Wheels of Fortune

- Whoo! - Whoa!

Oh, that's not good!

Gah!

That's definitely not good!

Johnny boy!

Come on! Come on! Agh!

Seriously? Oh, this not my day!

I'm alive.

Oh, I'm alive.

I'm alive!

Oh!

- Hi. - Oh, my god.

You still work for this old fool?

Good to see you, too, Chrissy.

- Hey, Oswald. - Hello, Terry...

Jason.

We've met, like, fifteen times.

- Bunch of times. - Yeah.

It's good to see you again.

So, I have some bad news for you guys.

- Oh... - I'm sorry to say

that the doctors did all they could,

but you should say your goodbyes.

Children.

Hey, dad. Hey, buddy.

Look, I know this is probably a bad time,

but I just wanted you to know that I'm totally ready

to take over the company, uh, if you don't,

um... live.

Dad?

Oh, hi, oh, you poor thing.

You've been grooming me my entire life for this moment,

and I'm ready to take over the company.

Wait, I'm sorry.

I just said that I would do that.

You don't even know what the company does.

Chrissy.

You're my oldest.

Favorite.

- He didn't say favorite. - He implied.

Oswald, my son.

Less favorite.

- Male heir. - Hmm.

I haven't decided yet who's gonna take over the company.

There's something I haven't told you.

Come close.

I have another child.

- What? - What?

Balr...

Beaur...

- Oh, God. - Oh!

- Bora? - That is very loud.

Bora?

Beauregard Davis Jackson.

That's me and I am a winner.

But it wasn't always that way.

Actually, this is the end of the movie.

Let's go back to the beginning.

That's little me racing a motorbike

I built out of spare parts.

Guess who won the semifinals?

I did! Look at that!

And there's my best friends,

Mandy and Noodle,

cheering me on.

Oh, yeah, and that's Mandy's cousin Eskandar.

All I had to do is win one more race

and I'd be the champion.

Nothing could possibly go wrong now.

Oh, come on.

My fuckin' clutch cable broke in half.

If it's broke then I'm done.

Then there's Tommy.

He's one of my friends. He's got cool hair.

He tried to give me a clutch cable,

- but his dad... - Hey, hold on there, son.

Well, he had a different idea.

That clutch cable cost ten dollars.

I don't have any money.

Well, if I'm gonna be stuck paying for it,

my boy here is gonna ride in the finals.

So, I fixed it.

I let Tommy ride my bike and, of course,

he won on the bike I built.

And that's where I learned a very valuable lesson.

Tommy was a winner because he had money and a dad

and I was a loser because I was broke and fatherless.

That's my tractor.

I built her from the tires up.

She's about to complete a full pull.

Red, white, and blue, baby!

Whoo!

But that's not me. That's Tommy.

Yep, same Tommy.

Big mullet, even bigger asshole.

Ever since he won that race when we were kids.

We are looking at a pull-off

to settle this one, ladies and gentlemen.

And there's me, grease monkey and Tommy's head mechanic.

But this scratcher here could pay me $8,000!

But, of course, it did not.

Both drivers have 20 minutes

to report for the final pull.

This is my best bud Noodle.

People think he's slow, but I think he's well-paced.

He has a condition called IBS,

but mostly it's just diarrhea.

What'd I miss?

Tommy and Flint are centered on a pull-off.

- He's gotta race again? - Yep.

Well, it sounded like the valves were sticking.

I'll get the engine cleaner.

Where in the goddamn hell have you taken us?

This is where Phineus' other son works.

Oh, can-can you not call him that?

What, his son?

Yeah, I just... I'm used to being his only son,

so it's weird.

Well, he's got another son now.

He's got two sons.

I could fire you.

No, you really can't.

I've been assigned to execute the will.

Fine. Fine.

Well, can we just get on with it

so that we can get the hell out of here?

Yes, yes, uh, this is the next bit here.

Does the guy get the company or what?

It's more complicated than that, all right?

It's spelled out in steps.

Well, what are they, Jason?

I don't know! All I have is this,

this challenge for his son.

- Uh, you did it again. - Sorry.

Give me that paper! Give me the paper.

I'm gonna handle this.

Well, wait. Hold on! I've gotta...

Okay, Noodle, rev the engine!

Noodle, rev the...

What are...

Good God in heaven!

What's she doing?

I dunno.

- Is she... - No!

She's comin' right at us.

What did you do?

Nothing.

Act natural. Act natural!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hello there, Miss.

Can I help you with something?

I'm looking for the driver of this monstrosity.

That would be me.

- You're the driver? - Yeah, that's right.

We've got a pull-off in about ten minutes

if you wanna stick around and watch me pull off.

I don't know what the fuck that means.

Who's he?

Well, he's an idiot and my mechanic.

Well, he's who I'm here to see.

Okay, wait a minute now. You need a mechanic?

Because I'm actually pretty handy with a tool.

Ew, get the fuck out of my way.

Get the fuck out of my way!

Beauregard Davis Jackson?

Yes, that is my name.

Do you know who your father was?

Sore subject, but, uh, no, I never met my father.

Do you know who Phineus Davis is?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He plays a guitar for this, uh, Drooling Banjos

over at McNeer's.

Oof, fuck no. You do this.

Well, you gave it your college try, didn't you?

Hi, Mr. Jackson, my name is Jason Wilmore.

I'm one of Phineus Davis' attorneys.

You have soft hands.

Oh, I, um, I use a lot of lotion.

Thank you.

- You say you're a lawyer? - Yes.

Okay.

Everyone was drunk that night, especially the band.

Yeah... No, no, no.

Phineus Davis didn't play guitar in some local band.

He was one of the richest men in the world

and he died two days ago.

Well, I didn't kill him,

if that's what you're getting at.

No one thinks you killed him, Mr. Jackson.

He was your birth father

and he may have left you some money in his will.

Well, okay. All right!

Yeah, I'll take it, uh, in a check,

or maybe small bills.

Uh, no, I'm sorry.

It's a little more complicated than that.

He wrote this letter to you.

Can I read it?

No, I can read it myself.

I know how to read.

Dear Beauregard, I have been following your life