Psych

I need 80 cents.

No, you don't. You need to put back two of those extra candy bars

that you just picked up.

Dad, you don't understand.

I can't put back one of these.

That would be like saying one of these candy bars is less worthy than the others.

And I can't play those kinds of favorites.

All right, fine. Enjoy your dilemma.

In the meantime, don't drag Gus into it.

Thanks, Mr. Spencer.

No problem.

Switch places with me.

No. Why not?

Because then you'll try to take whatever money I have left.

And when have I tried to do that to you?

Wednesday and Saturday.

Monday.

Gosh, you guys have scary memories.

Next in line, please.

That's you. No.

Shawn, come on. That's you.

Okay, so, all of these?

Oh, my gosh! It happened here?

The one-millionth customer.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry, kid. You won!

He won? He won what?

All kinds of things. Gift certificates, that cool bike up there.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have it! Our one-millionth customer!

Can I use one of my gift certificates now?

Sure.

Cool! Isn't it awesome?

Isn't this cool, Gus? How lucky am I?

Thanks for doing this.

Oh, don't be silly. Are you kidding?

Go out spur of the moment with a sexy gal

who likes quirky dive bars as a starting point

But then is also open to seeing where the night goes, you know?

You could've thought I was weird asking you out

because you walked by my counter.

I don't call that weird.

I call that blind, dumb, stupid, awe-inspired luck.

I'm gonna get drinks.

Two vodka sodas.

I've just decided I am going to experience life.

You know, try new things.

I signed up for a painting class today.

You know, they make the kind of paint you can eat now.

And I'm giving new focus to my job.

So...

Can I ask you a question?

Anything.

Did you just get out of a relationship?

How did you know?

Just a wild guess.

Was it

today?

Yesterday.

Are you sure you should be out dating already?

Yes, of course.

He was cheating on me.

Cheating? Yeah.

And the stupid thing is I thought everything was going really well, you know?

And then he just started getting all weird the last month.

Lying, going through my stuff,

my address book, my jewelry.

Finally, Friday he tells me he's going to watch the game at a friend's.

A co-worker of mine spots him over at the Eastland center.

He may not accept it yet, but we are definitely finished.

Thank you. I hope you don't mind being a rebound.

Oh, I usually prefer it.

But not in this case.

Why not?

Primarily because he's not cheating on you.

Look, he took your jewelry because he's trying to figure out your ring size.

He took you to Tiffany's to buy that fancy necklace

because he's really trying to scout out what kind of stones and settings you like.

What about last Friday?

Oh, come on. The Eastland center?

There's no bars or clubs there. He wasn't there with a chick.

He was probably in the north side of the parking lot

at Robbins Bros., picking out the ring.

My address book?

Called your parents to ask for your hand. He's doing it right.

Do you think I should call him?

I'll let you be a psychic on that one.

Ray? Yeah, I need you to tell me the truth.

If you lie to me, we will never speak again, do you understand?

About Friday. Who were you with?

Take your time.

Lassy?

Spencer. Why am I surprised?

Why are you wasted?

Hey, do you like Scotch? Miss!

Can I get two more of these, please? Thank you.

Listen, there is something I have got to get off my chest.

Is it your shirt? Please say no.

You

astound me.

Come again?

It's beyond astounding.

It is some of the most impressive reasoning I've ever seen.

Is there a punch line coming? Let's get to it.

I don't know how you do it.

I mean, it's not psychic-ness, we both know that's a crock of crap.

But you, sir, are unstoppable,

guaranteed arrest.

What's happening here?

Can I tell you a secret?

I wouldn't recommend it, no.

Listen,

you know how everyone thinks my wife and I have been separated for nine months?

Yes.

Two years. Two years tonight.

And I'm the one who keeps trying to fix the thing.

I mean... Jeez.

...counseling, therapy, acupuncture, you name it.

I have tried to try to try it.

Well, I'm gonna let you go.

Don't drive.

You know, I used to be a good cop. Seriously.

Stunning arrest record. It was one of the best in the department.

I caught the Back Bay killer.

Yes, you did. I remember it well.

Although I had a tip. The blue sedan.

Yeah.

That was you?

It might have been. See what I mean?

Come on, you still had to put it all together, right?

Look, Spencer, the blue sedan was the key to the whole thing.

It was the murderer's car.

Yeah, but who had to run the plates?

And all those numbers and letters could have confused many a cop.

Spencer, stop, okay? I am done.

Here, I want you to have these. I don't need them.

I am over.

All right, just stop this. This is nonsense.

You're not over.

Look, you're a striking man with strong features,

eyes that women want to do cannonballs into.

You have great posture and penmanship the likes I've never seen.

No, I have officially hit rock bottom.

A month ago, I got this case, right?

A healthy 4 2- year-old astronomer dies.

Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, spends all day

in an ergonomically-designed chair, charting the night sky.

Natural causes, that's what the Coroner comes back with.

Does a full autopsy. No red flags. Nothing.

I know he was murdered. I just can't...

What? What? What is this?

...prove it!

The department won't even let me pursue it.

Come on, you'll figure it out.

No, I won't. I can't. And I've accepted that.

All right, look, Lassy...

Carlton,

I believe in you. I really do.

You just gotta trust your instincts.

I just got engaged!

Oh, my God! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I got engaged!

I'll never, ever see you again. Bye.

Stick with it, Lassy. You...

You can solve this thing.

You're halfway there already.

I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth

I know, you know They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end

Check this out. What?

Hey, Lassy.

What is it, Spencer?

How you doing? You okay?

All right. I'll bite. What's the joke?

Just want to make sure you got home all right last night.

From what?

From the bar. What bar?

You were at a bar? No, I wasn't at a bar.

I don't drink.

You don't drink?

Well, okay. Wine at weddings.

Occasional snifter of brandy.

Maybe a single-malt scotch.

Sounds like drinking to me.

Spencer, why don't you stop making up stories, okay? They're obviously bogus.

Okay, so you were not at Tom Blair's Pub last night?

I don't even know who Tom Blair is.

Mmm-hmm. And how'd you get that sweet bruise on your forehead?

I had an altercation.

Yes, with a table.

With a suspect.

If we're done, I would really like to move on with my day.

I get it.

Yesterday was

a tough anniversary for you.

What?

Who've you been talking to?

Nobody.

I'll get out of your hair.

Okay. We gotta solve that case.