Superstore

.

Evening. What can I get you?

Oh, just the usual.

Another long haul tonight?

Oh, roger that, little honey.

You know, talking on the CB,

you know, pulling the little string to beep the horn.

You know, uh, you've been coming in here

every night since I started here,

so I just wanted to let you know

that tonight is my last night.

Really? Uh, where you going?

Back to my old job. This was just temporary.

A few months ago,

a coworker and I were suspended for...

I don't need to hear the details!

Thank you.

I've got this manager,

great guy.

Aw.

I bet he misses you.

I bet he would have done anything

to see you while you were gone.

He was allowed to see me if he wanted.

Yeah... better safe than sorry.

You know, um...

Well, I better get back to the big rig.

You know, the road is calling.

Thanks for the company.

Yep, and, um...

thank you for always tipping 20 bucks

on a $2 coffee that you never drink.

Yeah... ten-four, good buddy.

Hope I get to see you around sometime.

Who knows?

Might be sooner than you think.

Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers...

it's "back to school" time,

so check out our discounts on notebooks,

pencils, art supplies, rulers,

dictionaries, weekly planners, and calculators.

Or you guys can just use your phones for all that stuff.

At least Black Friday's only a day.

This... this is two weeks

of watching ugly kids try on pants.

And I cannot wait for all the crap

we're gonna get for our sex tape.

- - Was it a sex tape?

'Cause it wasn't on tape.

It was more like a sex stream.

Oh, no, sex stream's something else.

That involves a stepladder and a tarp.

Everyone's gonna be like,

"Oh, better keep these two out of the photo lab."

Or like, "Uh, why aren't you guys together now?"

Is that supposed to be me?

What? No.

Oh, okay.

Why aren't you guys together now?

Like, if some dummy asks that question...

what would you say to her?

I don't know... for starters,

the fact that I'm extremely pregnant

with my ex-husband's child is not a great time

to start a new relationship.

I'm not letting my pregnancy slow me down.

I'm banging my way through my whole indoor-soccer team...

and the refs.

If you do decide to have sex again,

just check for cameras.

We're not...

Or have sex on a green sheet.

That way, you can superimpose yourself

doing it on a magic carpet or in outer space.

Bo did that for our anniversary.

The bed of my truck is always available.

I'm happy to drive around the whole time.

Less likely somebody will film you.

These are all excellent ideas, thank you.

So Amy and Jonah are back.

That's got to be a real kick in your crotch.

No, it's fine.

I mean, I thought that it would feel weird

to see Jonah again,

but I actually think that I'm over it.

You're over it.

That's boring.

Uh...

thanks for checking in, though!

Okay. So, Sara, I need you to keep cycling out the bins.

Mateo, if you could move salvage off the floor,

you can just stick it in the...

in the p-photo lab.

Photo lab. Okay, you got it.

Okay. Um...

Carol and Justine, I'm moving you to school supplies.

We need to keep everything organized this year,

or we're gonna get screwed.

Okay. Sorry, that was a poor choice of words.

- School supplies! Got it. - Sure thing, Amy.

Okay...

Um...

let's just make sure that everything is restocked

at all times.

We... we don't want to get caught with our pants down.

- Mm. - Mm.

Huh.

What's so funny?

No, nothing's funny. Nothing's funny.

This is going so much better than I thought.

You're literally just reading words off a clipboard.

Oh, hey, no, no, no, no, no.

Have you met J-Bone?

Oh, we're calling you J-Bone now?

This makes me happy.

- This guy shreds ass. - Mm-hmm.

You want to learn how to shred ass, you go see J-Bone.

I-I'm not... there's... better people.

Hey! So give us the scoop, J-Bone.

Sex with Amy, was it awesome?

You know, I...

we don't really need to talk about this.

Why? 'Cause the sex sucked?

It did kind of look like it sucked.

No, it didn't suck. It...

Yeah! I knew it! I knew it didn't suck!

Oh, yeah! Yeah, baby!

You get it, girl. - Yeah! In and out!

Your body is a wonderland!

You're enjoying this sex, aren't you?

Mateo!

Ugh. He's back.

Oh, he's such a thirsty bitch.

I know...

Hey, there he is!

At first, I was like, "Is that Mateo or the Rock?"

Hi, Jeff.

What brings you to the store... again?

Yeah, for someone who works at corporate,

you're here a lot.

Well, I'm not gonna forget about my peeps

just 'cause I got promoted.

I mean, I can still stop by now and then.

Isn't it, like, a five-hour drive from Chicago?

Not on a corporate jet.

Which I didn't take this time,

but I have seen the corporate jet.

Really cool wings.

Anyway, uh, if you guys ever wanted to come visit me,

I'd love to show you around Chi-Town.

They've got some great museums, I think,

and, you know, if it's a fun night,

I've got a big place, you could stay over...

Jeff, I've moved on.

Okay, I've moved on, too.

God, get over yourself.

I am doing very well.

So, anyways, let me give you guys my business card.

Just give me a call for... any reason is fine, of course.

I'm always here to help.

Are you not gonna...

Only 'cause if...

I get a finite amount, and they eventually...

It starts to come out of my paycheck.

You know, I'm gonna go ahead and take it back now. Okay.

Well, well, look at you, back at it, huh?

God, no one can stack things in a pile

like my gal Amy.

You know, I thought it was going to be

nonstop people talking about the... incident.

But no one's even mentioning it.

Of course not.

There's no need for people to bring up something

that you're already embarrassed about.

Yeah, but when we found out.

Gene was having sex on his lunch break,

people called him Sex-Ma-Gene for a year.

I mean, it barely made sense, but it stuck.

Yeah. I know, but come on, that's different,

Sex-Ma-Gene's a guy. It's less embarrassing for him.

Um... that's... that's sexist.

No. No. No, no, no, I-I did not mean that

in a sexist way.

What you're saying is that

no one is talking to me about the whole sex thing

because they think, as a woman,

I must be filled with shame about it.

Maybe...

or maybe I'm wrong!

I don't know. I mean, things are changing.

I haven't really caught up with this whole MeToo thing.

All I know is that one day Charlie Rose was there,

and the next day he wasn't.

.

- Hey. - Hey.

Are people talking to you about the sex tape?

Oh, my God, it's nonstop.

No one has said anything to me.

Oh. That's cool.

No. It sucks.