Room Service

Well, what do you want? Can't a man have a little privacy?

- The check, Mr. Miller. - Oh, the check.

- Is this check any good? - Why, yes, sir.

- We'll find out. There you are. - Thank you.

Don't give me any of that "thank you" stuff.

Mr. Miller, many times I have seen your company

rehearsing on the 19th floor.

Please, I would like to play the part of the Polish miner.

My advice to you is to stay where you are.

Most actors would be tickled to death to get as close

to a lamb chop as you, and I do mean you.

You're wanted on the phone, Mr. Miller.

Give him a dime.

Hello?

Oh, Christine. Oh, hello, babe. How are you?

I'm gonna be a little late.

I can't leave until Mr. Fremont goes to lunch. Is that alright?

Get to rehearsal as soon as you can.

I'm making a star out of you.

And you only invested $250 in the show.

Alright. Bye.

Please, impresario, I read you what the Russian critic

Yakubovich, say about my interpretation of Uncle Vanya.

That's very interesting. Just when did he say that?

Just before he was shot.

It is just like in America, three and a half stars!

And then, in the second act

with 300 peasants doing the Kazatsky.

Excuse me, Mr. Gribble.

Gordon, I wanna talk to you.

Joe, I never talk to a hotel manager on a full stomach.

Gordon, this whole thing is a mess.

If you're referring to that meal I had, you're right.

I knew this would happen.

Shouldn't have allowed you in this hotel.

Don't be impatient, I'll pay this bill

as soon as I find some backers for my show.

You can't shake suckers out of your sleeve.

Anyhow, I can't.

Gordon, I'm in a terrible spot.

Mr. Wagner, the supervising director

is downstairs now, inspecting the books.

Wagner? I thought he wasn't coming for another two months.

He walked in on me unexpectedly.

He'll discover your bill any minute.

Twelve hundred dollars worth of credit to a shoestring producer.

How will I explain it?

If he finds out you're my brother-in-law

it'll cost me my job.

It was a business proposition.

In return for credit to me and 22 of my actors

I gave you a 10% interest in the show.

Don't forget, you begged to get in on the ground floor.

You mean, I was railroaded into it by you and Flossie.

Do me a favor and kindly keep your wife's name out of this.

Do you realize you're talking about the woman you love?

And besides, she happens to be my sister. On my mother's side.

Hello, boss.

- The rehearsal, she's a wonder. - Hello, Binelli.

Yes, sir, it's wonderful.

I still think it's a terrible play

but it makes a wonderful rehearsal.

Hello, room service.

Just a minute, Binelli. You can't eat here anymore.

Well, there's only one thing to do, Joe. I'll scram.

Gordon, I can't let you skip. Leave your luggage.

I'll leave my luggage. But we can wear a lot of clothes.

Hey, Binelli. Put on three of my suits..

Give me room 1922. Faker? Here we go again.

Come on down, give us a hand.

Look, you don't want 22 people skipping in one day.

- Do you, Joe? - Of course not, but I..

'Joe, their bills are charged to me.'

So they can't be held responsible.

Once I'm out, we'll have the cast re-register

under their names.

Starting today instead of one big bill

you'll have 22 little ones.

Hello? Joe, it's for you.

Hello. Yes, Mr. Wagner. I'll be right down.

I'll be out of here in 15 minutes.

Seventeen years in the hotel business

and I have to pull a stunt like this.

This only proves what I always said.

The hotel is a no good.

I'm afraid you're right, Binelli.

Can you put me up for the night?

Yes, but you'll have to sleep on the shelf.

- Why not the floor? - I'm on the floor.

- What happened to the bed? - Can't get it out of the wall.

'Come on, Faker, give us a hand.'

I see you came prepared.

No, he just don't believe in shirts.

Oh, an atheist, eh?

Maybe he can put me up for the night.

At the Metropole? You don't wanna stop there.

'That's the worst schlock house on Eighth Avenue.'

'Well, looks like I'll have to curl up on the shelf with you.'

