Chatô, The King of Brazil (Chatô, O Rei do Brasil)

I always said to whoever wanted to write my biography...

...that my favorite fantasy would be:

me and my daughter Nonoca by the mouth of the Coruripe River,

dancing and devouring human flesh, that of a Portuguese bishop,

just like my ancestors, the Caetés, did four centuries ago.

And the fundamental fact never understood by the bourgeoisie...

is that I have Amerindian blood and a savage appetite.

Now, as the Brazilian Ambassador at the English Court,

I'm preparing the European bourgeoisie

for a new cultural standard that will be consolidated throughout the world,

and it will come from Brazil.

From Brazil!

This is my Amerindian ancestors' vengeance

against the Brazilian and the world's bourgeoisie.

Extra! Extra!

"The Trial of the Century," live across the entire country!

Don't miss it! Extra!

We arrived, sir.

Jeez, he speaks Portuguese.

I-- I'm not feeling well. Doesn't it show?

I had a hallucination, you know.

Let me take a look.

-It's just... -Easy, easy.

I was at a party in London and...

Dr. Assis, you came to participate in the show.

-You are not sick. -You had a blood clot.

Dr. Assis, you came to participate in the show.

You are not sick. You had a blood clot.

Dr. Assis, you came to participate in the show.

You are not sick. You had a blood clot.

Dr. Assis, you came to participate in the show.

You are not sick. You had a blood clot.

The Night Show

The Trial of the Century

I'm glad you woke up, Assis.

Is that you, Maria Eudóxia?

What is going on?

Today is your day, Assis.

-What day? -You have to be impeccable.

Five minutes, Dr. Assis.

Come on, come on, Assis. Get dressed.

Only if I'm dressed as a Tupi. A real Tupi.

My God, what am I doing here?

If he didn't die, he will. Any time now.

-Poor man. -"Poor man," what? He deserved it.

What's the point of 26 newspapers, 14 radios,

four magazines, 12 television stations,

when they are all deep in debt? We are going to pay the price.

Thank you very much.

I just hope he doesn't die.

On the other hand, he can last years like that.

Can you imagine how much that's going to cost us?

You mean, how much is that going to cost him. Him!

Do you have a lighter, Ted?

Afrânio, in front of him? The thing he hated most.

Exactly.

Eight years inside a lifeless body.

I already asked witchdoctors, doctors and charlatans for help and nothing.

Nothing gets me out of this paralysis that the blood clot brought me to.

My empire fades away day after day.

Today, I am what I write.

Letter by letter. Day after day.

The senator is immortal.

His body can be viewed in the Academy or in the Federal Senate.

No. The ambassador hasn't died yet.

Don't fool yourself.

The man writes and grunts like never before.

His weapon is the writing! The writing!

With one finger. One finger!

Without reservation, Dr. Assis supports the revolution

against the red crooks who are robbing the Planalto Palace.

Tell the presidency to not come with fiddle-faddle.

To give orders inside the Associated, you have to take over our paychecks.

The government cannot abandon us like that.

We are losing our most important artists.

This contract with the Americans is illegal.

It's antipatriotic, it's illegal.

What do you want? Destroy the Associated Diaries?

It's been almost two years without a cent from the government.

There's no reason for such a cowardly act.

I'm ready for this battle of life and death.

Fucking military.

Now they are partners with a criminal paid to destroy radio and television.

I want Mr. Rosemberg arrested with his head shaved like a common criminal.

Repeat after me, son:

"Immortal is the one who creates beauty."

No stuttering. One more time.

Repeat: "Immortal is the one who creates beauty."

I learned how to speak while getting beat up by my grandpa.

Such amazing circumstances rarely come together all at once

to amuse the soul of a human being...

...so dull and stupid that they cannot put words together

in a manner to convey their thoughts.

On the contrary, there is no other animal however perfect

and fortunately situated it may be, that can do the same...

I studied, I studied so much, I became a lawyer

and a journalist.

As a lawyer, I didn't like to charge any fees.

Leverage, in the future, is everything.

Dr. Assis, I can't accept that.

