The Syndicate (UK) - First Season

We've won the Lottery, nearly four million each.

Who's 0777? Give us that. Opening my letters again.

There were over seven grand in that safe.

I don't give a shit about the money.

He could die, Jamie.

What are you going to spend your money on?

Trying to get my husband back.

We could do some liposuction here,

here,

here.

And here,

giving it a nice lift.

And smooth out these saddlebags.

As for the breasts,

it depends whether you want to go for a reduction or a lift?

I want them up a bit.

Could you do it all in one go?

I could do the thighs and tummy tuck, but the breasts

and the semi face and eyelift would have to be done separately.

Even if I paid you more?

Denise!

Her husband's left her.

I'm sorry.

You see, this might be just a knee-jerk reaction.

You really need to think carefully about it.

We're talking about a lot of surgery here

and I have to be honest,

there will be some discomfort.

I can do discomfort.

He means pain. I want my face doing first.

Right.

And you know how much it's going to cost?

I've seen your price list and I've got money.

I've got loads of money.

Oh, sweetheart, what are you doing sat there?

I can't let you in. You'll get me into trouble.

Go on, shoo.

How are you doing?!

Hello! Have you had a nice day?

Is that you, Denise?

Yeah! I'm back, Mam.

Dave,

you're never going to guess what's happened at work.

We were robbed.

Where are you, Dave?

Where's that naughty Daddy, eh?

Where's he?

Oh! There you go, darling.

Oh, urgh, who's done that?

Denise! Are you there?

Won't be a minute, Mam.

Naughty boy!

Honestly.

Got your fish.

I could be laid here dead for all anyone cares.

I haven't had a drink all afternoon.

I'm sorry, Mam.

When's that bloody bed coming?

Soon. We're top of the waiting list.

What we waiting for, someone to peg out?

Where's Dave?

Out gallivanting, I expect.

Mam!

When he should be working.

And who'd look after you if he had to go to work?

He dun't look after me.

He lives here scot-free,

in the house your father and I worked all our lives for

and he never thinks to put his head round the door

to see if I want owt.

Did your carers come today?

In and out in two minutes.

Said I had to choose between a bed bath and a prick and ding meal.

Oh, Mam!

I'd have come straight home if I'd have known.

I'm late cos we had a burglary at the shop.

A burglary?

An armed robber with a gun, just as Stuart were cashing up.

We'd only been gone five minutes.

Mother of God, it's getting just like America.

He took the lot and bashed Bob over the head with a whiskey bottle.

They've taken him to hospital and that's where I've been.

That's terrible.

I know.

I better put Dave's fish and chips in the oven before they go cold.

I need a Xanax.

And I'll have a cup of tea!

'You have two new messages.'

'First message.'

'Dave, it's me.

'Listen, I've got to go back to work, there's a problem.

'I'll ring you later.'

'Second message.'

'I'm sorry I'm late, love, but I've got fish and chips.

'I've been to the hospital, but I'll tell you about it when I get home.'

'End of messages.'

Number 7,

one of our least popular numbers last seen five weeks ago.

And our second ball out tonight...

Hi, Dave, it's me. Where are you?

I've got fish and chi...

is number 3.

3 last made an appearance five months ago.

It's a double century for number 3 making its 200th appearance.

That's our wedding anniversary!

Drawing the fourth number now.

Of course, matching four numbers gives you a minimum £100. Best of luck.

And 28 is back again, it put in an appearance just two weeks ago.

Mam! I've got four numbers, Mam!

Where's me tea?

What've you turned it over for?

I was watching that.

We'll have definitely won summat.

Number 8, that's one of mine, I'm sure it is. Is that an 8, Mam?

It's an 8.

No, it can't be, I must've got it wrong. For God's sake.

You've been doing it seven years, you must know your numbers by now.

Billy's birthday is January the 8th!

Or is it the 18th?

You'll have won a tenner,

Karen won a tenner. And she..

Shut up, Mam!

Number 40.

40, our house, number 40.

I don't believe this.

Right, where's me ticket, what did I do with it?

I need a Xanax!

So let's recap those numbers.

No, Billy! No, it is not a game!

Number 8, number 28.

Have you found it?! Write the numbers down, Mam!

And the bounty ball is 12.

Bounty ball's 12!

I don't need the bounty ball!

Oh, my giddy aunt!

What did I do with it?

Oh!

Oh, for heaven's sake!

Oh, my Lord!

It is an 8.

I didn't have a pen so I couldn't write the numbers down, but I think I've won summat.

What's she saying?

Shhh, Mam!

So you know there's been a win in the area? How does she know?

I'm trying to listen!

Sorry?

Yes, of course I can read the numbers out.

The first one is number 3.

The next one is number 7,

number 8. 28.

It's 23.

It is an 8, mother! It's Dave's birthday, it's 28.

It's definitely 28.

All right, don't snap me head off.

The next one is number 32 and the...

Oh, I'm sorry, am I going too fast?

How hard can it be to check six numbers?

40.

Hello?

Are you still there?

Where's she gone?

Yes, of course you can ask me some questions.

It is my ticket,

but I'm part of a syndicate, there are five of us.

Have you won?

I bought the ticket where I work.

Right Buy U, Bentley Parade, Leeds.

Ask her how much.

I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

No, it's just me mam, that's all, why?

Those are the winning numbers?

Does that mean I've won?

18 million...

144,000 and..

18 million, mother of God!

Where are you going?

Oh, God! She's got it wrong. I don't believe it.

Yes, this is her mam.

I can't have won the Lottery! She gets a bit overcome sometimes, she's always been highly strung.

I don't believe it!

She must have got it wrong.

Right. Will you shut it!

What's she saying, Mam? Yeah?

And you've got this number, haven't you? Ta-ra then.

Right,

you're to sign you name and address on t'back of the ticket

and keep it somewhere safe.

There'll be someone called Andy summat-or-other coming

to see you at the shop tomorrow.

You're to tell t'others that have won straight away,

but you're not to say owt to anyone else.

18 million.

This in't a wind-up, is it?

No! I wouldn't joke about 18 million.

18 million. Where's me fags and me lighter? And a drink?

Remember, we've not got to breathe a word to anyone.

I haven't got anything in.

What about some sweet tea, for t'shock?

Tea? We should be drinking champagne.

I know!