'Sure. You're much better off.'

'Besides, you'd have to sleep sideways at his place.'

'I thought he had a large bed there.'

He has, but he's got four other guys living with him.

They're packed in like a bunch of sardines.

- What, running out again? - 'Hello, beautiful.'

You must stay. I found a backer for you.

- He's coming. - Where'd you get him?

He's an investing agent, named Jenkins.

He came to the office and asked for an interview with Fremont.

He has money to invest in a play.

What kinda straitjacket did he wear?

I talked him out of doing business with Fremont.

Told him about you.

I gave him a copy of "Hail and Farewell" which he's reading.

Too bad you made the appointment up here.

I donno what to do. Stay, I may lose the cast.

If you don't, you'll lose your backer.

You must be here when he comes.

- That may be Mr. Jenkins. - Man the pumps, boys.

Here.

Just a minute.

- Mr. Gordon Miller? - In the flesh.

- My name is Davis. - Davis?

Yes, the author of "Hail and Farewell."

Oh, well, this is a surprise.

I guess I should have telegraphed you I was coming.

Not at all. Don't mind the state of the room.

We were just cleaning up a bit.

- I hope I'm not intruding. - Certainly not.

This is Miss Marlowe who's gonna star in your play.

This is Mr. Binelli, my assistant.

And this is Mr. England, the brains of the organization.

That'll give you an idea of the organization.

Well, I guess I'll go down and register.

You intend to check in here?

Well, before I do that

there's something I'd like to talk to you about.

You see, I haven't any money to speak of.

I was depending on the advance.

Davis, of course, I could give you the money.

It's really of no importance.

But my advice to you is to go back home.

I'll send for you, a week before we open.

Oh, but you see, I've left home for good.

I've burned my bridges behind me.

But you could go back if you wanted to?

My mother seemed very happy when I left.

Only a mother's mask.

Right now, she'll be sitting at the fireside

wringing her hands.

- But we have no fireside. - You have no fireside?

How do you listen to the President's speeches?

What time does the next bus leave for Oswego?

- Excuse me, Miss Marlowe... - You'll thank me for this.

- I appreciate your advice... - Next bus leaves at 9:02.

- Hurry and you can make it. - It's air-cooled.

I'll help you with your bags.

Davis, this is your most important decision of your life.

Now, wait a minute. I don't want to appear stubborn.

- But I couldn't go back now. - Now, listen, Davis...

If you have lost interest in my play, just say so.

It isn't that.

I'm sure Morton Fremont would buy it.

I've got a letter of introduction to him.

- Fremont? - I guess you've heard of him.

Davis, I'm beginning to see your point.

You just don't wanna go home.

- Well, that's it. - No use forcing our opinion.

It might make him neurotic. Now, about this advance.

All you actually need it for is board and lodging?

- Yes. - Davis, your problem is solved.

You move right in here with us.

- Oh, no.. - No, no, not another word.

You are my guest. This is Liberty Hall.

- You mean live with you? - Precisely.

Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.

Oh, Davis, if you have any money on you

it'll be a good idea if I put it in my vault.

I have 67 cents.

You got 67 cents, and you're asking us for an advance?

He's always clowning.

If you fellas don't mind, I think I'll wash up.

Yeah, go ahead. The rest of us are already washed-up.

There's only one thing to do.

Ask Mr. Fremont for an advance on my salary.

Thanks. I still have some cinders left

in my ears from that train ride.

Save them for fuel, Davis. It looks like a hard winter.

Faker, I'm surprised at you.

Yeah, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, robbing a stranger.

I think he's reforming. He didn't steal the picture.

Yes, that's the first encouraging sign I've seen.

Now I know how Gypsy Rose Lee feels.

Hail and Farewell. Author, author, author!

Hello? Who wants Binelli?

Hold on. Do you know any policeman?

Policeman? What's his number?

Hello? What's that?

But, officer, this is the first I hear about this.

Okey-doke. I'll be right over.

Well, what do you know. I've just been dispossessed.