The Brokenwood Mysteries

Hey! Dude, come on!

You can't lie on the field where you're blocking the...

No way.

What the hell?

Blunt force trauma.

Hey, Todd, you alright?

Do you want to sit down for a minute?

The circle... The crop circle.

What are you saying?

Aliens made a crop circle.

Jacob's lying in the center of an alien crop circle,

but on grass, not crop.

You know this person?

No... Well, only that his name is Jacob.

He runs, uh, Jacob's Burgers in town.

And the circle...

what makes you think it's alien-made?

Because there's an Aliens Are People Too convention in town,

and now he's lying dead in the center of alien crop circle.

Back home, many people are found dead on crop circles,

but we call them spirit circles.

Because spirits rather than aliens made them?

No. Because they died from overconsumption of vodka.

They pickled their livers.

Of course.

This your ball, Todd?

Uh... yeah, it is.

And where were you when you hit this?

- You think my ball killed Jacob? - It's possible.

Nah. They came before me.

- Who's they? - Aliens.

He's dead center, dead on a crop circle.

Hey, Todd, are you high?

No. I've told you, I don't smoke that stuff anymore,

except that one time that I completely forgot about

- until you just triggered me! - Okay, Todd.

What's with all the alien stuff?

What more evidence do you want?

- He's dead in a crop circle. - Crop circle.

Yeah, okay. We got it.

Oh, oh!

Uh...

Oh. Uh, can I go?

What's so important?

Oh, I'm training for speed golf.

Every four hours, I have to hit nine holes.

I've got the last one to go.

Speed golf?

Yeah. Three clubs, one ball, fast as you can.

That's for my niece's school fundraiser.

So, uh, this alien convention, where is it?

At the Croc. Hey, uh, I got to go.

- My ball? - No.

Hi, Jacob.

You seem to have come unstuck on the 13th hole.

Truly unlucky for some.

Gina, safe to say

that the victim died from his head injury?

Nothing is safe, Mike,

not when he's lying in a circle of death.

Best we get a grass sample.

I am a pathologist, not a greenkeeper.

Unless there are possible links surrounding his cause of death

and any chemical compound found on the vegetation.

Certainly, Mike.

Good thinking.

Well, I need a coffee.

Her name is Alfie Gingernuts.

You have a pig.

He's not a dolphin, is he?

Well, it's just a pig on a golf course.

It's not what you'd expect. That's all.

Well, he's a guard pig.

People who tell you that dog is a man's best friend

have never felt the love of a pig.

And I don't mean my ex-husband when I say that.

Cop, are you?

DC Chalmers, Brokenwood CIB.

I'd like to ask you a few questions

regarding this morning's incident.

Grimm. Janet Grimm.

You'd better come in.

How did you know Jacob Lewis?

He'd be here about three times a week,

usually first thing.

But not to play golf.

Why do you say that?

Because he didn't have any golf clubs with him.

Hmm.

Never played golf. He isn't a member.

Did you see him this morning?

No, I didn't see him.

What did he do here?

Good question. I used to ask him.

He'd say he was going for a walk.

He'd be hanging out in the trees.

The other members used to complain about him lurking.

Theory was, he was a voyeur of sorts.

A golf voyeur?

Weird, eh?

Most people watch it on TV.

Then again, he's a chef...

Well, he says he's a chef.

Gourmet burgers? Really?

All chefs are a bit weird.

You have a greenkeeper?

Natasha.

Best in the biz.

Okay. Uh, thanks for your help.

And the 13th fairway

will have to stay closed for a while.

Didn't expect you two to be UFO aficionados.

It's always good to keep an open mind.

Bad one about Jacob Lewis.

Wow. Word spreads fast around here.

Thanks, Frodes. Put it on the tab.

Inspector?

Uh, Detective Senior Sergeant, actually.

Uh, Mike Shepherd.

Uh, Detective Kristin Sims, Brokenwood CIB.

Zelda Belfan, President of Aliens Are People Too... AAPT.

- AAPT? - Yes.

And I believe I can help you with your investigation.

You have some information?

From the account that I've been given,

it sounds very much like a failed alien abduction.

The human body found

at the dead center of the crop circle is the tell.

Well, at this stage, it's still too early to conclude

whether or not the circle is in fact a crop circle.

Oh, but most likely, "for sure."

Oh, sorry. How rude of me.

This is Christopher, a fellow member of AAPT.

Christopher Kramer? Yeah, we've met.

Oh? Um, I don't think so.

It was a few years ago, with regards to the Deschler Clinic.

Hmm. No, I can't say I recall.

Uh, well, it was a long time ago.

Christopher!

Well, maybe that does vibrate a faint frequency.

But the more important thing is you understand

who you're in the company of.

Now, if you need expert advice on alien abduction,

Zelda's our guiding light on anything extraterrestrial.

Oh, Christopher, please.

Tell them. Go on.

It was 2010. I was 22.

And I was abducted by an alien spacecraft.

The experience gave me a intimate understanding

of alien life form.

The cosmic beings and I...

communed, shall we say,

connected on a very deep level,

several times.

It was phenomenal.

My life changed forever.

And from that, I have a theory which explains how your man...

Jacob, is it? Might have died.

Follow me.

Z-Zelda is my fiancée.

Wow. Go, you.

No, no, no. Not "go you."

This is serious. It's a committed relationship.

- Okay. - So look.

That guy you used to know, the old Christopher...

he's history, okay?

And new Christopher... he's got it together.

New Christopher is trying hard and succeeding

to be a fully integrated member of society.

New Christopher is the only Christopher that Zelda knows.

Christopher.

New Christopher, fully integrated.

Got it.

The convention is in the ballroom.

New AAPT members?

Why am I not surprised?

Trudy.

Oh. Looking great. Kirk.

Keep it up.

Thanks.

Brokenwood is in close proximity

to Earth's magnetic south pole.

Magnetic radiation passing overhead from the pole

can disrupt an alien craft's navigation system.

That's right. Um, alien planets may not have magnetic poles,

so aliens wouldn't think to have polar navigational offsets.

If the vessel descended too quickly

with its door prematurely open,

then it's likely that the leading edge of the door

struck the man's head, like so.

It's got aborted alien abduction written all over it.

It's a AAA event.

Uh, did either of you know Jacob Lewis?

Know him? I don't think so.

I'm... I'm vegan.

It's interesting

that you're holding a convention in Brokenwood

and then a AAA event occurs.

It's more than interesting. It's reinforcing.

I'm constantly communing with cosmic beings,