The Good Place

Eleanor? Come on in.

Hi, Eleanor. I'm Michael.

How are you today?

I'm great. Thanks for asking.

Oh, one question.

Where am I? Who are you? And what's going on?

Right. So...

you, Eleanor Shellstrop, are dead.

Your life on Earth has ended

and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.

Cool. Cool.

I have some questions.

Thought you might.

How did I die? I... I don't remember. - Yes, um...

in cases of traumatic or embarrassing deaths

we erase the memory, to allow for a peaceful transition.

Are you sure you want to hear?

All right, so you were in a grocery store parking lot.

You dropped a bottle of something called

"Lonely Gal Margarita Mix for One"

and when you bent down to pick it up, a long column of shopping carts

that were being returned to the shopping cart collection area

rolled out of control and ploughed right into you.

"Oof." That's how I died.

No, sorry, there's more.

Well, you were able to grab onto the front of the column of shopping carts

but it swept you right out into the street, where you were struck and killed

by a mobile billboard truck advertising an erectile dysfunction pill

called "Engorge-ulate."

Funnily enough, the first "EMT" to arrive was an ex-boyfriend of yours.

Okay. That's... I get it. Thank you. - Okay, sorry.

Um, so who was right?

I mean about all of this?

Well, let's see.

Hindus are a little bit right, Muslims a little bit

Jews, Christians, Buddhists - every religion guessed about five percent.

Except for Doug Forcett.

Who... who is Doug Forcett?

Well, Doug was a stoner kid who lived in Calgary during the 1970s.

One night he got really high on mushrooms, and his best friend Randy said

"Hey, what do you think happens after we die?"

And Doug just launched into this long monologue

where he got like ninety-two percent correct.

I mean

we couldn't believe what we were hearing.

That's him, actually, right up there.

He's pretty famous around here.

I'm very lucky to have that.

So, maybe my biggest question.

Am I... I mean is this...

or... you know?

Well, it's not the "heaven" or "hell" idea that you were raised on.

But generally speaking

in the afterlife, there's a Good Place, and there's a Bad Place.

You're in the Good Place.

You're okay, Eleanor.

You're in the Good Place.

Well, that's good.

Sure is. Ha!

Okay. Let's take a walk, shall we?

Oh, did I have a purse?

No, I'm dead. Right. Okay.

So, are you...

I mean, this sounds like a crazy question

but are you "God?"

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

There are many levels above me, Eleanor

before you get to the Supreme Commander

Zortraxx the Merciless Frog God

long may he reign.

I'm kidding.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no, no, no. It's not a giant frog.

Oh. Whew.

No, it's just my little joke.

Um, seriously, though. I'm... I'm not a god.

Eleanor, I'm... I'm an architect, and I designed this Neighbourhood.

So this is how it works.

The Good Place is divided into distinct "Neighbourhoods."

Each one contains exactly three hundred and twenty-two people

who have been perfectly selected to blend together into a blissful harmonic balance.

Do all the neighbourhoods look like this?

No - every neighbourhood is unique.

Some have warm weather, some cold, some are cities, some farmland.

But in each one every blade of grass, every ladybug

every detail has been precisely designed and calibrated for its residents.

There's a lot of frozen yoghurt places.

Yeah. That's the one thing we put in all the neighbourhoods.

People love frozen yoghurt.

I don't know what to tell you.

You're going to have a million more questions, I know.

For right now, you better grab a seat.

Movie's about to begin.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to your first day in the afterlife!

Good people.

But how do we know that you were good?

How are we sure?

During your time on Earth, every one of your actions

had a positive...

...or a negative value...

...depending on how much good or bad

that action put into the universe.

Every sandwich you ate, every time you bought a magazine

every single thing you did had an effect that rippled out over time

and ultimately created some amount of good or bad.

You know how some people pull into the breakdown lane

when there's traffic, and they think to themselves

"Ah, who cares? No one's watching."

We were watching. Surprise.

Anyway, when your time on Earth has ended

we calculate the total value of your life

using our perfectly accurate measuring system.

Only the people with the very highest scores -

the true cream of the crop -

get to come here, to The Good Place!

What happens to everyone else, you ask?

Don't worry about it.

you are here because you lived

one of the very best lives that could be lived.

And you won't be alone! Your true soulmate is here too!

That's right - soulmates are real.

One of the other people in your neighbourhood is your actual soulmate

and you will spend eternity together!

So welcome to eternal happiness.

Welcome to The Good Place.

Sponsored by otters holding hands while they sleep.

- Aw! - You know the way you feel

when you see a picture of two otters holding hands?

That's how you're going to feel every day.

So, who is in The Bad Place that would shock me?

Ah...

well, Mozart, Picasso, Elvis, basically, every artist, ever.

Uh... every US President except Lincoln.

That sounds about right.

Walt Disney. - Really?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

They went to town on Disney.

He has to spend eternity in a broken down boat

on the "Small World" ride with eight very tired children

and they made it so he really has to pee.

What about Florence Nightingale?

That was close but no, she didn't make it.

Wow, all those amazing people down there.

It just seems so hard to believe.

Again, it's an incredibly selective system.

Most people don't make it here.

A lawyer, who got innocent people off death row.

You're special, Eleanor.

And by the way...

welcome to your new home.

Ah! It's perfect, isn't it?

You see, in The Good Place every person gets to live

in a home that perfectly matches his or her true essence.

Cool.

So, I guess that's why my house, for example, is this adorable little cottage

whereas other people might have homes that are bigger

like that one.

Exactly.

Ah, I'm so happy you get it.

As you can see, the interior has been decorated just as you like it

in the "Icelandic primitive" style.

Oh, oh! And, uh... of course, you love clowns, so...

I do love clowns.

Now, let me show you the, uh... the video system here.

You can review everything that happened in your life from your point of view.

There we go.

This is your Human Rights mission to Ukraine.

I mean, you got a ton of points for that one. It really put you over the top.

Oh.

Chidi! Come on in.

Eleanor? I'm Chidi Anagonye.

And you are my soulmate.

Cool. Bring it in, man.

Now, excuse me. I have other people to attend to.

So, where are you from, Chidi?

Well, I was born in Nigeria, raised in Senegal.

But my work took me all over the place -

Australia, Hong Kong, Paris...

What about you?

I was born in Phoenix, Arizona.

Then I went to school in Tempe, Arizona.

And then I moved back to Phoenix, Arizona.

Your English is amazing.

Oh!

I'm actually speaking French.

This place just translates whatever you say

into a language the other person can understand.

So, it's incredible! - Whoa.

And now I want to say this... - Okay.

Eleanor.

I have spent my entire life in pursuit of fundamental truths about the universe

and now we can actually learn about them, together, as soulmates.

It's overwhelming!

Chidi? You'll stand by my side no matter what, right?

Of course, I will.

Promise me. Say "I promise I will never betray you for any reason."

Eleanor, I swear that I will never say

or do anything to cause you any harm.

Good.

Because those aren't my memories. I wasn't a lawyer.