Adventures in the Sin Bin

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO LICK IT?

CRAP.

YOU LEFT THE WRONG KEY AGAIN.

I NEED THE BIN TOMORROW.

AND THE DRIVER SIDE WINDOW'S FUCKED.

NO, STEVE'S GOT IT TOMORROW.

YOU JUST HAVE TO SHIMMY THE WINDOW.

HOW'S WEDNESDAY FOR YOU?

I REALLY NEED IT TOMORROW.

PLUS, I CAN HOOK YOU WITH THAT KARA GIRL.

LESS PERSIAN-LOOKING VERSION OF - WHAT'S HER NAME?

BROWN HAIR, KINDA "TALKS LIKE THIS"?

I HAVE TOO MUCH HOMEWORK.

I'LL GET YOU A TUTOR!

HAVE YOU EVER HAD SEX? -YEAH!

IT'S WONDERFUL!

YEAH!

I GOT A LITTLE BIT IN WITH TRITON PATTY ONE NIGHT.

BUT SHE WAS DRUNK, I HAD A COUPLE BEERS.

I'VE FELT GUILTY EVER SINCE.

PLUS, IF MY GPA GOES BELOW 4.0,

THEN DEAN THEATARD'S GONNA TAKE AWAY MY SCHOLARSHIP.

GLENN, I CAN'T.

THEN WHO'S GOT IT TONIGHT?

I WILL GET BACK TO YOU.

DON'T SELL ME A SOUP-SANDWICH.

YOU SAID YOU HATE SUNDAYS.

I SAID I HATE SCHOOL NIGHTS.

YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO ME.

YOU CAN HAVE SUN-DAY.

I WANT SUN-NIGHT.

DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME.

FUCK IT.

WHATEVER.

JUST GET ME SUN-NIGHT.

LET ME GET BACK TO YOU.

OH!

WE'RE SURROUNDED BY A BUNCH OF FUCKIN' THESPIANS.

WHO'S GOING TO CHURCH SUNDAY?

UH, SANTA CLAUS.

BRING THE SLEIGH TO THE NORTH POLE.

WHEN?

CHRISTMAS EVE.

LET ME GET BACK TO YOU.

IF I BRING THE BIN TO THE PARTY TONIGHT,

SAL WILL GIVE STEVE HIS SUNDAY.

NOW, COULD YOU DO THURSDAY INSTEAD OF TONIGHT?

YES, YOU SHOULD COME TO THE PARTY

AND YOU SHOULD BRING YOUR VAN.

BRIAN, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT YOU.

HEY, SO I'M TRYING TO MOVE SOME STUFF AROUND

SO YOU CAN HAVE THE BIN TONIGHT.

I WANNA OPEN SOME FUCKIN' PRESENTS TONIGHT.

SANTA CLAUS WANTS EASTER,

THE PILGRIM WANTS THANKSGIVING.

OK. OK. OK.

KEEP ME POSTED.

THE BIN'S AT THE PARTY TONIGHT FOR SAL.

WILL YOU GIVE YOUR THURSDAY TO GLENN?

WAS THAT SO HARD?

ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO SET IN FOOT IN THE PARTY THIS TIME?

LET ME GET BACK TO YOU.

CONFIRMING SATURDAY AND THURSDAY.

YOU'RE THE BEST!

STEVE, CONFIRMING SUNDAY, MONDAY AND FRIDAY.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

ONE MORE TARDY AND YOU GET "REO".

WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?

I DON'T KNOW,

YOUR AUNT NANCY SAID I CAN STAY AS LONG AS I NEED TO.

I JUST WORRY ABOUT YOU ALL ALONE.

DID YOU GET THAT ENVELOPE I LEFT YOU?

YEP.

THANKS FOR THE LUNCH MONEY...

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT?

ARE YOU, OK?

YEAH I'M FINE.

NO, I'VE JUST BEEN CONCERNED

ABOUT YOU BEING ALONE...

AND I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD BE DOING THIS

WHAT? I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER...

NO, BENNY'S COMING HOME.

HE IS?

IT'S JUST A PARTY...

RELAX...WHEW!

THOUGHT SO.

SHOES OFF.

NEW SALVAGED DRIFTWOOD FLOOR.

COPS OUTSIDE?