I'll sign you on with Brazilian Traction as a regular attorney.

And that's an advance.

Money, newspaper and leverage. In that order.

You better hide that newspaper.

The boss doesn't like lazy people.

I don't want to lose my job. Be more careful, man!

Severino, being careful is the same as being mediocre.

I'm not going to spend the rest of my life cutting cloth behind this counter.

I don't want to die as the scissors man. That's not my calling.

I'm going to work at this newspaper.

Oh, come on! Stop dreaming, Francisco.

Get up and help me cut this cloth.

And one more thing: the lady who owns this newspaper

lives in Rio de Janeiro.

I'm going to go there and ask her for a job, and she's going to hire me.

On the right.

Hey, young man.

Now this, huh? This is not possible, boy.

You are not good at this kind of job.

Actually, I would like to tell you something, ma'am.

-Speak. Speak. -I never wanted to be a servant.

I'm in law school, I speak a little bit of German.

Hey! Stand up.

I would like another job.

You offered me a job as a servant, and I didn't want to say no,

but I actually wanted another job.

-Okay, but what other job? -As a journalist, Mrs. Germana.

Why would you want to be a journalist?

-Why? Because I have an opinion. -Ah, come on. Opinion.

Those with an opinion shouldn't be an employee,

but the owner of a newspaper.

You are right, ma'am. I don't have a newspaper.

I only have an opinion, which is halfway there.

You have opinion. So, what? An opinion? Who cares?

Excuse me. Look, Mrs. Germana...

why are the ads in your newspaper so small?

So, there's room for the news.

My newspaper sells news.

Forgive me my audacity, but who pays for your Château Laffite?

The ads, not the news. Ads are money. The news is a bonus.

-Young man, this one. -Sorry.

Leave it.

Ads are good even for those who like the news

because that's where the salary of those who make the news comes from.

Do you agree with me, Mrs. Germana?

Ladies and gentlemen, a special round of applause

to the man who, with his courage, changed our history.

The man who stole from us, who slept with our women.

The senator, ambassador, lawyer and journalist:

Dr. Francisco de Assis Chateaubriand Bandeira de Mello.

Our judges: the mother-in-law Germana Almeida...

his first wife Maria Eudóxia...

his second wife Lola and daughter Nonoca,

his second mother-in-law Mrs. Consuelo, our dearest Soraia Teles,

the always-helpful secretary Karina,

and the whole legion of women with whom he fornicated with his whole life.

Easy, Dr. Assis. The cameras!

And now, I'm honored to present to you the primate bishop of Brazil,

Dom Sardinha da Gama!

I bless this show, which is going to be the window for the Lord's word

in the bosom of the Brazilian family.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Shit!

If this fucking bishop knew how much a camera costs,

he wouldn't have thrown angel's piss on it.

And now, our dear Andreia Rodrigues!

ON THE AIR

My God, this is a nightmare.

This has happened before. I must be dreaming.

I wonder if Dr. Assis will ever show up.

-He must be almost here. -It would be a shame if he doesn't.

I would love to meet him.

I have to tell them to start serving.

Of course.

Hello.

My dear.

What kind of clothes are those?

I'm sorry for being late. I was at the newspaper.

I was inducting some authorities, some military people,

into the Revolutionary Order of the Goons .

I've never heard of that.

A little bit of Paraíba's tradition to the capital of this Republic.

Assis, these are our hosts,

Vivi and Stuart Cubing.

Nice to meet you.

Francisco de Assis Chateaubriand Bandeira de Mello.

At your service, ma'am.

Ah, the husband is a gringo. The husband is a gringo.

Sit down, Mr. Chateaubriand. Dinner is already being served.

Great because my belly is empty.

-Such a pig! -So nasty!

We are going to have pig? Pork rinds?

It's delicious.

Whoa!

Bring the biggest knives we have in our kitchen.

Actually, Brazil is a very rich country.

But of course, it needs a little help.

Not a little help, sir. The correct term is "money."

Brazil will only be big if it gets modernized.

Don't you read what I have written?