Robot Chicken

>> HEE HEE HEE!

>> IT'S ALIVE!

>> IT'S ALIVE!

[CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP]

>> "ROBOT CHICKEN" SMILEY MEALS?

ALL RIGHT, MOM!

>> YOU'RE SITTING IN THAT CHAIR UNTIL YOU FINISH ALL YOUR FRIES.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, CORPORATE AMERICA.

"ROBOT CHICKEN" IS READY TO SELL OUT.

>> THIS HUMPING ROBOT BACK MASSAGER REALLY HITS THE SPOT.

>> AVAILABLE FOR PARTIES.

>> DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

>> DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT!

>> FIRST WORDS!

>> AVAILABLE FOR MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES.

>> SUCCESSFUL OFFICE SYNERGY MEANS BREAKING DOWN THE PARADIGM

BETWEEN THE CAN-DO CHICKADEES AND THE CAN'T CROWS.

>> I'VE BEEN MOTIVATED BY HIS SPEECH.

>> AVAILABLE FOR ESCORT AND PERSONAL MASSAGE.

>> MADAME, ARE YOU READY TO

LEVEL UP?

WHEE!

>> AVAILABLE FOR MERCHANDISING.

>> WITH MY OFFICIAL EAGLE EYE SMITH BB GUN, I'M A CHAMPION.

>> MY EYE!

>> AWESOME!

>> NOW, THAT'S A DOUCHE I CAN TRUST.

>> "ROBOT CHICKEN"--WE'RE READY TO SELL OUT.

>> THIS PEACE TREATY WILL FINALLY END THE VIOLENCE BETWEEN

THE ISRAELI AND THE PALESTINIAN PEOPLE.

>> MR. PRIME MINISTER, LET US SIGN.

HERE?

>> I DON'T KNOW, BUT THOSE GIRLS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY.

FANTA HELPS YOU KEEP COMPOSURE THERE'S NO PORK, YOU JEWS

IT'S KOSHER FANTA TASTES SO MEDIOCRE

REALLY SOMETHING ELSE.

>> HEY, WHERE'S THE TREATY?

>> WHERE'S MY WALLET?

>> AND WHERE ARE MY PANTS?

>> SO...ARE YOU GONNA RAPE ME TONIGHT?

>> I HAVE A HEADACHE.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

>> FINE.

>> BE GOOD.

>> GOOD-BYE, E.T.

>> E.T. HOME.

>> OH, MY GOD, LOOK, EVERYONE.

THAT RETARD WE DITCHED ON EARTH SOMEHOW FOUND HIS WAY HOME.

>> E.T. PHONED HOME.

>> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING YOURSELF E.T. FOR, SPAZ?

YOUR NAME IS KLEBORP, KLEBORP THE RETARD.

>> KLEBORP THE RETARD WITH ONLY ONE GLOWING FINGER.

>> HA HA!

>> HA HA HA!

>> OH, NOW YOU'RE ING DEAD.

>> AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

>> AND THIS TIME, STAY LOST, LOSER!

>> >> FRIEND.

>> OUR HOUSE IS GONNA HAVE THE BEST PUMPKINS ON THE BLOCK.

>> HA HA!

SCHNEIDERMAN, YOU SUCK AT CARVING PUMPKINS.

>> WHO'S THE FREAK?

>> SCHNAAGH.

>> HA HA HA!

>> QUIET. TRICK-OR-TREATERS.

>> TRICK OR TREAT.

SMELL MY FEET.

>> NOW, NOW. BE NICE.

>> MILF. HA HA HA! MILF, MILF.

>> QUIET.

>> MILF. HA HA!

HEY, DID YOU GET A LOAD OF THAT MILF, RETARD?

>> YEAH.

>> HA HA HA! YOU IDIOT.

>> OH, NO! BOYS.

>> HA HA! TRICK OR TREAT.

SMELL MY ASS.

>> SHUT UP, DUDE.

LET'S JUST SMASH THEM.

>> HOLY ING ASS CRACKERS.

FOR GOD'S SAKES, RETARD, CALL FOR HELP.

>> NNGAH NNGAGH.

>> UGH...

>> THAT IS SO FOUL.

>> HA HA! YEAH!

HOPE THEY ENJOY THEIR CRAP-O'-LANTERN.

>> OH, OH. SMASH THE OTHER ONE.

>> LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY ALREADY SMASHED IT.

>> HA HA HA!

PUMPKIN CRAP IS THE BEST.

>> HEE HEE! HA HA!

>> SHUT UP.

>> HEE HEE!

>> JIM, I'M GONNA NEED 300 COPIES OF YOUR ASS BY THE 4:00

MEETING...

>> YES, SIR.

>> AND TRY TO KEEP YOUR BALLS OFF THE GLASS THIS TIME.

>> YES, SIR.

>> NOW!

>> YES, SIR.

>> THE BEST SPACESHIP EVER WOULD FLY OUT IN SPACE.

IT WOULD HAVE FINS LIKE A SHARK AND A CLOWN FOR A FACE.

ITS WINGS HAVE PROPELLERS.

ITS SAILS CATCH THE BREEZE.

IT RUNS ON MARSHMALLOWS, AND ITS WHEELS ARE SKIS.

THE PILOT IS BRAVE.

HE DRINKS LIKE MY DAD.

HE RARELY TAKES SHOWERS AND YELLS WHEN HE'S MAD.

>> BILLY, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS DAMN THING?

THE STEERING WHEEL IS A FRICKIN' PRETZEL, DAMN IT.

HOLY .

>> THEN IT PLUNGES STRAIGHT INTO THE SUN, AND THAT BASTARD IS

NEVER HEARD FROM AGAIN.

>> WHAT? BILLY.

BILLY, I'M BREAKING UP.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S A SAUNA IN HERE.

WHAT SMELLS LIKE BURNT MARSHMALLOWS?

DEAR GOD, I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I'VE EVER--

>> AND THAT'S THE BEST SPACESHIP

EVER.

>> WHOO!

>> YAY!