Wellington Paranormal

We're currently responding to a shoplifting incident

which may or may not be paranormal in origin.

That's right. As my partner has pointed out, we're currently attending a shoplifting incident

that may or may not be paranormal in origin.

You just said word for word what I said.

As my partner has pointed out, I just repeated exactly what she said, so...

Urn, so, just let us know - what happened, again? Right from the start.

The food from the shelves - it's gone.

Excuse me, sir? It's just like it, like, stole itself.

What kind of food was it? just, like, chippies.

Two packs of chippies. Chippies. Two times chippies.

Yeah. I- So, when you say 'stole itself', what do you mean?

I'd say it just, like, floated off the shelves, just like that, out of the door.

When you say 'floated out of the door', do you mean you ate them? No. I was standing right here...

Right....and the chips were just right there, and just gone, like that.

Right. Cos I've had chippies before and they've been gone just like that,

but then it's turned out I've eaten them.

Yeah, but that's different to floating. We're just, obviously, trying to ascertain how

a packet of chippies could, in fact, float.

Look- Look at the chips! Like, they're just floating.

Freeze! Get 'em, O'Leary!

I'm pursuing the chippies! Chips are escaping.

In pursuit. In pursuit. Freeze. Freeze!

They're in the road.

Do you have a theory?

Tell him our theory. Is this the bird one? Yep.

OK, it's not our theory; it's his theory. So, there's a theory that

these birds have walked into the shop,

they've gotten into chippie packets - their own chippie packets -

they've eaten the potato chips, they've been startled, and they've begun flying around in the dairy.

We talked about this theory. Yup. That wings would have to be

on the outside. But there's room in the empty chip packet,

because all of the chippies are gone.

It doesn't make any sense, Minogue. They're not in a vacuum any longer.

It's a work in progress, but it's a theory. It's not gonna work.

We should maybe think of another possible avenue.

- I thought maybe telekinesis. - Those guys are so annoying.

They always call when you're eating your dinner. Every time. That's, urn, telemarketers.

Telekinesis, Minogue, or psychokinesis, is the ability to move objects with one's mind.

Wow.

Wh-What are you doing, Sarge? Nothing.

Let's go see if we can enhance the CCTV footage.

All right, are you coming, Sarge? Yep. Yep.

Parker, we're in need of some of your IT expertise.

Can you enhance this footage?

Um, I can make it bigger. Yes, but can you enhance it?

Well, you just have to do this.

Good. Good. Enhance again.

And enhance. That's as far as it goes.

OK. Can you zoom it in for me? Um...

Yeah. Zooming. And again.

Zooming. I'm zooming too, so-

Back, back, back! Back, back. Back it up.

And freeze-frame. Have a look at this, guys.

Pan left.

Hang on. Look at that! Coconut yoghurt?

No, no, no, not that - in the reflection.

Somebody's there. I know that uniform. That's my old school uniform.

Well, how did they get it? That's just the same as my old school uniform.

It looks like O'Leary was right - telekinesis.

Also, you didn't hear any of this, Parker, all right?

Delete.

Let's go.

So, we're here at the school. Yeah, we've got a really solid lead on who stole the chippies.

Yeah, it could be one of the approximately 840 students that goes here.

That's right, so we're gonna meet with the principal and see if she can shed some light on the subject

and inform us if any of her students have been exhibiting telekinetic powers of late.

Was this an all-girls' school when you went? Yeah..

That must've been stink.

If this is about the library, everything's absolutely fine.

No problem at all, really. No, no, we're not here about that, ma'am.

What happened to the library?

Just a little implosion, just in a very unpopular section of books,

and no students were harmed in any way, shape or form.

Don't you mean ex-plosion? No. No.

An explosion's big, damaging. This was just very self-contained -

a little pop, really. just, um, something to really just keep under our hats.

This is the library, isn't it? I remember. Yes,

b- but, um, do you really wanna go in there? Yep.

I'm taking it this is the site of the 'implosion',

as you called it. Yes, just a little pop. just a little pop.

Well, I mean, I'd say maybe it's a bit more than that, wouldn't you? No. No, no, no.

No. Really. I mean, look, it's made quite a big mess.

I'd say it's definitely more of a bang than a pop, wouldn't you? A bang?

No. A pop. This kind of mess around, you should have the doors...

It's a pop....closed and locked as well. I said it's a pop.

Also, we'd, you know, appreciate it if you don't shout at us, OK?

We're just trying to ascertain what's been going on here, and- I'm the principal of this school.

