Eavesdrop

Mmm, no...

Why?

We have an appointment.

We have a really important appointment at 2:00,

but you wanted to come here?

Hal?

Hal? Susie!

Dr. Thibideau has the test results,

these results will determine if treatment is an option,

so why are we sitting here?

Why-- why-- I want to get up-- why-- it seems like all I do is---

all I ever do is explain myself to you!

Thirty-two years-- three-- thirty-three years...

My lover...

My best friend...

My sweetheart...

My name is hal.

I like chocolate-chip pancakes.

I can't get enough of Billie holliday.

I have... managed to find a spot on the street

to park my buick for the last...

Twenty-seven years

yes, 27 years-- that was yesterday,

today, I'm a goddamn oncological case study

for the folks in little white coats at St. Vincent's!

I'm tired.

It's okay. Not today.

Honey... I just...

Honey? Not... today.

Hey!

Sorry it took so long.

They have a blower in there.

No, no, please-- I know.

I'm, uh-- I'm alone more than you know,

nobody keeps better company than me!

Oh, my god, are you--

let me help you, sir-- you all right?

No, no, never better.

Yeah, that's what my grandfather used to say,

"never better!"

Better never do that again.

Just be yourself.

I give you tea...

But no sympathy.

Okay...

King cliche,

how 'bout this?

There's many a slip,

'twixt the cup and the lip,

and you, mate,

are without your bitch for the rest of this match.

You were so certain you were going to win, yes?

Yes...

No...

Sh...

I haven't lived a good life.

I've been bad...

Worse than you could know.

Well that's good,

because if you actually were as innocent

as you pretend to be, we'd never get anywhere.

Well?

Please-- that's easy as speakeasy,

"the Maltese falcon,"

hammet and huston-- the hardest of the hard-boiled.

What can I get you to drink?

Oh, yeah, uh... Root beer float?

Okay, um... A root beer float.

What-- i-is that-- is that okay?

I mean, you're laughing-- you guys have floats right?

No, yes-- no, we do-- we have floats

it's just cute to hear you order a float for brunch.

Uh, oh, okay, okay...

So, uhh, vanilla ice cream,

uh, two scoops if you can.

Okay, two scoops if I can.

What about you?

Um, actually, I think a root beer float sounds great. Okay.

But just one scoop, please. Okay.

All right, so, how bout I bring you one-- they're big...

With two straws?

Yeah, that's fine-- yeah, yeah-- yeah, yeah.

Ugh, no-- no, no...

That wouldn't be good-- I think that I'd like my own.

Okay... Oh, really?

'Cause, I'm just a germ guy and all.

What-- you're a germ guy?

Not so much germs, like viruses...

Okay, so--

ya know...

I was walking to the beauty salon the other day,

mmm. And something felt different.

It was so quiet, honey.

I had on my brand new heels.

They're a little warn down now,

but when they were new,

darling, they made such a loud click--

no, no, no, no, no...

We're not going to do this today-

do what? Ya know, susie, some would say that this condition I have--

this cancer is a rainy day at best,

and I would agree-- it's pouring over here.

Okay. Cats and dogs-- thunder and lightning.

But let me tell ya,

the one brief spot of sunlight I get in all this,

is I get a relief from the chatter,

from the mundane.

If you wanna talk,

well, then for god sake, make it about something,

but don't just keep filling the air

to make yourself comfortable.

The food, the weather, the clicking of the heels,

I won't have it.

My clock is ticking,

so if you've got something to say,

let's just get down to it.

Fine, I'm sorry...

My bottom line really depends on it.

Yes, her bottom line, and my byline!

One cherry tea-- I'm sorry, Mr. Moon.

No, no-- can't hear you,

better yet, don't want to hear you, Betty.

I don't want to hear you either, Ollie.

I just want to hear this-- quiet! Shh!

Okay, you might want to try composing yourself

before you attempt music.

Oh, oh, god, I'm sorry!

I-I should have let you, you know,

aked what you might've wanted--

let you order first, Clara-

Clara.

Cla-clar-Clara

Clara.

It's fine-- don't worry about it.

Ooh, hi, Terrence, oh, hello, v!

"V" as in venomous. "V" as in vainglorious.

As in vexing. As in volt!

Ouch, good one.

I got a fresh pot almost up, k-k?

Mmm, I can smell-- sure, I'll have a pour.

And I'll have a spot more mint tea, v.

Spoonful of sugar?

Stirred in with a chimney sweep.

And a coffee-Carly- Simon for you, Terry?

Yup, with clouds-- you know me so, val.

So, is there just going to be one of you today, or?

No, unfortunately not, though I-I shouldn't say that.

That's just my own fear talking,

or-or my-my guilt, rather.

I don't know-- I don't know.

I don't know how to...

Handle these.

I'm sorry-- no, what am I a-apologizing for.

I haven't done anything wrong, have I?

Nice for you to ask for what I desired.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Lulu bell,

so very sorry.

And not from the root word "sorrow--" no, hardly.

"Sorry" as in... Sore,

as in "it pains me to have wronged you."

I don't like your manners.

Ooh, you're frisky today.

"Well, I'm not crazy about yours-- I didn't ask to see you.

I don't mind if you don't like my manners,

I don't like them myself-- they're pretty bad.

I grieve over them on long winter evenings.

And I don't mind your ritzing me,

or drinking your lunch out of a bottle.

But don't waste your time trying to cross-examine me."

Ah, "the big sleep--" hawks and Chandler,

bogart and bacall,

yeah, well, it's all just a big dream to me...

You should keep your eyes and ears on the game

in front of you, Donnie, instead of everyone else.

You might have seen that move comin'.

The game is bigger than the board, my friend.

Chess is a metaphor for life,

the answers are all around us.

Okay, so, a glass of Pinot comin' up.

A-A-And, um, perhaps I'll have a shot of bourbon,

that I'll-- that I'll just sip, not shoot,

so a rocks glass will do.

A bourbon?

Life is a game?

No, it's more of an experiment. Experiment?

No-- it's a test.

Yeah, a test-- test tubes, you and me.

Mmm, life, mere folly.

Yeah, folly?

It's a friggin' hoax-- now, move.

I suppose I'll need a small cake.

A cake? Right, but something modest, um,

strawberry shortcake, ladyfingers...

Something or other.

Right, so, you need a wine, and a bourbon,

and a strawberry shortcake.

This is a brunch fit for liberace.

I'll also need the cake to have candles, a-and not...

Not one, but... 18,

eighteen? Yes, 18.