Stripped

Greetings, my friend.

We are all interested in the future,

for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

And remember my friends,

future events such as these

will affect you in the future.

You are interested in the unknown,

the mysterious, the unexplainable.

That is why you are here.

And now for the first time, we are bringing to you

the full story of what happened on that fateful day.

We are giving you all the evidence

based only on the secret testimony

of the miserable souls

who survived this terrifying ordeal.

The incidents, the places,

my friend, we cannot keep as a secret any longer.

Let us punish the guilty.

Let us reward the innocent.

My friend, can your heart stand

the shocking facts about...

Only moments ago, after five long weeks of searching,

Capri Johnson was discovered just a few feet from here

on this deserted road, just outside of Reno, Nevada.

Thanks to an anonymous tip,

Channel 11 was first on the scene.

I must warn you the footage you are about to see

is extremely disturbing.

Sensitive viewers may not want to watch.

Cameron, what are you doing?

I'm just trying to find a condom, babe.

Get back into bed.

Oh, I'll be there.

Come on.

Get ready for the Cameron Townes Show, baby.

Hoo-hoowa. Mm-mm.

Oh, shit, I gotta go.

Wh-what?

Where are you going?

I'm gonna take my grandma to the Star Trek convention.

What the fuck, are you fucking recording me?

No, never.

Are you fucking serious? Shit!

Give me that camera back.

A bold remark, Miss Stewart.

Hello, my name is Cameron Townes.

And I'm working on a documentary

about the greatest 21st birthday trip to Las Vegas

in the history of 21st birthday...

Yo, brown bag special, shut it, man.

You're ruining your intro

to your birthday video.

No shit, I brought him

so you could have this to remember.

No shit, this is Graham, he's the birthday boy.

But I love this man.

Not... there's not many people out there that'll go out...

How is he related to this guy...

and do a full brown out in fucking Vegas!

Brown is the way to the woman's heart.

It is, I agree, I've done the brown out before.

My shoes are brown, as well.

They're made outta hemp.

Because... ...or a rapist.

One, you need to stop dressing like a boy scout

and two, you need to stop saying things

like, you know, it's not... But, this is actually...

How those are bong rips treating you up there?

Not, good there, Cameron.

Maybe that's because it's like,

eight in the morning or something.

You know what, smoking weed at eight in the morning

is actually the greatest thing ever invented.

Who, someone invented smoking weed at eight in the morning?

I think it might have been Freud.

Freud, Sigmund Freud.

Sigmund Freud, you mean Siegfried?

No, not... Siegfried and Roy...

Not the tiger, no, I'm talking about...

That's what we're going to see, dude.

You guys are fucking stupid.

- Did you get tickets for Siegfried and Roy? - Yes.

You got that in common, at least.

I think I smoked too much.

What?

Oh, shit.

I'm gonna fucking puke.

I'm not even on the road yet, dude. Don't puke in my car, dude.

What a fucking pussy.

I'm serious, don't puke in my car.

He's gonna blow, he's gonna blow.

Do what you want... puke.

Close.

Puke. Don't puke.

I'm actually gonna puke.

I know... puke.

I wanna see it.

Oh, shit!

What the fuck did you eat?

Something pink.

So,

Anyway,

As I was saying, I don't think I even need to give an intro

to the trip anything more after our buddy, Graham here

just set it up for us.

Let's go pick up Tommy Kay.

Ho, ho, ho, hee. That was good.

Cameron, you didn't say he fucking worked here.

What the fuck?

What's going on?

How are you all doing?

What's up with the camera?

Can you take five?

Tommy Kay, baby, the opposite of gay.

Get it straight.

Hey, can you take five? What?

Can you take five? We need to talk.

We gotta talk right now.

About what, how?

You guys are not going to get me fired from my job?

This shirt come with this job

or did you have to buy it yourself?

Tommy, Tommy, can you hear me?

Tommy Kay has no idea we're about to yank his ass

out of this job and take him to Vegas.

He says no...

You guys are gonna get me fired, bro.

Hop on, hop on.

Who's gonna see this?

You guys are gonna get me fired.

No, no, no.

Come on, let's go.

No, no, no, you're gonna get me fired, dude.

You 21?

Happy mother fuckin' birthday.

Don't stay too close 'cause it gives me a wide angle like,

distortion of my face.

We're going to Vegas.

You always do this, man.

I'm not going.

I'm not going. We're going to Vegas.

I'm not going.

Yeah, you are. Wanna see the move, man?

We're going. I am not going like this.

It's my fuckin' birthday.

We got you clothes, man, let's go.

Come on, Tommy, we don't have time, dude.

Let's do it!

You got Matt Hardy? You know it.

Even though I could pick up women with anything,

I don't wanna be, you know...

Stop that.

Why do I have my apron on right now?

It's all right, you're fired already.

Just keep it.

Dude, your dad better give me a job then.

I'm not playing.

Just keep that hair net on all night.

Take it off. Oh, shit.

You got gel?

Yeah, we got gel. Where's the gel?

Projectile vomited.

Like, all over the street.

Almost in the car, we almost had to kick his ass.

It was like gray and amber, dude.

How'd he throw up?

I don't know, I guess I smoked too much or something.

Are you bulimic?

Not bulimic, he was sick.

What do you mean?

Yeah, I took theater class in middle school,

but you wouldn't know about that.

Anyways, um, and action.

Hey, guys, this is Tommy Kay reporting

from the back seat of the ca... of the car.

I'll... I'll finish.

My friend, Graham,

is bulimic.

And I'm gonna call him out on his shit

'cause that's what friends do.

I'm... I'm a little worried now.

A little bit.

What do you want me to fuckin' say?

I fuckin' smoked a little bit of weed...

okay, a lot of bit of weed

and I fuckin' had my cranberry scone

like I do every morning.

I mean, you shouldn't be vomiting.

It was pink, for God sakes.

Yeah, because I had a fuckin' cranberry scone, dick!

Does Cameron have a rape face?

Now, put the camera in your face really quick.

And tell me, you should have played American Psycho.

Did you make her? Hey, Capri.

Hey, Luke.

Hey, Capri, baby, boo-boo bear, no, no, yes.

You want us to take you to Vegas

so you can see Jake?

That sounds like more of a gift for you

than a gift for me. On my brother's birthday?