I understand that. I'm the one who's in charge here. Well, look, we're the police,

and actually, police are up here, see? But principals.

Well, they're not above the police, OK?

Police, teachers... I mean, we are the letter of the law.

I beg to disagree. Look, though - she's right, O'Leary.

Go again. Principals. Principals are there?

No, Minogue, that's- There. There. No, that's-

We're under the principal. It's metaphorical. I just think... Students...

...you need to show more respect for- ...teachers, police, principal.

I would put- The police are certainly up here, OK? Well, it's changed now.

That's different to what you had before. Yeah!

Well, I can't reach up that- You were there. Well, I'm not as tall as him, OK?

And that- Anyway-

I mean, should that book be doing that?

Like, flapping its pages like that?

Does get very breezy in here sometimes.

To be honest, Mrs Hopper, we're not really interested in libraries or in library books.

We're here because we're looking for a thief. What?

Possibly a bird. And O'Leary had her school uniform stolen.

OK, look, it wasn't literally my school uniform, but certainly, someone in a school uniform

that looked like it came from this school has been shoplifting in the area.

None of my girls would break the law, I can assure you, officers.

Everything is

totally fine! As it says on our award-winning school quilt.

Voila le quilt. As we've mentioned before,

the thieves that we are trying to find were wearing your school uniform.

Sorry, I can't hear you. Why can't you-?

She's saying that the person who committed the crime

was wearing the school uniforms from here.

Look, there seem to be a lot of injured students in your sick bay

at the moment. There are a lot.

I would appreciate it if you would just stay on topic -

or it's a detention for you, police officer or no.

I think the topic is that there are a lot of sick students in your sick bay.

I - I can't hear you.

Well, chop-chop. Time to go. Can I show you the door?

That'd be great. Thanks so much for coming.

Haere ra!

- She was absolutely... - ...lovely.

Really? Don't you think? Who were you listening to?

She was great. Antagonistic.

So, Zara Archer,

she called Anna Horton the B-word.

Is that right? Yeah, she did. . Yeah.

Yeah. And then Anna's retaliated, and she's called Zara

the E-word. Yeah.

Kia or a. Yo. Hi. We're just here, just asking a few questions of some of the students.

There's been a... you know, a little bit of shoplifting, and, um...

Heard of something about an implosion that maybe happened in your school library?

Not really. Um... Not... Not really?

Yeah. So, maybe, have you heard a little bit about it?

A lot of the books ruined -

um, burnt. Ruined? OK, right.

There was a few students quite smouldered - like, hair.

Smould-? Yeah, like... Smouldering hair?

Yeah, like- Smells terrible, doesn't it, that? Yeah.

Were you in the library when the implosion happened? No.

OK, so you've just heard about it from other students? Yeah.

Have you heard anything else - about stealing things? Not stealing things.

No? No.

There were a few things flying around in the, um, computer room yesterday -

just hovering. Like, some of the mouses and the keypads.

I - I think I've... I think I've said too much.

There's no such thing as too much talking to a police officer, OK? I- I ...

I just- I need to go. OK, all right. Thank you. Bye.

See, when I was a student here and you wanted the real information, you came to the girls' toilets.

I'm not going in. Why not? Cos it's a girls' toilet,

not a boys' toilet. Well, there is no boys' toilets at a girls' school.

Come on. I'm not gonna start going into girls' toilets at my age.

I'll go and do recon, OK? I'll check it's clear.

You let me know. Yep.

Hello? Anyone in here?

Yeah, Minogue, the toilets are empty. Over.

That was too fast. Over. Have a better look.

Look, there's no one in here. Over, Minogue.

I can see someone in there.

That's me, Minogue. just come into the toilet now, Minogue.

Travelling.

There's no urinal in here. It's a girls' toilet.

Look, this is what I'm talking about. 'Tash and Raz forever'?

I know Tash and Raz, and they've broken up. How do you know that?

Some of the girls were telling me about it. That needs updating. No. Wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing? You can't do that. That's graffitiing, OK? That's true.

It's illegal.

It's OK. Um...

We're just- We're the New Zealand Police.

What is that face?

Froze. Well, I know that. You freaked them out.

So, we're just here in the cubicle, waiting for, hopefully, some people to come in...

...and we should get some...

we should get some good information.

Just a waiting game. It still feels wrong being in here.

Faulty wiring.

EERIE, SING-SONG VOICES: We know you're in there!

Told you. We can see you!

Radio me when it's over.

You better come and see this, Minogue.

What is that? Well,

'eht raef sannairb'? What is that?

'Eht'... What is that?