Game of Death

Hey, bro, Ashley wants to fuck you.

Get the fuck over here.

Tell Ashley I'm flattered.

I'm coming soon.

So you're fucking Tom.

Who are you marrying and who are you killing?

Uh, I'd kill Beth...

and marry Kenny.

What?

Fucking rights, homie.

I smoked crack

on metro with the homeless people.

Who do we have here? It's Mary-Ann.

- Ready? - All right, get off me.

Oh, you love it.

Hey, Matt. Your girlfriend wants to fuck my brother.

I don't care.

It'd be the only way you can get him off anyways.

- Ha-ha. - And, dude?

- Ash wants to marry me. - So?

What makes you think I want to marry this bitch?

What makes you think I wanna marry you, bitch?

Oh, you want to marry me.

"So, Matt... What do you do for a living?"

Well,

it's pretty fuckin' easy.

The good life, bitches.

- You need to be alone. - It's his pool.

What am I supposed to do?

Not have sex in it?

That's ridiculous.

No, let's get fucked up on acid

and all trip out together, it will be beautiful.

With Tyler around? Definitely not.

- He's not that bad. - Really, Ash?

He's pretty terrible.

No, but, you know, for a drug dealer,

he could be way sketchier.

Tyler, my man.

Waddup? How's it goin'?

Who wants to have some fun?

Of course.

You know I gotcha.

Best in the business, right here.

Yo, what are you doingputting that in your drink, bro?

I told you, you're wasted that way.

Rock, paper, scissors!

Ah, man, you fucking suck at this game.

You fucking suck at life.

Well, you win some, you lose some.

Is this piss, man?

You drank my piss.

Woah, watch out.

You're next on my kill list, buddy.

Look, I just got this done, man.

I'm not supposed to get it wet.

Did you guys know that manatees could live up to 65 years?

They're like the potatoes of the ocean.

My uncle hit one with his boat one time,

boat was a mess.

Oh, my God. My brother.

Where is he by the way?

I don't know. Probably masturbating somewhere.

Isn't that what he's always doing?

Yeah, always jerking off. It's crazy.

He and Matt are probably circle jerking.

Uh-oh.

Tom's in love with his sister.

Oh! Shit!

All right,

you want it right, kind of, in between...

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.

...your shoulder and your torso.

- Okay. - Just a little bit more to the right.

- Okay. - Okay.

Oh, fuck!

No, that was good, that was good.

- It'll be okay. - I can't just get it touched up!

You could just get it touched up!

- That's how tattoos work. - Babe, give me a towel.

No, bitch. You're on your own.

- Fuck! - Why does he need one?

You're fucking useless.

Look at this statue.

Look at her nipples.

Why did your gran have a doll?

I don't know, man.

Okay, you think this was a hat back then

or something?

You're so funny.

Ooh.

Can I eat this?

You can eat whatever you want, bitch.

Aww, thanks, bitch.

Sit on my face.

Wherever this lands...

that person must give a lap dance

to whomever they choose.

I like this.

This is so fucking lit.

I so don't get it.

Take some lessons.

Might help you out.

Is this just his money stash?

You know, I'm sure if we tear the walls down,

there will be like, a shit-ton of cash.

Ooh, let's do that.

All right. I think I got this.

Okay.

So... "With the clock ticking,

"is life worth living?

"Make a choice.

"You or I.

"Without decision,

"one will die.

"In this quest, some are left behind.

"This game will blow your mind."

Has anyone ever played?

Wait a minute.

Is it gonna be one of those never-ending games

like that Riskshit we played last time?

'Cause I'm not taking another night of that shit.

Just keep reading, babe.

- Okay. - How do we play?

So...

Everyone put their finger on one of the skulls.

Then, when ready, you press the start button.

Seriously, guys, are we playing or not?

Come on, Tyler. You in?

All right.

Like I'm afraid to die anyways.

Maybe you should be.

"The game of death starts when the counter stops

"at the number of kills that are needed to win."

All right.

Let's do this shit.

Yo, what the fuck, man!

- What the fuck was that? - Gross.

It took our blood.

Fuck! No, no, no, bro.

That's fucking...

That's just not even a game.

That's a fuckin' STD dispenser, bro.

Hep C, AIDS...

Don't worry, Tyler. You can't get AIDS twice.

Oh, fuck, you think this is funny?

Dude, it's a scratch from an old board game.

At worst, you need a Band-Aid.

Know that for sure, huh?

Do you hear that?

Oh, creepy.

"If nobody is killed by the timethe clock runs out,

"the game will, in turn,

"execute a player.

"It is you against them,

"but it is also you against yourself.

"Make your choice wisely.

"The game ends when the counter is down to zero

"or when all the players are dead.

"Beware. Once the game starts, you cannot quit.

"Kill or be killed.

"Death is the only way out."

Who gives a shit about the rules, Beth?

All right? I'm not about to play a game that just fucking bled me.

For all we know, every single person in this room

by now has fuckin' AIDS.

All right. So, I don't get it, we need to kill

24 people to end the game?

Yeah, it doesn't make sense. There's gotta be missing cards

or dice or something, right?

I swear, man, I'm telling you,

I can feel it burn into my fucking veins, bro!

Calm down, Tyler.

Hey, I know my shit, all right, Mary-Ann?

I bet you it's some sorta

government issue conspiracy, Cold War,

9/11 reptilian type of shit, man.

That's not even a thing, Tyler.

Oh, you better fucking believe it's a thing.

They kill presidents like this all the fucking time!

Dude, what the fuck are you talking about, man?

Buddy, if you're that fuckin' upset,

just go to the fucking hospital.

So they can experiment on me?

Fucking idiot.

I need some fresh air.

So who do we kill first?

I say we kill Kenny.

- Oh, Kenny. - Uh-uh.

I don't like that idea.

So what do we do?

- Beer bong? - Yeah, man.

- All right. - Where is it?

- You ready, babe? - I'm always ready.

Yeah, you say that now.

Yeah, let's do this.

Oh, you think you're so smart.

Okay, ready?

- Come on, Ash. - Let's do this.

Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink!