Without a Paddle

-Ghostbusters! -Ghostbusters!

Yeah!

We did it, man!

-Be safe. -You got it, man.

-Have a great trip. -Yeah.

When I'm done with probation, I'm gonna come find you.

I know you will.

All right, I'm out of here.

One last thing.

-Remember this? -My Indy compass.

-In case you get lost. -Where'd you get this?

-And you will get lost. -Yeah, I will get lost.

But it's half the fun.

-Thanks, man. -Be good.

-Take care of those two fools. -Have fun.

I will.

Catch you around, boys!

Bye, Billy!

I wonder where he's gonna end up.

He's gonna do great things.

Don't worry. We're all gonna do great things.

-Are you ready for Tom? -I'm ready for Tom!

-Let's ride! -Come on, baby!

Yeah!

Angie! What was that?

Shit. I think it's Tony.

-Tony? -Get your clothes on!

-What happened to "Tony's in China"? -This is bad. Get your clothes on...

Hey, Tony.

You're home early, baby.

-Tony? -What the hell's going on here?

Tony, there's enough of me to go around.

I'm thinking about a Tom sandwich. Light on the Tom.

Jerry here has the reworked formula, so I'll pass the ball on to him.

You're on.

-Now? -Now.

Right.

Baby! You're home.

Hey.

How was the surf?

Someone's happy to see me.

Well, why wouldn't I be? Especially tonight.

Wow.

You outdid yourself.

Just seemed like the right night to outdo oneself, so...

A Thursday?

Honey, don't you think every night should be special?

Yeah. Yes, every night should be special, this is true.

But, really,

specifically, there's always one night a year that just seems right

for a celebration of a specific event.

-Do you know what I'm saying? -Absolutely.

I love dip.

It's our anniversary!

Our first date! How many hints do I need to give you?

I must be crazy.

A trip? Great call. Where we going?

I won't do it. I won't play the role of nagging girlfriend anymore.

Would nagging wife make you happier?

Please tell me that was not you proposing to me.

Jerry and Denise cannot get to the phone right now,

because we're doing it!

Jerry, it's Mom. If you're there, will you please pick up?

Hey, Mom. I can't really talk right now.

What?

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me, sir? Sir? Excuse me. You're in my spot.

I don't see your name on it.

Well, actually, yes, my name is on it. See? Right there, Dr. Mott.

That's me. That's my space.

You got me.

But look at this, pal!

Now, your name's not on it!

Hey! What're you doing? Hey! Hey!

Hey, you get back. You get back. I'm not afraid to use this!

Hey, don't!

-Have a good day, Doc. -You, too.

I'm Dr. Mott!

Good morning, Sandi. TGIF.

What's that, Dr. Mott?

Thank goodness it's Friday. Happy Friday.

It's the weekend. Hurray.

Right.

"TGIF."

That was great. So smart.

Why don't you just ask her out, you dumbass?

It's Jerry Conlaine.

-He says it's very important. -Okay.

-Hey, Jerry, how you doing? Long time. -Hey, Dan.

Listen. There was an accident.

Billy's dead.

-You're kidding. -Yeah, he...

He was para-surfing down in Costa Rica.

So the funeral's this weekend. It's... It's in Oregon.

-Yeah... -I'm flying out in a couple of hours.

-Can you make it? -Yeah, I'll be there.

Dano! Hey.

-Hey, Jerry. -How's it going?

Man.

Oh, my God, is that Everest?

Yeah. You know Billy. He wasn't afraid of anything.

He did it all.

Did you know he ran with the bulls?

He sent me a postcard from Spain.

-Man, he did great things. -He did.

I still want you.

Why did you leave me?

Billy.

Billy's dead and he's still got a better chance of getting laid than I do.

"Leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

"I walk through the valley of the shadow..."

What is that?

Tom's here.

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear..."

Is this Billy's funeral?

Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?

Jer, is that you?

You're with Dan?

-Where did you guys park? -Tom!

Okay. Sorry.

There was a hell of a fender-bender coming in, and...

-Please continue. -I-5 was a parking lot.

-I'm so sorry. -Anyway, I made it.

"Then the earth shook and trembled."

Sorry, Padre.

"The foundations moved and were shaken..."

My bad. Missed an exit.

"...because he was wroth.

"He bowed the heavens also, and came down: and darkness was..."

Did you notice how many hot chicks were at that funeral?

No kidding! It was like a discotheque with a coffin in the middle.

-Look at that. -Holy...

Fort Cooper. Can you believe it?

God, I remember it being taller.

Wow.

There it is.

Race you to the top!

-Dano, come on up, buddy! -Come on, Dan.

You guys are hammered! I'm not climbing up a 20-year-old rope.

-That's crazy. -Tommy, catch.

This whole thing seems a little insane for us to be doing,

climbing with the possibility of...

-You all right, Dano? -Come on, Dano, grab it.

-Give me the rope. -Come on, Dan!

Use your tippy-toes. There you go.

Cobweb. Look out.

-Oh, my God. -How small is that door?

Kind of seems about the same, actually.

I hope I don't fall through the floor of this thing.

Hey! What's up, B.A. Baracus?

Mr. T. How awesome is that?

You guys. Oh, my gosh.

-Look at this. -Hey, that's our old flag.

-D.B. Cooper's treasure chest. -Man, look at that thing.

-You remember this? -Of course, yeah.

Cooper parachuted out of a plane up north with a bunch of stolen cash.

Gosh, we were obsessed with that.

-Nationwide police hunt and... -Right.

-He was never found. -Yeah, we were gonna sneak away,

go up the river, all Huck Finn, Apocalypse Now style.

Get the loot.

I bet you we spent half our childhood planning that trip.

It's all Billy ever talked about.

-Let's open it up. -We have to break the lock.

-I'll break it. -38-24-36.

-How do you know that? -How do you possibly remember that?

Miss 1981, Julie McDonald. 38-24-36. Unforgettable.

Had a passion for cycling. Disliked liars.

You're right.

-What the... -Do you believe it?

Man! Look at that.

The oath.

"We swear that these things will remain in this box

"until we find D.B. Cooper's treasure."

Signed, a bunch of kids.

Remember we pricked our fingers, took a blood oath?

Dan, what's that next to your signature? That's not blood.

It was earwax. I was afraid of needles.

Should we check out the priceless treasures of our youth?

-C-3PO. -C-3PO.

I wonder who put that in.

Let me see that. That's a collectible now.

-Yeah, right. -My Brian Bosworth rookie card.

-The Boz. -Man, I thought he was gonna be

the greatest ever.

"I've been in that box a very long time."

Well, you're free now.

And, Tom, I believe this is your contribution.

Oh, my God.

That's my first rubber. Boy.

I found this in my dad's pickup right before he went to jail.

I remember he caught me with it.

Boy, he smacked me right in the head.

What a charming father-and-son tale.

He was funny.

-Hey, what did Billy put in there? -Yeah, what does he got?

His Indy compass.

I gave this to him before he took off on his trip. He must've...

I don't know, he must've put it back.

Look at this. It's one of our mix tapes. Remember we did the DJ intros?