I DON'T THINK SO.

MATTER OF TIME.

GOD DAMN ANIMALS INSIDE.

DID YOU SEE THAT GIRL.

DID I SEE WHAT GIRL?

DO I EVEN GIVE A SHIT?

IS SAL HERE?

YOUR HEAD LOOKS LIKE FRANKENSTEIN.

PIECE OF SHIT WON'T START!

JUST "JIGGLE" IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS!

YEAH! JUST JIGGLE IT SAL!

YOU SMELL LIKE BOOZE!

THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE DRIVING.

''CAUSE SHE LICKED ME!

OH!

UGH!

WHOAH!

AH, Fee-yuk....

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

SO WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE DEER?

IT JUST RAN OUT IN--

INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.

UH, HUH.

HEY, SAL.

THANKS FOR RUINING THE PARTY, RIGHT WHEN IT WAS GETTING GOOD.

ALRIGHT, JAGOFFS! KNOCK IT OFF!

HALLOWINSKI!

BRIAN, WERE YOU DRINKING?

NO. I SWEAR, OFFICER TOTSCH.

COUNT BACKWARDS FROM TEN.

NINE...

EIGHT...

SEVEN--

YOU MISSED TEN.

I GOING TO ADMINISTER A BREATHALYZER.

NO, I SWEAR I DIDN'T DRINK ANYTHING!

THEN WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES?

STOP HYPERVENTILATING.

BRIAN, SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

0.0? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU A NARC?

HEY THERE.

INTERESTING NIGHT.

HAD A DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE OVER BY ST. JULIANNA.

GOT OUT OF CONTROL REAL FAST.

YOUR MA CALLED ME

ABOUT HELPING TO FIX THE BATHROOM DOOR THIS WEEK.

IT'S OKAY, I'LL FIX IT.

IT AIN'T THE END OF THE WORLD IF I FIX THE DOOR, BRIAN.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. BUT, THANKS.

IS YOUR BROTHER HOME?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THE SAME THING

THAT I TOLD THAT J.O.

IF YOU START FUCKIN' AROUND, I WILL KNOCK YOUR DICK OFF.

YOU'VE HAD A ROUGH COUPLE YEARS.

I KNOW YOU MAY NOT WANT TO TALK TO A MEMBER

OF THE ILLINOIS LAW ENFORCEMENT COMMUNITY,

BUT THERE'S A FIRST TIME FOR EVERYTHING.

IF YOU WANT, WE'LL GO GET A BEEF SANDWICH

AND DO SOME PROBLEM-SOLVING.

OR IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO SOMEBODY ELSE,

THERE'S "JESUS AND ME" OVER AT MARY SEAT.

BUNCH OF KIDS GET TOGETHER

AND TALK ABOUT WHAT MAKES 'EM FEEL BAD...

AND JESUS.

MAYBE I'LL CHECK IT OUT. THANK YOU.

TALK ABOUT GOD AND SHIT.

GOOD NIGHT.

GET SOME SLEEP YOU LITTLE PIMP.

HEY BUD.

I THOUGHT THAT WE TALKED ABOUT NOT PARKING IN THE LOT?

YEAH, I CAN'T BE LATE TO CLASS.

YOU GUYS CAN'T USE THE VAN ANYMORE.

YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO TELL YOU

ABOUT THESE MUSHROOMS

THAT KEEP GROWING IN THE BACK ON THE CARPET.

WAIT, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I'M RETIRING THE SIN BIN.

YOU'RE MESSING WITH ME?

YOU'RE NOT MESSING WITH ME?

YOU KNOW, I NEED TO GET OUT THERE.

SO I WENT OUT WITH YOU GUYS, AND I SEE A CUTE GIRL

AND THEN I HAVE TO TAKE A SOBRIETY TEST.

WHICH GIRL?

DOESN'T MATTER.

OF COURSE IT MATTERS.

SUZIE KOSOLANSKY.

YOU'RE RIGHT, SHE DOESN'T MATTER.

WHY DOESN'T SHE MATTER?

BECAUSE SHE MATTERS AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT

AND YOU DON'T MATTER AND EVERYONE KNOWS THAT TOO.

I'M STILL RETIRING THE BIN.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE OF US THAT HAS A CAR, BRIAN.