT, YOU KNOW.

BALLET.

OH, MY GOSH! I'M SO SORRY!

DON'T WORRY, JOCELYN.

HOW'D YOU KNOW MY NAME?

UMM... GEE, I DON'T KNOW.

OH, THIS IS PAUL ROCHESTER, DEPUTY ART DIRECTOR.

UH, HELLO.

WELL, UM...

HAVE A NICE TOUR.

ALL RIGHT.

- THANKS. - OKAY. UM...

YOU GO-- I'LL-- YOU GO THAT WAY.

Rocky: WHERE TO NOW?

THE BEAUTY DEPARTMENT.

WHAT? WHAT IS IT?

WHORE.

WHO?

WHORE IS HERE.

ROXANNE ROCHET?

NO, NOT THAT WHORE. THE NAIL ENAMEL!

WHORE!

WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

IT MEANS "FUCK ME BUT RESPECT ME.

WORSHIP MY BODY,

BUT THE UPKEEP IS GONNA BE COSTLY.

STRIKE ME, SPURN ME, TREAT ME AS BUT YOUR SPANIEL!

I'M YOUR DOG, AND I'M GONNA BREAK THE LICK LAWS!"

OKAY, CALM DOWN, CORNELIA. ARF, ARF.

I'M SORRY. IT JUST TRANSPORTS ME

TO A DIRTY CORNER OF 42nd STREET, PRE-DISNEY.

OH, TSS! HUSSY!

I ADORE THE SHADE.

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU

AND WHAT DO WE CARE WHAT YOU THINK?

WHAT ARE YOU, AN INTERN?

YES.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT LAST INTERN?

HAD THESE BIG BUG EYES,

LOOKED LIKE COURTNEY COX ON CHEMO, HA HA!

HEY, LET ME GIVE YOU

ALWAYS WEAR BLACK,

AND YOU'RE NEVER FINISHED SHITTING

UNTIL YOU PISS AGAIN.

REMEMBER THAT, AND YOU'LL BE FINE HERE.

OKAY, THANKS. I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.

I'M JUST BUSTING YOUR BALLS!

- OUT LOUD! - COME ON!

I LIKE HER VIBE, THOUGH.