My Adventures with Santa

Christmastime, as we all know,

is, without a doubt, the most wonderful time of the year.

For many hundreds of years,

kids, parents, grandmas and grandpas,

even pets wait with bated breath

for Christmas morning to arrive with all its magical splendor.

So many stories about Santa's adventures and his trusty elves

have been told throughout the years,

but there's one tale that has yet to be revealed.

Have we found a new head for our stocking stuffer division?

Everyone already has a job, so I'm not sure who.

We need more stocking stuffers.

What can we do?

Are you sure this gauge is working correctly?

There is no problem with it. It works just fine.

It's at an all-time low. Even the elves are feeling it.

-More hot cocoa? -Can't you see I'm busy?

Go away.

Well, then, more hot cocoa and cookies.

-Double the order. -I have.

I said, go away!

-Uh, triple the order. -I have, Santa.

- -Ooh!

Tight-ee tights, tight-ee tights, tight-ee tights,

tight-ee tights, tight-ee tights, tight-ee tights!

-Tight-ee tights! -Tight-ee tights, tight-ee tights!

-Tight-ee tights! -Tight-ee tights!

Sweet.

Here you go.

Ah.

I put an extra pinch of cocoa and two cookies.

I know it's not a cheat day, but I thought you could use it.

-I was-- -La Befana's coming for the globe.

Oh, pish!

She comes every year to steal the globe,

and just like every year, the EAF will stop her.

Her power increases as the Christmas spirit declines.

If it gets any lower,

there'll be no stopping her.

Oh, boo-hoo.

Go cry about it, you big baby.

You knew someday things would turn my way,

and this is my year.

I will finally get mine and put an end to Christmas...

forever.

It's our beautiful house, kids.

- Yay! - We're home!

We're home. Let's do this.

Can I help get the tree down?

Can I help too?

You guys can both help.

The beginning of a beautiful Christmas, kids.

There we go.

Whoa!

Dad, you all right?

- -

Aces, buddy. Just aces.

Valerie, it's late. We're waiting for you.

What do you mean?

Because I can barely hear you over the music.

[Christmas carols playing faintly]

No, you never told me anything about a Christmas party.

Oh, a surprise, huh?

I'll tell you what, Val, it's just not-- No, it's not fair.

Kids, I'll be right back.

-I guess we start without him. -

-We should wait. -You can.

"Jen, 2014, first year playing soccer, undefeated."

You wanna hang it or not?

Well, you know that we're decorating

the Christmas tree tonight, right?

I still have a lot of work to do here.

I have to retouch a bunch of photos.

Honey, I know. I'm sorry.

But I have to make this deadline.

Okay, Val. I'll see you soon.

- -

Oh, there she is!

Just the talented photographer I was looking for.

I can't.

Of course you can.

Big news.

We're gonna be shooting P&J's entire spring catalog!

What? Really?

Can you believe it?

That's amazing!

Get your retouches done, get it in on time,

and I promise, the next job,

six figures.

Thank you.

Enchanté!

- Hey, Dad? -

I'm sorry, bud.

Your pop's been a little bit wacky lately.

Josh, your mom and I have been working long hours.

Wanna play catch?

Isn't it a little bit past your bedtime?

Well, I guess.

All right.

-Hey, bud. -Yeah?

Remember those distributors we met down at Comic-Con?

Yeah?

I sent them the game

and they seem pretty interested.

-No way! -Yeah.

That's so great!

Fingers crossed?

Fingers crossed.

-I love you. -Love you too.

Night, Dad.

Night.

- - Hi, honey.

Hey, Val.

It's almost midnight.

I know. I'm so sorry.

But I have some great news.

We were asked to shoot P&J's spring catalog.

-"We"? -With David and I.

And it's big money, Josh.

Big, huh?

Yeah, like six figures big, and David, he's amazing with the clients.

We got six weeks in Bermuda,

three weeks in Puerto Rico, tropical theme.

I mean, can you believe it?

No, actually, that's nine weeks.

Yeah, and then we have, you know, four weeks of prep, but...

Why are you looking at me like that?

Are you kidding me, Val?

Thirteen weeks is a long time to be away.

I mean, you didn't even want a job.

The only reason you got one is 'cause I lost mine.

You know they decorated the tree all by themselves?

You know what? That's not fair.

Yeah, you're right. It's not fair.

Oh, dear.

Bollowillow!

Oh!

Well, these photos are horrible.

No wonder everyone thinks Santa isn't real.

Always hiding out in the North Pole.

You know, what he needs is a good publicist.

My sister has a friend who has a friend

who dated a guy in Los Angeles...

-Oh! -...who has a friend that's a publicist.

Can you introduce me?

They get to go to the best parties.

Yes, with Santa clearly on his way out,

I wanna make a big splash,

I want the whole world to know that La Befana is taking over.

- -La Befana!

What is it? I'm monologuing.

You said to let you know when Santa is up to no good.

And?

He's up to no good.

So let's talk diversion. What we do is be careful now.

To make sure...

Oh, I can't tell what he's doing.

I need a spy. Go get Franklin Mint.

Uh, you had him locked in the basement with the rest of us

'cause you couldn't tell us apart.

Well, go get him out!

The jolly fat man is obviously up to no good

and I don't like the smell of it.

Well, it wasn't me.

Yo, who you playing with? I'll slap you upside your head.

Okay, enough!

Go get Franklin Mint out of the basement

and send him to the North Pole.

Look... Undercover.

I need to know what's going on in that holly jolly noggin.

¶ We wish you A Merry Christmas ¶

¶ We wish you A Merry Christmas ¶

¶ And a Happy New Year ¶

¶ Good tidings we bring ¶

Move it, try-hard.

Whoa!

Hey! Cut it out, bro.

Or what, bro?

Or I'll let my sister loose on you.

And trust me, you don't want any part of that.

Oh, yeah? What's a girl gonna do?

Touch her, I'll break your arm off.

I know kung fu.

Whatever, newb.

Thanks, bro.

Yeah. I'm bored. Let's go.

¶ We wish you A Merry Christmas ¶

Hey, kid, you can get off that glass now.

¶ And a Happy New Year ¶

¶ Good tidings we bring ¶

- -The globe is out.

What?

The globe is out.

I can't hear you.