Four More Shots Please

Previously on season one of Four More Shots Please!

The board has started censoring my stories.

Scared of some fucking law suits, little sissies.

Sneha put me on Keto again.

So, no rice, no sugar, no bread, no life.

There's someone called Kavya.

Varun is apparently very serious about her.

I yelled at THE Samara Kapoor in the gym today.

And then I kept saying, "Sorry, it's okay, it's okay.",

like it's some new Punjabi pop-track.

I mean, what a fucked up week, man!

She spent the night or what?

"She spent the night or what?"

No, she didn't.

When will she get married?

The board needs to grow a pair of balls if they want to be in the news business.

Only you can train me.

I haven't had sex since Arya was born.

Anj...

Arya's almost four.

When I listen to your rants, I feel like I'm home.

And that all is well with the world.

I can't live with someone.

I can't live without someone.

I'll give you an idea that will change your life.

What?

That's not how Aunt Kavya makes it.

My team here is crime and political reporters.

They don't do this shit.

This... is what's going to put money in their salary accounts.

Siddhi... I really like the sound of this.

Siddhi weds Mohit.

Mohit is gay.

It's because of low IQ dumbos like you...

that we have to print cheap gossip.

You are the one who is fucking moving on.

Making a happy family and home-sweet-home

and all that fucking bullshit.

Why don't you move on as well?

He chose men over you!

Shut up! Just shut up, Sneha!

Arjun!

Vagina!

The problem is, you know what you want,

but you don't know what you need.

That was so fucking hot.

I like you too, Damini Rizvi Roy.

This is my first relationship with a woman.

-I am not even sure if I am-- -If I am what?

My everything! You cannot remove me!

-Oh, my God. -I am sorry...

-Will you marry me? -Say yes!

Sids, what's wrong?

If you weren't so distracted, I would still have my fucking company.

That's what happens when you sleep with just one person your entire life.

At least I'm not sleeping around with the whole world.

Being a Sexybod girl has given me more confidence

than all of you have in the last three years.

What is this?

That girl with Samara Kapoor?

That girl is me.

Have your own child! Stay away from my daughter!

Don't call me ever again!

Fuck the board.

You can have this.

I'm done.

Oh, I didn't realize we had company.

Together forever?

What should have been a statement, is now a question.

God, I hate question marks.

Fuck them!

Fuck them all!

I don't need anybody.

For the past two months, I've been backpacking across Europe by myself.

I don't need anyone.

I'm a survivor!

I'm a lion!

Yes. I have many problems.

Why are you so concerned?

Shit.

Which book is shit?

What the hell are you talking about?

Shit.

Yes! Yes, shit.

Everything is shit.

Men are shit. Women are shit.

All of bloody humanity is shit!

You're looking weak.

Doesn't Myra feed you?

Weak?

I have to keep looking at your morose face every day.

Makes me lose my appetite.

Every day.

Right on that same chair.

With that same sad, moony face.

I heard that a broken heart makes you lose your appetite.

Broken heart?

I FaceTime Xerxes every day.

You think about her, don't you?

Who? Xerxes?

Her.

-Stop it, Umang. -Stop what?

I thought you liked the foreplay.

By the way, how is she?

I don't know.

We haven't spoken since the big fight.

I meant Samara.

I don't know.

We haven't spoken since the big fight.

-Will you just call her? -Why don't you call her?

-I've moved on. -Right.

Two steps forward and four steps back.

-Sids? -Mangs...

I want to listen to Bollywood remixes...

while eating Bachelorr's chilli ice cream.

Go and have it.

How? I couldn't find chilli ice cream in Istanbul.

What are you doing in Istanbul?

Trying to eat ice cream.

Mangs, I feel like my life's melting away like an ice cream.

That Turkish ice cream guy was doing so many tricks with the scoops...

that by the time he gave me the cone, the entire ice cream fell to the ground!

But I still had to pay for it.

After that, I had four cups of strong Turkish coffee, three hookahs,

and I ate an entire mezze platter all by myself.

But none of it took away my heartache, Mangs.

Sids, are you okay?

Nothing is okay, Mangs.

My heart is as lonely as I am.

No Papa, no Sneha, no Mihir, no you. Any of you!

Where are Papa, Sneha and Mihir?

Why do you want to know? Like you care!

I should put three locks on this bridge and jump into the Bosporus.

Three locks for the three of you.

My three best friends, my three lost loves.

Sids, please don't do anything stupid.

Who is going to stop me?

Mangs, you have no idea what it's like to be me right now.

I'm trying really hard but I'm struggling.

I'm trying to be strong but this is just too hard.

-I'm too lonely, Mangs. -Sids, please stop crying.

I'm listening to you. I'm right here.

Where are you?

I'm here! I am lost, all alone, thousands of miles away...

and I have no one with me.

Nobody cares, Mangs! Nobody cares!

-Sids, please! -I'm all alone!

Mangs, I'm really scared!

I'm losing it!

-Sids! -I'm on the edge, Mangs!

-Sids, just don't do anything... -I'm really scared.

-Please don't do anything. -I need you guys right now.

Please come.

I'm so scared.

Sids!

Hello! Sids!

I'm on the edge, Mangs.

-Sids! Hello! Sids! -Mangs, please...

-Stop! -On the edge of what?

-Stop! Hey! -Sids!

Hello! Sids!

Why can't I hear anything!

Fuck!

How much more time?

Half an hour, sir.

This bao better be worth it.

Listen, bao is the new bun. It's everywhere.

Do you know where we had the best bao? It was at that place in Seminyak.

I used to eat it every day. I've put on so much weight!

Where?

On your eyelashes?

I'm sorry.

Anyway...

We were staying at a pool villa in Ubud. It was so beautiful.

We'd go skinny-dipping every day.

And one day, you remember, we had this... guest.

-Yes, a monkey came. -A monkey!

And Varun ran out.

He came out naked! It was so funny.

Did he leave you alone in the pool?

-But it was... -I am so irresponsible, right?

I didn't learn anything from you.

We decided to make this work, right?

Guys, excuse me. I need to take this.

Hello.

Anj, Dee... Dee, Anj...

Sids is in trouble. We need to help her.

-What happened? -What?

I don't even know the entire story

but she was bawling while talking to me from Istanbul.

What is she doing in Istanbul?

Eating ice cream, walking on the fucking bridges!

I have no idea!

She was ranting away!

She sounded like she was losing her mind!

She actually said that she's on the edge!

I am scared shitless!

I really think that we have to go to Istanbul.

You're crazy as well.

How can we just take off for Istanbul?