The Cruise (Rejs)

CRUISE

NO TICKETS

Screenplay

Starring

Citizen. . .

a black flag today. . .

signifies total ban on swimming.

In case of a sudden cramp. . .

apply the first aid regulations.

Music

Don't struggle with current. . . Keep strong and stay calm.

Try to stay on the surface.

Inform the lifeguard. . .

carrying a cap with a letter "B" on it.

Don't swim near unguarded beaches,

as nobody will see you drowning.

Attention, attention. Water is a dangerous element.

Lifeguard Karas Kazimierz. . .

is requested to return to his post immediately.

Director of Photography

Directed by

- Do you have a ticket? - Of course not.

- And you? - I don't have it either.

- So let's enter anyway. - Of course.

Sorry, but I'm not from here and I got lost.

To the city center straight? And to the right?

- Or to the left. - OK.

- Thank you very much. - Excuse me, sir!

To the city, I should go across the river, right?

I'm sorry, I'm not from here.

- Phew. . . - What?

One more control.

Not good. Not good.

- Wait, wait. . . No! Good ! - Why good?

We'll board like the man with the box, officially.

"With a box?"

Let's pretend we have some business here!

Excuse me! Excuse me!

- Officially. - What do you mean?

On the ship.

John, these two men want to see the captain ! Officially!

Take care of them or. . . Something of this kind.

You know what?

They're taking us for someone who was to come here with some business.

Any criminal record?

Nope.

Any foreign languages?

- Do you know any? - Which one?

Never mind which one. Just foreign.

- No, I don't know any. - I don't know.

Even a little bit?

Well a bit. . . the one, how is it called. . .

- French. - Education?

Maybe here, you know. . . here on the cheek.

Profession performed. learnt?

- I graduated from high school. - Very well. All right.

You know, we had one student. . .

You know, a student. Studied geography. So what? Even nice. . .

Yeah, in fact he was very nice. But you know, on water. . .

You need to be. . . you know. . .

Marital status - YES. Material status - YES.

Citizenship - YES.

Nationality. . .

It's wonderful here. Wonderful. Wonderful.

Thank you.

Forest. . . forest. . . Fields, pasture. . . It's being mowed with a tractor.

Excuse me, is it yours?

- Yes. Why? - I'm so sorry.

He behaved very badly. He deprived me of my meal.

- It's impossible. - I'm very sorry.

- I'm engineer Mamon. - I'm very sorry, Sidorowski.

Have a look. . . Come here. . .

Look, how beautiful it is.

My wife. Christine.

- Ms Mamon. - I'm very sorry, Sidorowski.

What have you done, Wojtek?

Yeah. . . Yes.

Wonderful. . . It's wonderful here.

Bundles of hay. . . Cows are eating. . .

Houses with eaves.

Oh ! A tethered dog. . .

Yeah. . . Yeah.

In these circumstances, admiring the beauty of the nature. . . Unique. . .

Did you close all the windows in our apartment?

Damn deckchair.

Drought wrought great havoc.

Raspberries are over.

What do you see there?

A horse. . . a cow, a hen, a duck. . .

A hen. a duck, poultry. . .

In these circumstances, admiring the beauty of the nature. . .

And uhm. . . And unique. . .

If you let me. . . And you as well. . .

I'll go and pick up my wife.

Oh !

That's it! I see it!

A road, probably to Ostroleka.

What was that guy's name? It started with Si. . Si. . .

No! Impossible it started with Si. . .

It's wonderful here. . . Really wonderful.

I'm very sorry. . . but my wife is very sorry because she's sleeping.

She fell ill, poor thing. In general she tends to have these things:

colic, liver, spleen. . .

Her leg. . .

What operettas have I played in? "The Haunted Manor", "Halka"

- "Jadzia the Widow" - Where are you hanging around?

- You got better, my poor thing. - The key, I'm hungry.

- I'll introduce you. - I'm pleased. Sidorowska.

Mamon.

- I'm Sidorowska, sir. - Mamon !

And this is our son. . . Romek!

Well, me, for example, I don't go to the theatre at all.

We go everywhere, sir. Theatre, cinema. shows. . .

Recently together with my wife, sir, we went to. . . shopping mall. . .

And I had my camera ZORKA 5 with me. . .

So I took some photos. . .

I don't like going to the cinema.

Especially I don't like watching Polish movies. I'm simply bored.

Foreign movies, yes, I gladly watch.

Because foreign movies are ok. You know?

Somehow watching it, you know. . . I don't know. . .

You can feel it. Feel it simply. You know. . . Feel it.

And Polish movie, sir, is simply. . .

boring. . .

Nothing's going on, sir. Nothing.

That's true, sir. . .

Bad dialogues. . . Very bad dialogues in Polish films.

Sir. . .

No plot at all. Nothing's going on.

It's surprising they don't follow the foreign model.

You know, after all. . .

Take for example, sir, a foreign actor. . .

So this foreign actor, his face, you know, shows something. . .

It's difficult for me now to say, you know. . . It shows something. . .

You know, sir, what I'm talking about. And Polish actor, sir. . .

It's some void, sir. . . Nothing ! Absolutely nothing.

Let's say that Polish actor, sir. . .

Let's say he plays, yeah?

I saw once such a scene. . . For example, well, I don't know. . .

For example, he starts his cigarette.

He starts a cigarette. . .

And, sir, he looks like this: first into the right. .

Then he into left. . . And straight. . .

And nothing. . .

It drags on and on. . .

Simply it drags on. sir and there's no end to it.

I'm sitting in the cinema, sir. . . Do you understand?

And I'm looking at it. . . sitting and looking. sir. . . as usual. . .

So I'm looking and looking. . .

And, sir, I feel like leaving. . . the cinema. . . And I'm leaving. . .

And, sir, who pays for this? You, sir. . . You. madam . . .

We pay. . . It's our money, sir. . .

- Society. - The entire society pay, sir. . .

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to introduce our new friend,

who will cruise together with us.

I think. . .

He'll be in charge of: entertainment, culture and art.

If you cooperate with him you'll be satisfied.

Good luck.

We know each other very little. . .

So maybe I'd say something about myself, first.

I was born. . .

I was born in Malkinia. . . in 1937. . .

in July. . .

Well. I mean. in the middle of July. . . In fact in the second half of July. . .

17th of July exactly.

Yeah. . .

So that'll be all about myself at the beginning. . .

Do you have any questions?

At every meeting it's always the same,

somebody has to start.

- Excuse me, may I? - Of course.

I have a certain question.

- We're listening. - But I don't know if I may?

Yes, you may, you may. Absolutely, go ahead.

I'd like to swap beds. I have such a situation. . .

You know, sir, I'm surprised you come up with such a problem.

I only wanted to ask.

And with whom, sir, would you like to swap your bed?

With nobody. There's an empty bed beside mine. . .

Much better and wider. . .

- How do you know that? - I tried it.

Well, yes. So. . .

As a matter of fact, I can tell you that. . .

In fact you can swap. I mean. . .

You cannot.

I think so.

So I'm to sleep on the one. . . that has been given to me.

No. I mean. . . Which one are you sleeping on now?

The one that is. . .

That is on the left when I enter the cabin.

OK. Mine is on the right.

I'd like to introduce myself. . . I'm engineer Mamon.

Ladies and gentlemen.

I'm not against meetings, on the contrary,

I hide no grudge against them but. . .

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Miss Mamon.

Nobody is forcing us to sit here, on the contrary,

I'm sitting here of pure pleasure.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to say something about