The Hellgate

Good evening sub creatures.

You're watching another episode

of "Breakdowns and Body Bags".

The only channel to cover everything in the world

of heavy metal and horror.

I'm Stacey Lennox,

and as always, I'm joined

by my roommate extraordinaire, Lillian Walsh.

Thank you, Stacey.

Tonight's episode is all about

the new "Sense of Emissions" album.

Have you heard it yet?

Twice actually.

Verdict?

That's a no.

Not total, no.

Just to be determined.

Well, before we get into that,

if you guys wanna leave a like and comment down below,

let my hand.

I have a box containing a haunted shrunken head.

Ooh, spooky.

What makes it haunted?

What else makes it haunted?

Somebody murdered somebody

else who was into some creepy shit

and now they're bound to the spirit realm forever.

Oh God, I've seen that movie.

Yeah, me too, it sucked.

Well, on that note, thank you

so much for joining us tonight.

My name is Lillian Walsh.

And I'm Stacey Lennox.

And this is

"Breakdowns and Body Bags".

Don't Drink and Drive.

Why do you do that?

Just like reminding Chuck we love him.

So that's why he had his sister free.

Small price at Bay.

How many views do you get

on that last video?

I don't know like 40.

Pretty sure my mom doesn't even watch anymore.

Gosh, what are we missing?

Sex appeal.

Yeah. Right.

Had a block at that one, dude,

'cause he kept suggesting I smile more.

You blocked a subscriber.

He was a creep.

So now you have standards.

Whatever, I need a drink.

Daves?

Where else will we go?

Old fashioned extra cherries and a seed breeze.

Excellent show tonight.

Thank you.

You put it on the TV for everybody?

Always do.

You're such a sweetheart.

But I still don't understand

why you can't grow our sub count.

It's been six months and we're still stagnant.

You know, I'm no good at that social media shit,

but tell me what you've tried.

What's there to try.

We're fucking cute

and heavy metal and horror.

Who doesn't wanna watch that?

Maybe you're not covering the right material.

Have you tried doing interviews with people?

We have not.

Who the fuck are we gonna interview around here?

This scenes dead.

Actually, Corey told me

that Worm Gut's coming next week..

You should interview them.

Worm Gut, Gross.

I love it.

Fuck it, we tried everything else.

Lil, you're still working for me tomorrow.

Dave, I don't want

Rent's due.

Know what time you want me to come in.

Closing shift.

You're joking.

Please, what do you want from me?

That's when those fucking shit heals roll in.

I'm not doing it.

I pay you in cash.

Same day, no taxes.

Give me a break.

Fine.

But you owe me.

You take so long to get ready.

You don't shower enough.

Showers get you stabbed, I take baths.

Well, you've obviously never seen "Shivers" then.

Hell no, I'm really never bathing.

Ugh.

Will you please think

of something for the show tomorrow night?

Yes.

How can I help you?

Mr. Grant Morrison?

Yes.

And you are?

I'm Brady.

I'm here on behalf

of the new property managers.

Yes, yes, that's right.

I knew you were coming.

Come on in.

So what do y'all plan on doing with the place?

As you know, my employers have

a keen interest in this

property in particular.

They think it's a unique location.

Unique?

I'm here to make sure that's true.

I'm here to determine

how we can improve the cemetery,

make sure that everything can operate normally,

and that we can provide quality services

to those laying their loved ones to rest.

I don't understand.

They sent somebody out here a few years ago

to close the place.

They're talking about opening it back up now.

Well, there may have been some oversight

in the previous inspection.

Let me give you a tour of the ground.

I will need access to your records.

I trust that I'll be staying in the same

spot as your last inspector.

Yes. Yes.

I'll show you the room now.

That would be good.

I'd like to get settled in,

then I want to go to town,

see what the locals are like.

Okay.

You just let me know when you're ready.

I'll stay outta your way.

Down here to the left.

Sorry I did not,

mean to surprise you like that.

That's okay dude.

That sounded good.

What was that you were playing?

Oh, thanks.

That's just something new

my old band used to play.

I liked it.

Thank you.

I'm so sorry.

Can I help you find something?

No, no, I'm new in town.

I'm just familiarizing myself.

I actually saw you from outside.

I thought I could pop in, quickly.

Oh, okay, cool.

Are you here for work or something?

Something like that?

Probably be here a while though.

Oh, alright.

Well, hey, I'm Stacey, take a look around

and let me know if you need any help finding anything.

Got it.

If I were to take a take up guitar,

you offer lessons?

Yeah.

So actually we've got a guy who's

here on Wednesdays.

Lemme see.

I meant you.

No, no.

I just taught myself.

I learned mostly from YouTube so I couldn't help you

but guy on Wednesdays.

Gotcha. Alright.

Nice to meet you.

Yeah, nice to meet you too, dude.

Keep practicing I guess.

Yeah, will do.

Have a good one.

You too, bye.

Hey dude, where the fuck are you?

Hey, what's up everybody?

This is Derek from "No Ghost Patrol",

where we prove to you

the ghosts aren't haunting you.

You can't text.

Oh, my fingers fell off.

I'm on my way to deliver the goods,

are you home.

Deliver the goods.

Make it sound more like a drug deal.

This is a drug deal.